I could have refused to go – but the truth was I wanted to. It was a bold plan, and would guarantee one hell of an adrenalin rush. The Boss knew the aircraft as well as any of us, and he was confident the Apache could take it.
We decided to fly Op Steve-O at night. The Dushka’s muzzle flash and tracer rounds would be seen easily with the naked eye whilst the heat of his barrel in the chill of the night would show up far better on our FLIR camera. And if we went down, we’d have Night Vision Goggles and the cover of darkness.
I would be flying this mission, and Trigger would provide the eyes. The four of us headed down to the flight line after the evening brief. Charlotte and Darwin were small but perfectly formed at the best of times. They were completely dwarfed by the Apache they were checking over. ‘Hey, Umpalumpas,’ I said. ‘Do you want an extra cushion in that beast to help you see over the dash?’
‘You better believe it, Ed.’ Darwin looked up from the cannon. ‘There’ll be that many bells and whistles going off in your cockpit when the sniper sparks up, you’ll be praying we can see enough to nail him before he finishes you off.’
Charlotte carried on polishing the seeker dome of a Hellfire. Maximum effect for minimum effort was more her style. ‘Here’s the deal, Mr Macy. You concentrate on not getting shot and leave the bad guy to me. If I get him first time, you sign off our annual weapons check.’ She treated me to her most Sphinx-like smile. ‘What do you say?’
Trigger chuckled. ‘They’ll do, eh?’
‘Yes, Boss,’ I said with a grin. ‘They’ll do just fine.’
The Apache was built to be shot. If it had been smothered in armour like a flying tank, it would never have got off the ground. It was designed to absorb incoming fire; it practically invited it – a challenging concept to get your head around if you were sitting in the driving seat.
The Apache could withstand a direct hit from a 23-mm high-explosive incendiary round. The airframe’s entire skin, and the drive shaft that ran down its spine to the tail rotor, was constructed from thin alloy, so that a round could pass clean through the body without tearing a bloody great hole in it. Anything crucial to the aircraft’s survival had a backup: it had two engines, two sets of hydraulics and electrics, four computers, two sets of flying controls – and if they broke we could still fly with fly-by-wire sensors. It even had two pilots.
The gunship only had one rotor head and one set of rotor controls, but both were built from electro-slag-remelt, strong enough to stop a round from penetrating. Multiple rounds could pass straight through a rotor blade without impairing its capacity to generate lift.
The fuel tanks were even cleverer. The Apache had three and they all worked independently. They were made from layers of impregnated nylon and uncured rubber. If a bullet punctured the tank, the uncured rubber would react with the fuel to create a fast-hardening foam which would seal any large hole. The main gearbox couldn’t self-seal, but it didn’t need to; it could run dry of all oil and still turn the rotors long enough to get back to Bastion.
By far the most vulnerable bits of the Apache were the two pink, fleshy things in the cockpit – so the floor, the side and front panels and the back and sides of the seats were lined with Kevlar plates. Nothing smaller than an artillery shell would penetrate them. The armour-plated front windscreens could take.50 cal shots head on, but the enemy were armed with more than that now.
Since bullets mostly came from below us, we were only at threat from high mountains or when we turned sharply during a fight. That was when we pushed our backs hard into the Kevlar shell and hoped for the best.
In case the unthinkable did happen, our cockpits were separated by a two-inch-thick glass blast fragmentation shield and had their own air-conditioning systems. If an RPG whipped into the front compartment, it could remove the gunner, all his electronics, his controls and even his seat, and the back-seater could still fly on. He wouldn’t even smell the burning.
But every time we walked out to the aircraft no one needed to remind us of what we called ‘the golden shot’; even the best pilots were not immune to a lucky round, or sheer bad luck. Otherwise, eight highly skilled US Apache crews would not have been shot down over Iraq.
It was a twenty-minute flight to Apocalypse Now Zad, as the marines had christened it. Now Zad was built in the shape of a triangle, with its flat-roofed, mostly single-storey, buildings hemmed in by towering rock faces on all three sides. It was an awesome sight; a geographer’s paradise. The southernmost tip of the Hindu Kush sprang up along its western edge. Its eastern boundary consisted of a series of interwoven ridgelines that ran south to north. And the base of the triangle, to the south, was a stand-alone range, five kilometres long and 400 metres tall at its peak.
We knew the Dushka gunner was in the south-east of the town, so we planned to split up as we approached the southern ridgeline. Charlotte and Darwin would wait on the desert side, nose forward, high enough to get a visual on the town. Trigger and I would bear right through a 300-metre-wide crevasse, bringing us immediately over the gunner’s territory. The Boss would target spot for the Dushka gunner, moving between his monocle and his Night Vision Goggles – and leave the flying to me.
I thought through how I was going to do it on the flight up. It would take the Dushka gunner’s rounds four seconds to reach us, up at 4,000 feet, so he needed to predict where we’d be four seconds after he pulled the trigger. I had a reaction time of perhaps half a second from the moment I saw tracer, or heard the Boss’s or the wingman’s shout. Ugly Five One was a weighty beast and it would take a second to overcome its inertia and change direction. So that gave me two and a half seconds, maximum, to take evasive action. This was going to be a penalty shoot-out, Apache-style – except that I wanted to stay as far as possible from the ball. Two and a half seconds didn’t feel like very long. And all those clever statistics suddenly didn’t add up to a hill of beans. I felt like I was flying an eggshell.
I tried to think through what I’d do if we were hit. We’d lose some systems for sure. I hoped it wouldn’t sever a hydraulic line. Hydraulic fluid was the most flammable thing on the aircraft, and so highly pressurised it would go off like a volcano. The next round would ignite it and we’d turn into one big fireball. Even the heat from the engines could set it off. Jesus, what then?
I realised I was fingering the fire extinguisher buttons top left of the dash. Stop it… I’d disappear up my own arse if I carried on like this. I wrenched myself away from the endless succession of what ifs… Charlotte and Darwin had the lead.
‘Five Three, five klicks from the crevasse now,’ Darwin said. ‘We’ll start to break off left and cover you through the gap. Good luck guys.’
They banked, and the crevasse opened up in front of us. Ninety seconds and we’d be through it. Gripping the cyclic and collective, my hands were so clammy I could feel them sticking to the insides of my gloves. I actioned the gun, moving my head side to side to check it was still slaved to my eye. It was. I flipped the trigger guard and rested my finger on the red button. A breath away from firing.
‘Thirty seconds, Boss.’
I thrust my spine as hard as I could into the Kevlar seat, and buried my arse as deep into the foam pad as it would go. I took a deep breath.
‘Copied. Just keep her belly flat as a pancake…’
It was the fourth time Trigger had said it since we’d launched, but the closer we came to the enemy the more vulnerable we felt. I knew that, and the Boss knew I knew. His palms must have started to sweat as well.