"Um.... That's okay. I was just wondering...."
"You see, the situation is this. Garkin and I have been ....laying little jokes on each other for some time now. It started one time when we were drinking and he stiffed me with the bill. Well, the next time I summoned him, I brought him in over a lake and he had to do his demon act armpit deep in water. He got even by ... well, I won't bore you with details, but we've gotten in the habit of putting each other in awkward or embarrassing situations. It's really very childish, but quite harmless. But this time... ." Aahz's eyes started to narrow, "But this time the old frog-kisser's gone too... I mean, it seems to have gotten a little out of hand. Don't you agree?"
He bared his fangs at me again in a smile. I wanted very badly to agree with him, but I didn't have the foggiest idea what he was talking about.
"You still haven't told me what's wrong."
"What's wrong is that stinking slime-monger took away my powers!" he roared, forgetting his composure. "I'm blocked! I can't do a flaming thing unless he removes his stupid prankish spell and he can't 'cause he's dead! Now do you understand me, fly-bait?"
I made up my mind. Savior or not, I'd rather he went back where he came from.
"Well, if there was anything I could do...."
"There is, Skeeve, my boy." Aahz was suddenly all purrs and teeth again. "All you have to do is fire up the old cauldron or whatever and remove this spell. Then we can each go our separate ways and...."
"I can't do that."
"Okay, kid," his smile was a little more forced. "I'll stick around until you're on your feet. I mean, what are friends for?"
"That's not it."
"What do you want? Blood?" Aahz was no longer smiling. "If you're trying to hold me up, I'll...."
"You don't understand!" I interrupted desperately. "I can't do it because I can't do it! I don't know how!"
That stopped him.
"Hmm. That could be a problem. Well, tell you what. Instead of pulling the spell here, what say you just pop me back to my own dimension and I'll get someone there to take it off."
"I can't do that either. Remember, I told you I'd never even heard of...."
"Well, what can you do?!"
"I can levitate objects ... well, small objects."
"And...." he encouraged.
"And ... urn ... I can light a candle."
"Light a candle?"
"Well... almost."
Aahz sank heavily into a chair and hid his face in his hands for several minutes. I waited for him to think of something.
"Kid, have you got anything in this dump to drink?" he asked finally.
"I'll get you some water."
"I said something to drink, not something to wash in!"
"Oh. Yessir!"
I hastened to bring him a goblet of wine from the small keg Garkin kept, hoping he wouldn't notice the vessel wasn't particularly clean.
"What will this do? Will it help you put your powers back?"
"No. But it might make me feel a little better." He tossed the wine down in one swallow, and studied the goblet disdainfully. "Is this the biggest container you've got?"
I cast about the room desperately, but Aahz was way ahead of me.
He rose, strode into the pentagram, and picked up the brazier. I knew from past experience it was deceptively heavy, but he carried it to the keg as if it were weightless. Not bothering to empty out Garkin's concoction, he filled it to the brim and took a deep draught.
"Aah! That's better." He sighed.
I felt a little queasy.
"Well, kid," he said, sweeping me with an appraising stare, "it looks like we're stuck with each other. The setup isn't ideal, but it's what we've got. Time to bite the bullet and play the cards we're dealt. You do know what cards are, don't you?"
"Of course," I said, slightly wounded.
"Good."
"What's a bullet?"
Aahz closed his eyes as if struggling against some inner turmoil.
"Kid," he said at last, "there's a good chance this partnership is going to drive one of us crazy. I would guess it will be me unless you can knock off the dumdum questions every other sentence."
"But I can't understand half of what you're saying."
"Hmm. Tell ya what. Try to save up the questions and ask me all at one time once a day. Okay?"
"I'll try."
"Right. Now here's the situation as I see it. If Isstvan is hiring Imps for assassins...."
"What's an Imp?"
"Kid, will you give me a break?"
"I'm sorry, Aahz. Keep going."
"Right. Well... umm.... It's happening!" he made his appeal to the heavens. "I can't remember what I was saying!"
"Imps," I prompted.
"Oh! Right. Well, if he's hiring Imps and arming them with non-spec weapons, it can only mean he's up to his old tricks. Now since I don't have my powers, I can't get out of here to sound the alarm. That's where you come in, kid.... Kid?"
He was looking at me expectantly. I found I could contain my misery no longer.
"I'm sorry, Aahz," I said in a small, pitiful voice I hardly recognized as my own. "I don't understand a single thing you've said."
I suddenly realized I was about to cry, and turned away hurriedly so he wouldn't see. I sat there, with tears trickling down my cheeks, alternately fighting the urge to wipe them away and wondering why I was concerned over whether or not a demon saw me crying. I don't know how long I stayed that way, but I was brought back to reality by a gentle hand on my shoulder, a cold, gentle hand.
"Hey, kid. Don't beat on yourself," Aahz's voice was surprisingly sympathetic. "It's not your fault if Garkin was tight with his secrets. Nobody expects you to have learned something you were never taught, so there's no reason you should expect it either."
"I just feel so stupid," I said, not turning. "I'm not used to feeling stupid."
"You aren't stupid, kid. That much I know. Garkin wouldn't have taken you for an apprentice if you were stupid. If anybody here's stupid, it's me. I got so carried away with the situation, I forgot myself and tried talking to an apprentice as if he were a full-blown magician. Now that's stupid."
I still couldn't bring myself to respond.
"Heck, kid." He gave my shoulder a gentle shake. "Right now you can do more magik than I can."
"But you know more."
"But I can't use it. You know, kid, that gives me an idea. With old Garkin dead there, you're kind of cut off. What say you sign on as my apprentice for a while. We'll take it from the top with me teaching you as if you were a new student who didn't know a thing. We'll take it step by step from the beginning. What da ya say?"
In spite of my gloom I felt my spirits lift. Like he said, I'm not stupid. I could recognize a golden opportunity when I saw one.
"Gee, that sounds great, Aahz."
"Then it's a deal?"
"It's a deal," I answered and stuck out my hand.
"What's that?" he snarled. "Isn't my word good enough for you?"
"But you said...."
"That's right. You're my apprentice now, and I don't go around shaking apprentices' hands."
I withdrew my hand. It occurred to me this alliance might not be all roses and song.
"Now as I was saying, here's what we've got to do about the current situation...."
"But I haven't had any lessons yet!"
"That's right. Here's your first lesson. When a crisis shapes up, you don't waste energy wishing for information or skills you haven't got. You dig in and handle it as best you can with what you've got. Now shut up while I fill you in on the situation... apprentice."
I shut up and listened. He studied me for a moment, then gave a small satisfied nod, took another gulp from the brazier and began.
"Now, you have a vague idea about other dimensions because I told you about them earlier. You also have firsthand experience that magicians can open passages in the barriers between those dimensions. Well, different magicians use that power in different ways. Some of them, like Garkin, only use it to impress the yokels; summon a demon, visions of other worlds, that kind of schtick. But there are others whose motives are not so pure."