"Don't 'but' me! Either you believe in me as a teacher or you don't! There's no buts about it!"
"I'm sorry, Aahz." I was getting my breath back again.
"Ahh… didn't mean to jump on you like that, kid, but you half scared me to death with that fall. You've got to understand we're starting to get into some pretty powerful magik now. You've got to expect them to work. A surprise-break like that last one with the wrong thing could get you killed, or me for that matter."
"I'll try to remember, Aahz. Shall I try it again?"
"Just take it easy for a few minutes, kid. Flying can take a lot out of you, even without the fall."
I closed my eyes and waited for my head to stop whirling.
"Aahz? "I said finally.
"Yeah, kid?"
"Tell me about Perv."
"What about it?"
"It just occurred to me, those Imps seemed scared to death when they realized you were a Pervect. What kind of a reputation does your dimension have?"
"Well," he began, "Perv is a self-sufficient, stand-offish dimension. We may not have the best fighters, but they're close enough that other dimension travelers give them lots of room. Technology and magik exist side by side and are intertwined with each other. All in all it makes a pretty powerful little package."
"But why should anyone be afraid of that?"
"As I said, Perv has a lot going for it. One of the side effects of success is an abundance of hangers-on. There was a time when we were close to being swamped with refugees and immigrants from other dimensions. When they got to be too much of a nuisance, we put a stop to it."
"How?" I pushed.
"First, we took the non-contributing outsiders and ran 'em out. Then, for an added measure of insurance, we encouraged the circulation of rumors of certain antisocial attitudes of Pervects toward those from other dimensions."
"What kind of rumors?"
"Oh, the usual. That we eat our enemies, torture folks for amusement and have sexual practices that are considered dubious by any dimension's standards. Folks aren't sure how much is truth and how much is exaggeration, but they're none too eager to find out firsthand."
"How much of it is true, Aahz?" I asked propping myself up on one elbow.
He grinned evilly at me.
"Enough to keep 'em honest."
I was going to ask what it took to be considered a contributing immigrant, but decided to let it pass for a while.
Chapter Eleven
One of the joys of travel is visiting new towns and meeting new people.
"AH! What a shining example of civilization!" chortled Aahz exuberantly as he peered about him, delighted as a child on his first outing.
We were sauntering casually down one of the lesser used streets of Twixt. Garbage and beggars were strewn casually about while beady rodent eyes, human and inhuman, studied us from the darkened doors and windows. It was a cluster of buildings crouched around an army outpost which was manned more from habit than necessity. The soldiers we occasionally encountered had degenerated enough from the crisp recruiting poster model that it was frequently difficult to tell which seemed more menacing and unsavory, the guards or the obviously criminal types they were watching.
"If you ask me, it looks more like mankind at its worst!" I mumbled darkly.
"That's what I said, a shining example of civilization!"
There wasn't much I could say to that, not feeling like getting baited into another one of Aahz's philosophical lectures.
"Aahz, is it my imagination or are people staring at us?"
"Relax, kid. In a town like this the citizens will always instinctively size up a stranger. They're trying to guess if we're victims or victimizers. Our job is to make sure they think we're in the second category."
To illustrate his point he suddenly whirled and crouched like a cat, glaring back down the street with a hand on his sword hilt.
There was sudden movement at the windows and doorways as roughly a dozen half-seen forms melted back into the darkness.
One figure didn't move. A trollop leaning on a windowsill, her arms folded to display her ill-covered breasts, smiled invitingly at him. He smiled and waved. She ran an insolent tongue tip slowly around her lip and winked broadly.
"Um…Aahz?"
"Yeah, kid?" he replied, without taking his eyes from the girl.
"I hate to interrupt, but you're supposed to be a doddering old man, remember?"
Aahz was still disguised as Garkin, a fact which seemed to have momentarily slipped his mind.
"Hmm? Oh, yeah. I guess you're right, kid. It doesn't seem to bother anybody else though. Maybe they're used to feisty old men in this town."
"Well, could you at least stop going for your sword? That's supposed to be our surprise weapon."
Aahz was wearing the assassin's cloak now, which he quickly pulled forward again to hide his sword.
"Will you get off my back, kid? Like I said, nobody seems to be paying any attention."
"Nobody?" I jerked my head pointedly toward the girl in the window.
"Her? She's not paying any more attention to us than she is anyone else on the street."
"Really?"
"Well, if she is, it's more because of you than because of me."
"Me? C'mon, Aahz."
"Don't forget, kid, you're a pretty impressive person now."
I blinked. That hadn't occurred to me. I had forgotten I was disguised as Quigley now.
We had hidden the demon hunter just outside of town… well, actually we buried him. I had been shocked by the suggestion at first, but as Aahz pointed out, the statue didn't need any air and it was the only sure fire way we had of ensuring he wouldn't be found by anyone else.
Even the war unicorn following us, now fully saddled and armored, did not help me keep my new identity in mind. We had been traveling together too long now.
I suppose I should have gotten some satisfaction from the fact I could now maintain not only one, but two disguises without consciously thinking about it. I didn't. I found it unnerving that I had to remember other people were seeing me differently than I was seeing myself.
I shot a glance at the trollop. As our eyes met, her smile broadened noticeably. She displayed her increased enthusiasm by leaning further out of the window until I began to worry about her falling out… of the window or her dress.
"What did I tell you, kid!" Aahz slapped me enthusiastically on the shoulder and winked lewdly.
"I'd rather she was attracted to me for me as I really am," I grumbled darkly.
"The price of success, kid," Aahz responded philosophically. "Well, no matter. We're here on business, remember?"
"Right," I said firmly.
I turned to continue our progress, and succeeded only in whacking Aahz soundly in the leg with my sword.
"Hey .'Watch it, kid!"
It seemed there was more to this sword-carrying than met the casual eye.
"Sorry, Aahz," I apologized. "This thing's a bit point-heavy."
"Yeah? How would you know?" my comrade retorted.
"Well… you said…."
"I said? That won't do it, kid. What's point-heavy for me may not be point-heavy for you. Weapon balance is a personal thing."
"Well… I guess I'm just not used to wearing a sword," I admitted.
"It's easy. Just forget you're wearing it. Think of it as part of you."
"I did. That's when I hit you."
"Hmm… we'll go into it more later."
Out of the corner of my eye, I could still see the trollop. She clapped her hands in silent applause and blew me a kiss. I suddenly realized she thought I had deliberately hit Aahz, a premeditated act to quell a rival. What's more, she approved of the gesture.
I looked at her again, more closely this time. Maybe later I would give Aahz the slip for a while and…
"We've got to find Frumple." Aahz's voice interrupted my wandering thoughts.