“I’m afraid I’m not much good with phones, either,” Tess said to Mrs. Blossom. “I know how to use mine, but not others. Why don’t you come up front and sit next to me, as I talk the class through public record searches, online and off-line?”
Beaming as if she had been anointed teacher’s pet, Mrs. Blossom bustled up front and pulled her chair so close that Tess was overwhelmed by her perfume, a sickly sweet gardenia.
“Let’s start with land records,” Tess said, trying to reach past Mrs. Blossom and type. The lyrics from the old Police song “Don’t Stand So Close to Me” popped into her head, and she had to lose herself in the byways of the Maryland Department of Assessments and Taxation to stifle her giggles. This woman had paid six hundred dollars because NBC’s Monday night lineup had failed her. She deserved the pretense of respect at the very least. “In Maryland, you can research the history of ownership with just the address, using the assessor’s Web site, but you still might have to go to the courthouse for additional information. Your address, Mrs. Blossom?”
The woman looked around the class, then whispered into Tess’s ear. “University One, at the corner of St. Paul. But only for six months. Before that, we lived on Hawthorne.”
“Let’s use the house on Hawthorne,” Tess said. “Apartments are tricky, and you haven’t been there a year.”
“It’s a condo,” Mrs. Blossom said, “and the house on Hawthorne isn’t mine anymore.”
There was a world of sorrow in that sentence, but Tess couldn’t stop for it. She had eleven Encyclopedia Browns chomping at the bit.
Although the Hopkins campus was not even a mile from where Tess lived, it was almost ten before she disentangled herself from the last student, one of the undercover writers, who kept trying to inveigle her to go to the Charles Village Pub. Her body was so divided between fatigue and hunger that it was her plan to eat dinner while lying down, the prescribed Passover posture, but Crow was on the sofa with Lloyd Jupiter. How could she have forgotten Monday was movie night?
A seventeen-year-old West Baltimore kid, Lloyd was fast becoming Crow’s ward, the young Dick Grayson to Crow’s Bruce Wayne of semistately Monaghan manor. But had Batman and Robin’s relationship flourished after Robin had tried repeatedly to rip Batman off, con him, and inadvertently almost get him killed? Tess thought not. Still, the always forgiving Crow had taken a serious interest in every facet of the young dropout’s education, supervising not only his peripatetic march toward a GED but also his exposure to serious cinema. Tonight’s selection was Once Upon a Time in the West, clearly chosen to counterbalance last week’s Children of Paradise, which had received one finger up from Lloyd Jupiter, but not a very nice one.
Crow had paused the movie for a talking point, as was his habit. “You see, throughout his career Henry Fonda always played good guys – hey, Tess – so Sergio Leone really messed with people’s heads when he cast him in this part.”
Tess sank to the rug, relieved to see that there was plenty of homemade guacamole left. Crow was trying to broaden Lloyd’s palate, too, but that was a much tougher battle.
“That other guy – he was the Tunnel King, right, from The Great Escape?”
“Right!” Crow’s enthusiastic affirmation reminded Tess of her own cheerleading for Mrs. Blossom’s timid trek across the steppes of the Internet. “He also starred in a series of vigilante films in the 1970s, which were very politically divisive-”
Just out of Crow’s eye line, Tess pretended to slump in catatonia at this pedantic discussion of Death Wish, and Lloyd began giggling, a high-pitched bubble of sound that reminded Tess he was at once a very young and very old seventeen. Crow, catching on to their mockery, threw a pillow at her head.
“While you’ve been here, communing with the end product of Hollywood, I had an encounter with the real thing,” Tess said, regaling them with the story of her accidental set visit, although it was slightly changed now, with her saying out loud many of the things she had merely thought.
“Tumulty?” Crow said. “That might explain the series of phone messages we’ve been getting tonight, which I’ve been trying to ignore. The phone had been ringing every half hour, to the minute, but I didn’t recognize the caller ID so I didn’t pick up. After the fifth message or so, I checked, and the messages were identical. ‘This is Greer Sadowski, calling Tess Monaghan for Mr. Tumulty. Are you there? Will you pick up? Please call me back at your convenience.’”
Crow was a good mimic, catching the young woman’s not quite suppressed o sounds, the mechanical flatness of her voice.
“He wants me to work for him.”
“Really?” Lloyd’s eyes lit up. It was, quite possibly, the only time that Tess had ever managed to impress Lloyd, who was consistently underwhelmed by the mundaneness of her life as a private investigator. That, and the fact that she didn’t know tae kwon do, or how to use nunchakus.
“Yeah, but it’s not my sort of gig, Lloyd. More security than investigation or paper trails, and I’m a one-woman agency. I simply don’t have the personnel.”
“But you would be working on a movie. A movie made by the son of Philip Tumulty, the guy who made The Beast.”
Given his youth, Lloyd had no use for the gentle, nostalgic – and, truth be told, very, very white – comedies made by Tumulty senior. Tess wondered how Tumulty would feel to learn that there were, in fact, some Baltimoreans who preferred the special effects epics that had made him rich while destroying his artistic cred.
“I wouldn’t be working on the movie, Lloyd. I’d be babysitting a spoiled actress.”
“Still…” He groaned in frustration at her stupidity, her obtuseness at rejecting this golden ticket into a rarefied world.
“Lloyd, buddy, why don’t you get a head start on the dishes?” Crow asked. Lloyd slumped back in a sullen teen pout, and Crow added: “You promised. I said you could bunk here tonight, and you said you would clean up the kitchen. Remember?”
“He has his own apartment,” Tess said, waiting until Lloyd was in the kitchen and out of earshot, where odds were that one in ten pieces of crockery wouldn’t make it out alive. “You went to a lot of trouble to set him up, get him to establish some independence, but he seems to be here more and more.”
“He had his own apartment,” Crow said. “That didn’t work out so well.”
“Don’t tell me…”
In the six months since Lloyd Jupiter had invaded their lives – and Tess could not help thinking of it as a criminal act, given that it had begun with a series of misdemeanors and felonies – Crow had done everything he could to help the teenager stand on his own two feet, but it was proving far more difficult than even Tess had anticipated.
“He started letting some old friends flop there. Drugs followed, although I’m pretty sure that Lloyd’s not using. He’s content with smoking a blunt now and then, and I’m not a big enough hypocrite to lecture him on that. But when the landlord got wind of what was happening, he evicted him.”
“You can’t evict someone just because you suspect illegal activity.”
“You can if your tenant is an inexperienced seventeen-year-old who doesn’t know his rights. Anyway, Lloyd tried going back to his mom’s. That lasted all of a week.”
“His stepfather?”
“Yeah, there’s no bridging that gap. Lloyd called me today, asked for bus fare, thought he could go back to the Delaware shore and stay with the friends he made there over the summer. But there’s not enough work to keep him busy off-season, and an idle Lloyd is a dangerous Lloyd, at least to himself.”