Being hurt was a part of life. I couldn't keep myself from it, no matter what I did. Without the voice of fear to distract me, I recognized that for fact. Knew it. Allowing myself to experience good things-love-could only help me when the bad times rolled around.
"I'm going to be okay," I told the lady striding past my chair. "I'm really going to be okay."
She gave me an odd look and hurried on.
I stayed at the airport all night, awaiting my morning flight home. I didn't sleep, but remained awake and made a list for Royce. With every item I added, I felt stronger, more assured that I was doing the right thing.
In fact, the only thing left to do was tell him what I'd decided-if he would even speak to me. I wasn't going to be afraid, though. I was marching onward. I'd make him listen if I had to.
No more fears for Naomi Delacroix. I was finally a Tigress. I would tackle life as it came. I would love and be loved.
My return flight was delayed due to rain, and when the death trap did finally take off, the ensuing turbulence almost killed me through a heart attack-and I almost killed the woman seated next to me by squeezing her too tightly. But I made it. I lived. I even flipped the plane the bird as I departed.
I hefted my bag over my shoulder and sprinted down the terminal. Outside, I hailed a cab and climbed inside. "Haul ass!" I told the driver.
He peeled out.
Thankfully Royce's apartment wasn't too far away. When we stopped abruptly, I threw the cabbie a ten and raced inside the building. But…
Royce wasn't home. And he didn't answer his cell.
Think, Naomi. Think. Where was he? I searched my place- nothing. I called his mom-no answer. I called Kera and Mel- no answer. I called Colin-no answer. Not knowing what else to do, I hailed another cab and drove to the church I'd reserved for our wedding. That would have taken place hours ago if I hadn't chickened out.
Maybe he was there, explaining to the guests that I was a flake who'd run out on him.
When I arrived, I threw open the double doors. "Royce," I called. I don't know what I expected to find inside, but what I found wasn't it. "Royce?" My shocked gaze scanned the building and tears welled in my eyes.
Everyone stood in place, and they were staring at me expectantly. There had been no cars in the lot, but everyone was here.
Mel and Kera were at the altar on Royce's left and Colin was on Royce's right. My mom and Jonathan smiled encouragingly at me. Even Rachel was there. And Jennifer. She blew me a kiss. Royce's mom and dad nodded at me, and I noticed they both had tears of happiness in their eyes.
"About time," someone muttered.
"Quiet," someone else scolded.
I clutched a hand over my stomach and stared down the aisle. Royce's expression was neutral and didn't change when our gazes locked. He was in a tux, so unbelievably handsome, while I was in jeans and a wrinkled T-shirt. My hair was in complete disarray.
Determined, I strode to him. Gulping, heart hammering, I handed him the list I'd made. "Here," I said. "This is for you."
He didn't say anything. Just read over it, expression unchanged.
"Why are you here?" I asked him quietly, my gaze never leaving his face.
"I decided to take a chance that you'd come," was his only response. Still no change in his expression. "Why are you here?"
He'd decided to take a chance. God, I loved this man. And I, well… "Didn't you read the list?"
Fierce now, his dark lashes swept up and he met my gaze. "I need to hear you say it, Naomi."
Tears spilled from my eyes. My chin trembled, making speech difficult. "The list tells all the reasons I can't live without you. All the reasons I love you." I was going to take a chance, too. "You're smart. You're honorable. You're funny. You're passionate. And you're… you. You're mine."
I turned to the crowd. "I love this man," I shouted. "I love him, and I want to marry him. I want to have his babies."
Several ohs and sniffles drifted from the crowd.
Royce and I might stumble along the way, but the journey would be worth any hardships. Slowly I faced him. "I love you," I said. "I love you so much, and I want to be with you, as your wife, forever. It might have taken me a little while to figure it out, but I still made it to the church. Consider this my application."
He grinned, his lips inching upward, and he dragged me into his arms with a murmured, "Thank God."
"Do you still want to marry me?" I asked hopefully.
He palmed my cheeks. "Well, your BlueJay says we've got an appointment today."
I grinned, too. "Give me the words."
"Yes, Naomi," he said, placing a soft kiss on my lips. "I still want to marry you. I'm nothing without you. I've loved you from the moment I first saw you. You were wearing green, and I've been obsessed with the color ever since."
His words hit me full force, and I thought back to all the women in green who had camped out in his office. All the women who had sent him pictures of themselves wearing green lingerie-or green body paint. I was the reason for that. Me. I covered my mouth with a shaky hand, more empowered in that moment than I'd been my entire life.
If I'd had any lingering fears about Royce's commitment to me, they vanished instantly. This man loved me so much he remembered the first outfit he'd seen me wear and wanted everyone else in the same color. He was crazy-insane in love with everything about me.
Like I was with him.
I lowered my hand and beamed up at him.
"Then may we at last begin?" the pastor asked on a sigh.
My smiled widened. Royce kissed me again. "You may begin," we said simultaneously.
Epilogue
September 14
Dear Wedding Journal,
Guess what? I've been married a full year now, and I'm happier than ever. Oh, and I'm also pregnant. The first go round was a false alarm-to my and Royce's disappointment. So, after the wedding, Royce and I hit the sheets as much as possible to rectify that.
We've barely gotten out of bed since.
Three months into our marriage, Royce got tired of leaving me to buy planes, so he handed that aspect of the job to Colin. Much to Mel's fury. She soon came around, though, and now travels with him. Yeah, they're still dating. I'm as surprised as you are. I think they got married in Vegas a few weeks ago, but neither one of them will say for sure. They just smile mysteriously. Neither wants to give up the image of being a player, I guess, but neither wants to give up the other, either.
Kera, too, is now married. She and George tied the knot mere weeks after me and Royce. They now have twin girls. Cutest little things ever.
And I'll soon have my own little bundle of joy. I can hardly wait!
I still can't believe I once resisted Royce. Can you? The man adores me. Truly. It's sickening sometimes, the way he loves me. He can't get enough of me. All right, all right. I can't get enough of him, either.
Anytime my old fears try to resurface-which is so rare now, it hardly bears mentioning-Royce spends hours and hours (and hours) reminding me (naked) of all the reasons he loves me.
Is he a dear or what?
Well, I better go. It's my turn to remind him of all the reasons I love him (naked, of course).
About the Author
A native of the central plains, Gena Showalter has always dreamed of being carted away by a savage alien warrior, a mystical Druinn sorcerer, or a king from a far-off planet. Since none of these men have come to claim her, she spends her days weaving stories about them. She is currently hard at work on her next romantic fantasy. Visit her Web site at www.genashowalter.com.
