He shakes his head and looks at the two guards. “You,” he points to beardy, “check in the bathroom. You check the couch, I’ll check the bed.”
“You got it,” sleeveless answers.
Gabe sighs and walks to the side of my bed. His hair is pulled back today and the bags under his eyes make it seem like he didn’t get much sleep last night. I wonder if I look the same. I didn’t sleep much at alclass="underline" listening to Paxton bark out orders, listening to the guards talk about their theories of what might be going on. It actually made for quite an entertaining experience. The conversations ranged from Paxton seeing a ghost to the possibility of there being greyskins inside the town. But the most popular theory was that Paxton had slept so little that he had only thought he saw something. Of course, I’m sure by now they all know that a journal and gun were stolen, so those theories went out the window.
Gabe tousles the sheets and pulls up the mattress to look as though he’s trying to find something. When it seems messy enough, he stands and looks at me, clearly displeased. It didn’t occur to me until now that he had probably already known about the gun. I bite my lower lip and raise an eyebrow at him as the other two guards come near us.
“Did you find what you were looking for?” I ask.
“No,” Gabe says, not taking his eyes away from mine. “Looks like we’ll have to search all of the other apartments until we do.” He finally turns to the other guards and instructs them to move on to the next apartment. When they leave the room, Gabe walks up close to me and whispers in my ear. “I want to talk to you this evening.”
“It’s a date,” I say.
He steps back from me and shakes his head, clearly not wanting to joke, but I just bite my lip again and smile. After what I did, I doubt he’s going to want me in with the soldiers, but at least he gave me some time to get rid of the journal. He doesn’t say anything as he leaves the room, and I stand here in the quiet for a few moments.
I shouldn’t have taken the gun. The look of disappointment in Gabe’s eyes was enough to make me feel sick to my stomach. I know I haven’t known him for a long time, but people get closer faster in this new life, and what Gabe thinks of me is kind of important. But I needed the gun. Having it under my mattress last night gave me such a sense of comfort and protection. I’m sure if I hadn’t been busy listening in on soldier conversations the whole night I might have slept well. And I know I will sleep well with it under my mattress tonight. And why shouldn’t I have a gun? How could the citizens here be okay with a law that strips from them their only means of protection? I was never okay with it, but I was forced to accept it.
No longer.
I listen for the next few minutes as Gabe and his two cronies search the other apartments below me. As I turn my ear across the town to other apartment buildings, I can hear some guards searching the rooms frantically, while others explain courteously why they have to barge into the home and look for something that someone stole. I’m sure Gabe doesn’t think all this fuss is worth it.
I meet him later in the evening when the search has stalled. I sit on a bench next to one of the gardens a couple of streets down from Main Street as he stands next to a wall nearby. There are hardly ever people in this part of the town, so it’s a good place for a private conversation. The entire town seems to be on edge after having their homes searched and raided. Some are complaining to the guards publicly, others demanding to see Paxton. I think Gabe is just happy to be sitting away from the commotion.
“Before all this crap started, I used to smoke,” he says, rubbing the stubble on his face.
“The greyskin crap?” I ask.
He nods and turns his head to me. “Cigarettes became pretty scarce in the months after.”
“I bet,” I say. “I’ve never tried cigarettes, but I believe I’ve needed one a time or two.”
He laughs as he leans against the wall. His face then becomes very serious. “What did you find out?”
I shrug at him. “What’s it worth to you?” I ask playfully, pulling my knees up to my chest.
“I’m not in the mood for games, Remi,” he says, looking up and down the street. “I’m really uncomfortable with all this. Do you know how much trouble we can get in?”
“It’s just a stupid journal,” I say.
“And a gun!” he says in a harsh whisper. “I can’t begin to tell you how mad Paxton was last night.”
I know, I heard, I wanted to say.
“Why’d you take the gun, Remi, why?”
I look away from him, my knees leaving my chest, and I bend my head to stare at the ground. I sit for a moment, not wanting to say anything, not really knowing what to say. Should I tell him that having a gun helps me sleep? Do I tell him that three months ago I had been on the road where almost everywhere I went there were greyskins? Should I talk about all the times I was awoken by the gargling noises of the dead chasing after me, wanting nothing but to rip the muscle from my bones? What about all the nights for the past three months since I’ve been safe where all I can do is dream about greyskins coming after me, and of all the people that I’ve lost?
My eyes go from the ground to Gabe. “Why did you take my gun?” I ask, standing to my feet. I take a few steps closer to him. “Answer me that.”
“Those are the rules,” he says.
I take another step forward and shove his chest. He reaches out to try and stop me, but I just shove him again until he’s standing upright, no longer leaning against the wall. His eyebrows dart downward as he stares at me.
“Your rules leave these people defenseless. They leave me defenseless.”
“They aren’t my rules,” Gabe says. “I can no more change them than you can.”
I turn away from him and walk back to the bench, but I don’t sit.
“That’s why you want to be a soldier, isn’t it?” he asks.
I don’t answer him. The answer is obvious.
“I had no idea, Remi, I’m sorry.”
“You shouldn’t be,” I say. I turn back to face him, but I don’t look up. “The gun was there, so I took it. I can’t explain it to you, but it’s just instinct now. And instinct tells me to keep it.”
“If you’re caught with that thing, Paxton will kick you out,” Gabe says.
“I know.”
“Your best bet is to get rid of it.”
“You clearly don’t understand,” I say.
“I do,” he says. “Get rid of it and be a soldier here.”
My eyes light up at his words. “Do you mean that?”
“Well, you have to hold up your end of the bargain,” he says with a smile. “But yeah.”
“You’re going to be disappointed with my end of the bargain,” I say. “Or relieved, I’m not sure what you’re looking for exactly.”
Gabe shrugs and moves closer to me. I hate it that my heart beats harder when he is near me.
“Shadowface is just a supplier,” I tell him. “The journal says nothing about who he is or where he comes from. It’s nothing more than a book of minutes that Paxton keeps locked in the desk. Anyway, Shadowface came up less than a year ago, and throughout the journal he is only mentioned when the elders need something.”
Gabe nods as he takes the words in.
“It doesn’t sound that strange to me,” I say. “In fact, it sounds like a good idea. Though, I’m a little surprised that you don’t know about it, being the lead scout and all. Don’t you go for supply runs? Don’t you see shipments that Shadowface brings in?”
“I go for supply runs, but I rarely bring anything good back,” he says. “In fact, the only times we’ve ever scored decent supplies is when Paxton and an elder go out themselves.”