“Something like.” She likes eggs, he thought, and wheat toast over white—no butter. “I don’t want you to see other men. Not the way I feel right now. Don’t ask me to explain. I can’t. Yet.”
She eyed him over the brim of her glass.
“I wouldn’t ask you to be faithful if I wasn’t willing to do the same.” The words sounded foreign to his ears and incited a short burst of panic. As Sam had pointed out, Luke had never been in a monogamous relationship for more than three days. What if he slipped? What if the Kelly twins tempted him with a ménage or what if he grew bored with Rae after a short couple of weeks?
“I’d feel flattered if you didn’t look so miserable,” Rae said with a soft smile.
“Unchartered territory, is all.”
“Same here. What I mean,” she elaborated after a sip, “is that I’ve never been in a serious relationship, a committed relationship. Especially of a romantic nature.”
“Never?”
She shook her head then reached for the pancakes.
Hearty appetite, Luke noted then scrunched his brow. “Not to be shallow,” he said plainly, “but you’re rich, beautiful, and smart. How is it you haven’t had men dogging after you since you were, I don’t know, fourteen?”
“Plenty of dogs,” Rae said, looking uncomfortable now.
“But no suitable contenders? No pledges of love? No marriage proposals?”
“None that I took seriously.”
He weighed her words, starting to feel uncomfortable himself. “Are you saying you haven’t met a man who met your standards?”
“I’m saying I haven’t met a man who loved me for me.” She set aside her fork, the pancakes untouched. “Can we get back to us, please?”
He felt a little blindsided. “Sure.” He chugged his coffee and poured more. This was a three-cup morning, at least. “Except … hell. I feel awkward asking now, because—”
“You don’t love me.”
“I don’t know you.”
“Ask your question, Luke.”
He dragged his hands though his hair, centered his thoughts then met her gaze. “I want to see you, Rae. Exclusively. I want to date you. I want to sleep with you. I want to learn what makes you tick, what makes you smile. I want to be with you the next time you visit a doctor. I want to talk about our baby’s future and explore the possibility of a future for us. You can’t deny there’s a connection.”
“What if the connection is the baby? Period?”
Luke didn’t answer. It was possible. Sure. But he’d wager not something Rae wanted to hear. He reached across the table and gently grasped her hand. “Will you be my girl, Rae?” The question was so freaking old-fashioned, he half expected her to laugh.
Instead, she brushed her thumb over the back of his hand. “One stipulation.”
The first time he’d ever offered a woman an exclusive commitment and she had a stipulation? “Shoot.”
“If it’s not working, if we’re not compatible, we call it off. Before we start resenting one another, before it gets ugly. If nothing else, I want us to be friends for the sake of our daughter.”
“Or son.”
“I’m serious, Luke. If even one of us is unhappy in this exclusive relationship … It only takes one to end it.”
“Not sure I like the sound of that.”
“It’s the only thing I feel comfortable with.”
Huh. He should’ve been dancing on air. She’d just offered him the perfect out. It bugged the hell out of him. He squeezed her hand. “Okay.”
“Okay.” She smiled a little even though he sensed the tension in her body. “You’re not going to ask me to wear your class ring, are you?” she teased in light of his adolescent proposal. “Proof to the men of Sugar Creek that I’m off-limits?”
“Lucky for you, I lost that ring years ago. But no worries,” he teased back. “I’ll make it clear you’re my girl.”
She narrowed her beautiful albeit suspicious eyes. “Should I be worried?”
Luke’s brain buzzed with everything he’d learned about Rae so far, which wasn’t much, but enough to know she hadn’t been treated well by the men in her life, that she had a shitty relationship with her family, few friends, and few, if any, brushes with genuine affection. The mother of his child deserved better. Any woman deserved better. “Let’s just say you’ve been warned.”
NINETEEN
“In addition to toddler and preschool programs, I’m toying with the idea of enrichment programs for ages five through ten,” Rae said. “Supplemental educational opportunities that complement the elementary school’s core curriculum. Most classrooms are overcrowded these days and some children need extra help. I could—”
“You could what?”
Rae looked away from the locked doors of Sugar Tots to the man sitting next to her. On their way to J. T. Monroe’s Department Store, Luke had pulled into the small parking lot of Sugar Tots. He’d invited her to share her plans for reopening the day care center. He’d been the first to ask and apparently she was dying to voice her aspirations because, she realized now, she’d been rambling nonstop for several minutes. “I could help.” A flush crept up her neck to her cheeks. “I don’t mean to sound arrogant, but I have a gift with children and head for education. Special techniques to make learning fun. I have all these ideas—”
“What kind of ideas?”
Rae fussed with her seat belt, angled away the heating vent, and checked her watch. They’d been idling in Luke’s car, in front of Sugar Tots for twenty minutes. It felt like a blip and a lifetime rolled into one.
“Why are you so shy about sharing your vision?” Luke asked.
“I’m not shy. I could talk about my vision for Sugar Tots for hours.”
“So?”
“I’ve been rambling. You’re probably bored to tears and too polite to say.”
“If I was bored I wouldn’t prod you to share more.” He cocked his head. “How did you do it?”
“Do what?”
“Bottle up all that passion and knowledge when you were working here under Gretchen?”
Rae shrugged. “It leaked out sometimes, but she didn’t want to hear it. She was set in her ways.”
“And not half as committed to the children of this town as you are. She threw in the towel and you’re not only picking up the pieces, but raising the bar.” He narrowed his eyes. “How is it you’re not already established as a teacher somewhere else?”
“Jobs are hard to come by.”
“Surely not for someone as smart and influential—”
“You mean rich. I wasn’t rich before. Not personally.”
“But now you are.”
“The thing about being smart and influential is that there’s always someone smarter and more influential than you. And if that person wants to derail your life well then you’re sort of screwed.” Rae cursed the words as soon as they left her mouth. What was wrong with her? She’d never been so forthright. When she was younger, yes, but not for a long time. Not after learning how people twisted her words. Not after enduring disappointment, humiliation, and betrayal on multiple counts.
“Who wants to derail your life, Rae?”
“No one. Forget I said anything.”
“Your mom? Geoffrey?”
Rae blinked.
“I’d have to be an idiot not to notice the tension between you and those two when I was at your house—”
“Their house.”
“Factor in your unwillingness to raise your child anywhere near them? I’m sensing bad blood.”
“We don’t get along, that’s for sure. Can we go now?” She wasn’t ready for this conversation. She didn’t want to think about her mom or Geoffrey, let alone talk about the misery they’d inflicted. But even as she pushed away the memories, anger and panic tripped her pulse.