“What?” She straightened, eyes blazing. “You weren’t a used car!” she said in outrage, making him smile and reach for her hand.
“It’s okay,” he said.
“No, nothing about that was okay.” She took a deep breath, clearly fighting for control. “What about the third family? And if you tell me that they traded you in, too, I’m going to go hunt them down myself.”
“They got transferred out of state and didn’t want to go through the paperwork to keep me. So I got dumped on Sol. By then my biggest goal was to get the hell out. I was done.”
“Well, no wonder!”
Because she was a little drunk and a whole lot adorable in her righteous anger for him, he pulled her close to his side and nuzzled his face into her hair. “At that point, I had no particular destination in mind. I just wanted to be free, to go.”
“So what happened?”
“Sol happened. He wasn’t much on patience, but he knew enough about how a teenage boy’s head worked. He put me on a horse and pointed me in the direction of more than seventy-five thousand acres of wild land to explore.”
“Goal accomplished?” she asked softly. “You felt free?”
“Goal accomplished.”
Again they took a shot, and Brady was glad they were within walking distance of her place.
They played another round.
Lilah lost. “By the time I got to high school,” she said, knocking back more whiskey, “I had a good idea of what poor white trash was and I didn’t like it. I’d never left Idaho, not once in my entire life. Can you imagine?” She shook her head in amusement at herself.
The moonlight touched over her hair, her face. Brady thought he’d never seen anyone more beautiful.
“All my life,” she went on, “all I wanted was to go see the world. I mean I love the people here, love my life, but I wanted to see what was out there. College was my ticket out. I got a full ride at UNLV, and off I went.”
She’d been a girl from the wilds of Idaho who’d never seen a big city much less left those wilds. He could only imagine how different Vegas must have seemed to her. “What did you think of the place?”
She laughed a little. “Culture shock. But it was a free ride, at least at first.” She shook her head. “And it was a goal accomplished for me as well, and I never took that lightly. Ever.”
He nodded. He understood perfectly.
“My grandma was so proud,” she said softly, wrapping her arms around her knees, staring out at the water reflectively, remembering. “Everyone was. And I knew I had to do it-I had to succeed. But then my second year happened. My grandma got sick and I was coming back and forth, and my grades dropped. Because of that some of my funding fell through, and I had to take a couple of jobs to make ends meet.”
His heart stopped. “Is this the part where you tell me you were forced to dance or strip for tuition? Because if so, I’m going to kick Dell’s and Adam’s asses and enjoy it.”
“No, I didn’t become good friends with them until after college.” She laughed. “But sweet offer, thanks. I’ll shelve that for the next time either of them pisses me off. I worked at night waiting tables at a club. It was fun but hard work, and I took on more hours than I should have. I fell even more behind and needed help. So the TA of my microbiology class offered to tutor me. Tyler-” She broke off, both the words and the eye contact, and dropped her head to her knees. “I fell for him a little bit.”
He couldn’t quite read her tone now and for the first time felt unsure as to her feelings since her face was hidden. “Is he still in your orbit like everyone else?”
She shook her head, her entire body tense. Clearly, this had not been a lighthearted fun relationship. He slid his hands to her shoulders, which were knotted tight. He worked at them silently, tugging a low moan from her before she straightened. “I fell in love with him. With Tyler. And he…”
Her sudden silence had his heart stopping again, because he could read her quite clearly now. He wasn’t going to like this story.
“I thought he loved me back,” she said very softly. “But… it turned out that he had this whole other life he’d hidden from me. He was a dealer on campus. Which sounded so crazy to me when I found out-he wasn’t a guy you’d ever think was dealing drugs. He didn’t do them himself, he was clean cut and well liked, but…” She shook her head. “One day he got wind of a police search at his frat house, and he got stupid.”
“How stupid?”
“He panicked and planted all his stuff in my dorm room. He had to save his stash,” she said. “Screw me, right?”
Brady drew a long, slow breath. “What happened, Lilah?”
“They couldn’t find what they wanted at his place, so they thought they’d check with the girlfriend. The stupid, naïve girlfriend. I was arrested.” She drew a shaky breath while Brady worked through the rage churning through him for what had happened to her.
“Everything eventually got cleared up,” she said. “But the damage was done. I’d missed so much class time that I couldn’t make it up, and even if I could have done so, I couldn’t possibly have focused while working at clearing my name.”
“Tyler,” Brady said past a very tight jaw. “What happened to that asshole?”
“He got off on a technicality, something to do with the way the search had been conducted. He ended up skipping town without so much as a sorry or good-bye.”
Since she was facing away from him, he couldn’t see her expression. Which meant she couldn’t see his, and that was a good thing. He knew she was used to keeping the people in her life close, developing real, deep, lasting relationships that stuck. It was a comfort to her and made her feel like she had a full family at all times. This, he was certain, had completely devastated her on all levels. “Tell me you taught him a lesson involving your boot and his nuts before he left.”
“I thought about it, but no.” She paused. “I tried to shake it off, tried to go on and not think about it, but… well, I guess I got a little depressed.”
He pulled her into his lap and hugged her. “I’m sorry.”
“In the end, what happened with Tyler didn’t matter. I was too busy dealing with my grandma. I came back here to take care of her.”
Which is how she’d ended up not finishing school at all, he realized. “Was there no one else?” he asked. “No one to help you?”
“No one really knew how bad it was. And it didn’t matter because shortly after that, I was too busy to worry about it because the doctors wanted me to put my grandma in a nursing home. I… couldn’t. I just couldn’t do it to her. She was so independent all her life, so feisty and strong… I just couldn’t.” She paused, pressing her face into his throat. He tightened his grip on her and she burrowed in like she’d been made for him.
“When she died,” she said very softly, “I should have gone back to Vegas, but I couldn’t even think about it. The joy of it was gone for me. I didn’t want to leave Sunshine anymore. I felt like a failure.”
Given how hard she worked at getting her degree at night, and how equally hard she’d hid it from everyone, she still did. “You have nothing to be ashamed of, Lilah.”
“Are you kidding? I fell for the oldest trick in the book-the TA seduction. And the arrest and all that-I was so stupid.”
“Not stupid,” he said quietly, with rage seething through him for what had happened to her.
“Naïve then,” she said. “I wasn’t ready for the hurt. It surprised me and turned me off on the whole relationship thing.”
“What about Nick and Cruz and Ian?”
She shrugged. “Nick’s a good guy, but he’s got weird feet.”
Brady arched a brow. “Weird feet?”
“And he’s allergic to dogs and cats.”
He nodded. “And Cruz?”
“Hates junk food.”
“And Ian?”
“I never got to see his feet.”
Brady fought the urge to remove his boots and ask her if he had weird feet. “So you’ve been using excuses on why not to have a relationship. Got it. But why me?”