I shrugged. "We like to keep busy. It's either rescue entire races or play Nintendo."
Erek laughed with his chrome dog's muzzle. Then he was instantly serious again. "I need to talk to you privately, Marco."
"Well, I don't have any secrets from Jake,"
said. "I think that's the basis of a good marriage: openness, honesty."
"It's about someone who was once very close to you, Marco."
My heart stopped beating. I knew instantly who he meant. I started to say something, but my first words died on my tongue. I tried again. "My mom?"
Erek glanced at Jake.
"It's okay," Jake said. "I know. I'm the only one who does."
Erek nodded. "Marco, your mother has returned to Earth. She is overseeing some very secret new project. It's being run from Royan Island. Or, to be precise, it's being run from the waters around Royan Island."
I wasn't really hearing what Erek was saying. I was still back on the part about my mom returning to Earth. Jake understood. He took over dealing with Erek.
"What are they doing out there in the ocean?"
"We don't know," Erek said. "But whatever it is, it would have to be huge for Visser One to be overseeing it."
"Visser Three must be a little ticked about that."
Erek nodded. "Visser Three is not one of Visser One's favorite Yeerks.
And vice versa."
"Yeah," Jake agreed.
"Look, I ... we weren't sure whether to tell you about this. But we've learned all we can. And I felt Marco had a right to know she was back on Earth. But you guys have to be clear about something. Visser One didn't get to the top of the Yeerk hierarchy by being nice. She is brilliant and dangerous."
Jake looked at me to see how I was reacting.
"You guys think I don't know what Visser One is Iike?!" I said hotly.
"I know you do," Erek said. "But humans are easily tricked by outer appearances. You judge people by their faces and eyes. The face of Visser One is the face of someone you trust, Marco. But if you Animorphs decide to investigate this thing on Royan Island, you may come up against Visser One directly."
I could see where he was going. And it made me mad. I don't even know why. "Look, Erek, I'm not an idiot, okay?"
He shook his robot head. "I know you aren't. But you love your mother.
You want to save her. So you may make mistakes."
I swear I would have swung at Erek. But he would have let me hit him.
And I would have just hurt my hand.
"There's one other clue," Erek said. "We have reason to believe that some new species of Controller is at Royan Island. We believe they are called Leerans."
"Thanks, Erek," Jake said.
"Will he be all right?" Erek asked Jake.
I didn't wait to hear Jake's answer. I turned and stepped out of the hologram. I saw a woman's eyes widen in shock. What she had seen was a kid stepping directly out of a casually chatting security guard.
Jake caught up with me a few seconds later.
"Erek didn't mean anything bad. You know that," Jake said. "He just meant - "
"I know what he meant," I snapped. "He meant if it came to crunch time, would I destroy my own mother to protect the mission? That's what he meant."
Jake grabbed my shoulder and turned me around. "And?"
I was still mad. But I knew why I was mad. It wasn't that Erek had insulted me somehow. It was that Erek was right.
"I don't know, Jake," I said. "I don't know."
Yes, I know what a Leeran is. I have heard of that species," Ax said.
"But where did you hear that word?"
It was the next day after school, out in the woods where Ax and Tobias lived. Tobias was off hunting. I wanted to talk to Ax alone. He was in his own body, of course, watching me with his main eyes while his stalk eyes cautiously scanned the trees in every direction.
I had asked Jake not to say anything to the others about Erek. The others didn't know that Visser One was my mother. They all thought what I had thought for the past two years. That my mom had drowned. That her body had never been found.
I hadn't wanted the others to know the truth. That my mother had been made into a Controller. That the Yeerk inside her head was the original commander of the Earth invasion.
I didn't want their pity. I still don't. I'm a joker. I'm a comedian.
That's how I deal with life. See, I've always believed that to some extent you get to decide for yourself what your life will be like. You can either look at the world and say, "Oh, isn't it all so tragic, so grim, so awful." Or you can look at the world and decide that it's mostly funny.
If you step back far enough from the details, everything gets funny. You say war is tragic. I say, isn't it crazy the way people will fight over nothing? People fight wars to control crappy little patches of empty desert, for crying out loud. It's like fighting over an empty soda can.
It's not so much tragic as it is ridiculous. Asinine! Stupid!
You say, isn't it terrible about global warming? And I say, no, it's funny. We're going to bring on global warming because we ran too many leaky air conditioners? We used too much spray deodorant, so now we'll be doomed to sweat forever? That's not sad. That's irony.
Note to Alanis: That is ironic.
But humor kind of breaks down when the tragedy gets up close and personal.
See, I saw what my mom's "death" did to my dad. And you know what? There wasn't anything funny about it. And I know that for a year I cried myself to sleep most nights, looking at her picture. I still feel like someone blew a hole in me. A hole that will never heal. A hole I don't want to heal, because I don't want to stop hurting for my mom, I don't want to get over it.
Jake knew my mom. So when we all came face-to-face with Visser One, he knew who she was. But not Rachel or Cassie or Tobias or Ax. And since we'd been in animal morph at the time, the human-Controller known as Visser One did not recognize "her" son.
"Where did you hear about Leerans?" Ax asked me again.