But then it's me. It's me being led out onto that steel pier by a pair of Hork-Bajir warriors. It's me kicking and screaming and begging, "Please, please, someone help me!" Knowing there is no help.
Knowing I am doomed, and feeling the despair, and hating that feeling inside of me.
I feel the Hork-Bajir kick my legs from under me. And I'm facedown on the steel pier. And they shove me forward till my face is just an inch above the gray sludge of the Yeerk pool.
It seethes and boils with the swift movements of the Yeerk slugs.
And then my head goes down. Down into the liquid. And the Yeerk that will own me is there. I see him, a gray slug, a vague, indistinct shape in the liquid.
I struggle, but what can I do against two Hork-Bajir? I struggle, but my head is held there as I scream bubbles.
The Yeerk touches my ear. Like a large snail. That's how it feels. Then the pain ... it forces its way into my ear! It's inside my ear! The pain is incredible, but so much worse is simply knowing it has me.
It surges into my brain.
And I am yanked, gasping, up from the pool.
I try to grab my ear. But my arm no longer works.
I try to yell. But my mouth is not mine anymore.
So I scream, in some dark, lonely corner of my own brain, I scream.
And the Yeerk chuckles as it opens my memories and reads my life. And I give way to the despair.
When I woke up I had soaked the pillow with my sweat. I stared at the clock. Three-twenty-seven. a.m.
The Yeerk pool. We were going back to the Yeerk pool. And I, Rachel, mighty Xena, fearless, pulled the covers up over my head and shook.
At dawn I got up and put on a robe. It was cloudy out, so the dawn was just gray. But I went to my window and opened it, just as I do every morning.
Tobias arrived, almost silent. He swept inside and landed easily on my dresser.
"How you doing?" he asked.
"Fine," I whispered. "How about you?"
I have to whisper when Tobias comes over. My sisters are right in the next room. I keep my door locked.
"I had a nice breakfast," Tobias said. "A lucky hunt." I went to my desk and opened my book. It was my homework. "Can you stand math?"
"I've gotten so I kind of like math," Tobias said. "It's something that's the same for all humans or whatever."
I opened my book.
I guess it was a weird scene. Me, with this big red-tailed hawk perched on the edge of my desk. Sitting there in the glow of a single lamp, while the rest of my family still slept. But we did it lots of mornings.
Whenever Tobias managed to find an early breakfast and it wasn't raining.
"You worried about going back to the Yeerk pool?" I laughed nonchalantly. "If I'm ever not worried about going to the Yeerk pool, you can lock me up with Mr. Edelman."
"Yeah. Look, I'm going with you guys this time. What morph do you think we'll use?"
I sighed. "You don't have to do this, you know."
"Yes I do. What morph?"
"I don't know. Probably fly or cockroach. Do you have an entrance for us?"
Part of what Tobias did with his long days, while the rest of us were in school, was monitor the movements of known Controllers. He kept track of the ever-shifting entrances to the Yeerk pool. It was fairly easy for him.
"Yeah, I have an entrance," he said. If he'd had a mouth, he would have grinned. "You guys are going to love this one." I gave him a sidelong look. "If it leads to the Yeerk pool, I don't think I'll ever love it."
"This was not easy to figure out," Tobias said proudly. "Hours and hours of following known Controllers. Then I had to keep stealing peeks in through the windows. I even morphed to human to check out the inside.
That's how I found out about the Happy Meal."
We were flies. The six of us. We were inside a McDonald's, zipping madly around. It was crazy. The scent of food was everywhere. Pickles. Meat.
Ketchup. Grease. Special sauce.
My fly body thought it had died and gone to heaven. Outside of a good trash dump, there's no place a fly likes more than a fast-food restaurant.
"What about the Happy Meal?" Cassie asked.
"Why is the meal happy?" Ax asked.
Tobias decided to answer Cassie's question. "That's how you signal.
That's the code. You go up to the counter and say "I'd like a Happy Meal. With extra happy." That's the signal." I flew upside down along the ceiling, looking for a place to land and rest. I buzzed to a nice greasy patch near the deep fryer, turned a back flip, and set down. My mouth - actually, it was more like some insanely long straw that could curl up - extended down and began spitting digestive juices onto the grease, then sucking up the resulting goo.
Hey, I know it's gross. But it was either that or keep resisting the fly's desperate cries for food! food! food!
"After you place the Happy Meal order, you go around like you're going to the bathroom. But instead, you take the other door. The one that goes to the kitchen. You go in - and here's the cool part - you go into the walk-in refrigerators
"Then what?" Jake asked.
"Then I don't know. I could never see all the way inside."
"Okay. So here's the plan," Jake said. "We watch till someone orders the Happy Meal with . . . what was it?"
"Extra happy," Tobias said.
"ls it just my imagination, or did the Yeerks develop a sense of humor?" Marco asked.
"Once we have our Controller, we follow him in. No problem," Jake said. Then he added grimly, "Oh yeah, no problem. A little picnic in the Yeerk pool. I'm sure they'll all buy that."
"Um, Jake?" Marco said. "You said that last part out loud. We heard it."
"Oh. Sorry."
"Mr. Inspiration" I said with a laugh. "Come on. Let's -"
"Uh-uh-uh! Don't say "let's do it," Rachel," Marco yelled.