In case of what, he wasn’t sure, but he’d take all the help he could get.
Twenty-Five
L ilah stood in front of her outside kennels, hose in hand. The duck and the lamb she’d been boarding had left a mess. She was literally elbow deep in things that she didn’t want to think about. It was a very attractive look for her.
Not.
Adding to the stress level was the fact that today was the first Saturday of the month. She had only a few minutes before she was due to work at Belle Haven’s monthly animal adoption clinic.
“My life,” she said to no one in particular, “completely sucks.”
Because he’d done it.
He’d left.
Brady had taken him and Twinkles and her shattered heart, and without even realizing that he had pieces of her with him, he’d gone.
She hadn’t slept, she hadn’t eaten, and it was all so ridiculous. She’d known he would go.
But she’d hoped…
The tears that she’d managed to hold at bay clogged her throat and, dammit, fogged up her sunglasses.
Stupid sunglasses.
And perfect, now her nose was running.
She tried to shove her sunglasses to the top of her head with her forearm but succeeded only in making them crooked on her face and she sighed deeply.
And maybe a tear slipped.
This was all her own fault. She hadn’t told him she loved him. She hadn’t told him what it would mean for him to stay. She hadn’t let him know.
The thought brought a few more unwanted tears and further fogged her lens. She couldn’t see a thing. So when the hose hit a corner of one of the kennels and splashed up, it thoroughly drenched her with icy water and God knew what else.
“Crap!” She dropped the hose and reached out blindly for the towel she’d set on the railing behind her. Except her feet landed in something slippery and down she went.
For a stunned beat she just sat there on the ground, absorbing how bad every inch of her felt.
A truck rumbled up the road and she went still because she knew the sound of that truck. Great, and now her mind was playing tricks on her. It had to be Adam or Dell. Or maybe a customer. She sneaked a peek and gasped out loud.
It was Brady. He’d forgotten something. Dammit. She couldn’t take another good-bye. Keeping her back to the direction of the clearing where he was parking and-oh God-turning off his truck, she scrambled to her feet and grabbed the hose. Must. Look. Busy.
Even when covered in dirt and gunk.
No, scratch that. She hosed herself down as fast as she could because no way was she going to let the last view he had of her be like this. Because looking like she’d just been in a wet T-shirt contest was ever so much preferable. Damn, why hadn’t she put on a black T-shirt instead of a white one this morning? Now she looked like she was on spring break in Florida. Or on Girls Gone Wild.
Eat your heart out, Brady, this is what you’re leaving.
Shading her eyes from the sun, she aimed the hose at the kennels to look busy, refusing to turn and look at him as he got out of the truck.
She heard Twinkles’s little paws pounding the ground as he bounded through the open gate to her, butt wriggling happily along with his tail.
“Aw,” she murmured, hugging him close with her free hand, feeling her throat tighten when he licked her chin. “What did you guys forget, huh?” she murmured, cupping his face. “What are you doing here?”
“Lilah.”
Her heart dropped to her toes. Keeping her back to him, she concentrated on hosing out the kennels as if it was brain surgery.
“Can I come in?” he asked very quietly, pausing at the opened gate.
He’d never asked before. He bulldozed, quietly demanded, or just did whatever the hell he wanted.
But now he was asking…
Oh God. She couldn’t do this. She’d gotten used to the fact that he was going, and now he was standing here being sweet and gentle.
Okay, she hadn’t gotten used to the fact that he was going, and him being sweet and gentle was killing her.
“Can I come in,” he repeated.
She shrugged. “The gate’s open.”
“I don’t mean into the yard, Lilah.”
No, she really couldn’t do this. She was miserable and she’d lost sight of any positive reasons for him to go. If she had to say good-bye again, she was going to throw herself at him and cling. She nodded, swiping her eyes with her sleeve, probably smearing the last of her mascara while she was at it.
A big hand pried the hose from her fingers. The water shut off, and then that hand was back, turning her to face him.
Fingers slid along her jaw and forced her head up. He looked… wary. Not something she expected. He was dressed for the job, or so she assumed, in his usual cargoes, boots, and a nondescript button-down with the usual myriad pockets. He was carrying something, but she couldn’t pay attention to that at the moment.
And if he was trying to intimidate with the solemn expression, the sunglasses were a nice touch.
Reaching up, she took them off of him.
He stood still and let her look her fill, his mouth unsmiling. He had a network of fine lines around his eyes, more from the sun than age. His eyes were stark and clear.
And utterly implacable.
He reached for her sunglasses, but she needed the barrier, the wall to hide behind, so she took a step back.
“Lilah.”
She closed her eyes behind the lenses. Which, oh good, were still crooked on her nose. And here she’d thought she might feel stupid.
“Look at me.”
She opened her eyes and saw what he had cradled between his free hand and his chest.
A box of goodies from 7-Eleven. Be still her heart. “Breakfast?” she asked, and look at that, her voice was perfectly clear. No way to tell that she was broken.
“I was thinking more along the lines of a bribe,” he said.
“For what?”
Ignoring her question, his gaze searched her face with that quiet intensity of his, the one that made her heart roll over and expose its tender underbelly. “Are you crying?” he asked.
“No. I just cut up an onion. Yes, I’m crying, you big, unfeeling, insensitive… ”
“Chickenshit bastard?”
“I was going to say ass, but okay.”
He nodded and set down the box of food on a fence post, lifting a hand to sweep his thumb beneath one of her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t mean the ass part.”
Though his eyes remained very, very serious, his mouth twitched. “Just the unfeeling, insensitive part?”
Again she lifted a shoulder. “If the shoe fits.”
With an exhale of air, he took her hand. “I’m in.”
Confused, she lifted her face, forgetting for a moment that she was a complete disgusting wreck. “What?”
His eyes were dark and still very solemn. “I’m in this,” he said.
She stared at him. “Define ‘this,’” she said very carefully. “Because if you mean you’re here, in the kennels, I’m going to hurt you. Badly.”
“Let’s start with where you are,” he said. “You’re here.” Taking her hand, he pressed it to his chest above his heart.
Beneath her palm she could feel the reassuring heat and strength of him.
And his heart, beating steady and sure.
“I haven’t had enough caffeine for this,” she whispered. “And I’m easily confused. I’m going to need more words here.”
“I love you, Lilah.”
Her heart stopped dead in her chest. “Okay,” she said shakily. “Those are some damn fine words.” She swallowed. “You came back to tell me you loved me?”
He nodded.
“And… that’s supposed to make it easier to let you go again?”
“That, and the fact that I intend to come back. Every single time. If you’ll have me. And plus,” he said, suddenly sounding uncharacteristically unsure of himself, “I brought junk food.”