Gertie shoved her face into Jade’s palm, blithely demanding a rubdown, which Jade granted. Everyone seemed happy with the momentary distraction, especially Gert. After a moment, the dog shuffled back off to her spot on the couch.
“I-” Jade let out a breath. “I’m sorry if I woke you.”
“I wasn’t sleeping. I was just sitting here thinking of how broke I am.”
She smiled, and he felt the usual reaction in his chest. And south. “Not that I’m complaining,” he said. “But what are you doing back here?”
She hesitated. “Remember how when you were a kid and you knew something was a really bad idea, but you wanted to do it anyway, even when everyone from your nanny to your best friend told you it was stupid?”
He’d been moved around too much for best friends. Adam had fit the bill, but if Dell had gone to do something stupid, Adam had most likely been the ringleader. “Never had a nanny.”
She nodded with a little grimace. “I knew that. I didn’t mean… I just… The stupid thing. I’m trying to tell you about the stupid thing I want to do.”
“The thing your nanny and best friend would try to talk you out of.”
“Yes. But they’re not here. And you…” She shook her head and walked into his living room and looked around.
“Forget something?”
“No, I was just sort of hoping to find your Adopt-a-Farm-Animal type of secret thing you do when you’re alone.”
“Guys have… different alone-time activities than women. Very different.”
She laughed and dropped her coat to his couch. Okay, that meant she was staying, for at least a few minutes.
Or maybe not.
He’d long ago given up trying to read her mind. She’d changed out of her gambler’s wet dream outfit and was now in a snug black sweat suit. The bottoms were contoured to her body. The hoodie was unzipped to just beneath her breasts and beneath was a lacy white number that fucked with his head. She entwined her fingers and looked at him.
He looked back.
With a sigh, she sank to his couch and patted the spot next to her.
He joined her, trying not to notice that she smelled like heaven on earth or that he managed to sit as close as he could without actually sitting on her. Which made him no better than his own damn dog.
“You haven’t been yourself,” she said softly. “You know, since we…”
Actually, to be technical, it had nothing to do with their night and everything to do with the fact that she was leaving Sunshine. But he had just enough pride to keep his mouth shut.
Barely.
Because if he opened it he’d do it. He’d say it.
Don’t go.
So instead he did something even more dumb. He dragged her up against him and kissed her, because he remembered how good she tasted, remembered that soft, sexy as hell little sound she made when he touched his tongue to hers. Remembered what it had been like to be inside her, how she’d felt all silky soft and naked in his arms.
She kissed him back until he was hard with hunger and need, but even he knew it wasn’t all physical. There was a deep and overwhelming longing within him, one he’d successfully buried for a long time but he was having trouble putting it away again.
“Dell?”
No. No talking, because he knew damn well the wrong thing would come out.
The begging.
Because God, really? What the fuck did he know about keeping a woman in his life? Not nearly enough to keep Jade with him, that was for damn sure.
Which didn’t stop him from pushing her down to the cushions and covering her body with his to kiss her again.
“Aren’t you going to ask me what stupid thing I wanted to do?” she whispered.
“Please, God,” he breathed against her neck. “Say me.”
She bit her lower lip but burst out laughing, anyway. “Dell.” She dropped her head to his chest. “This is all your fault. I just keep thinking about our night. I know it was a one time thing, it has to be a one time thing. I’m leaving, and you don’t do more than one night things, and…” She lifted her head and looked at him beseechingly. “Can you help me out here? Be the voice of reason?”
“What do you expect me to say, don’t want me? Are you kidding?”
“Tell me it was bad,” she said. “Like… bad bad. So bad that we don’t need to repeat it because it was so bad.”
Letting out a breath, he opened his mouth.
She nodded, eager to hear what he might say.
“Jade.”
“Say it.”
“It was bad. So bad we should repeat it to learn from it.”
She went still, then snorted. “Way to be strong.”
He knew every bit as much as she that this shouldn’t happen. It was risking too much. Someone was going to get hurt.
Too late for that…
And in any case, he couldn’t let her go. In fact, his arms came around her and held on. “Jade, what the hell am I going to do with you?”
“Are you as scared as I am?”
“Terrified,” he said. “Hold me.”
She laughed but did just that. “You know,” she said, mouth against his ear. “Someone once told me that when I’m in an unsure situation, calm assertive dominance is best.”
He stroked a finger over her jaw, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “You want me to assert some calm dominance now? Over you?”
She shivered and her eyes darkened. “Maybe just this once…”
As he went from zero to sixty in less than a second, rising with her in his arms to head for his bed, he had to wonder just who was the one in control.
Sixteen
The next morning Jade slumped at her desk and eyed the clock as she yawned widely. It was only eight o’clock.
She’d gotten maybe three minutes of sleep the night before, and so had Dell. He had to be dragging every bit as much as her.
Bringing up the day’s to-do list, she added, Get a nap.
Dell came in wearing work boots, low-slung jeans, a hoodie, and an opened down jacket, looking far more like a Hollywood version of the mountain vet than the real thing.
Except the dirt on his boots and the straw on his shoulder and back were real, and so were the shadows beneath his eyes.
Yep, he was dragging as much as she. Only he looked much better while doing it.
He pushed his sunglasses to the top of his head and looked at her, his cheeks ruddy from the cold air, a day’s growth on his square jaw.
He’d been riding. She’d seen him out the window tearing across the meadow on Kiwi’s back, the man and the horse beautiful in the weak sun that was trying to burn through the fog.
She looked around her for a distraction, but everything was in place. Her pencils perfectly lined up. The files were pulled. Peanut was on top of Jade’s printer. Beans was curled up on Jade’s lap. Gertie lay at her feet, staring up at her with love and adoration.
None of them needing a damn thing from her, for once.
“You were gone when I got up,” he said.
“Had things to do,” she said. “The boss is real demanding. I left you a note.”
“Yes, thanking me for last night.” His gaze held hers. “You sneaked out.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” she said.
“You sneaked.”
Okay, she had. She’d held her breath and slipped out of his warm, strong arms, grabbing her clothes off his floor and dressing on her way to the front door. “Fine!” She stood up and tossed her hands high. “I sneaked out. Are you telling me no woman’s ever sneaked out on you before?”
The look on his face answered her question, and with a sigh of disgust, she started to turn away, but he took her by the arms and lifted her up so they were nose to nose.