“Sacco came to Exhibition because of this threat. He was an old friend of my Uncle Sasha, but he came because of the Dark Ones. I didn’t know him very well, but he came up to talk to me, like he knew what I had done back then. It was almost like blackmail, and I told him that secret that nobody else ever knew about the door at the Gardens. He was determined to go up there and see for himself. Then he made me promise to go to Polis and deliver his message, the cartridge, if he didn’t make it back… and he didn’t.” Sergio stared at her, hoping she would finally say something; wondering if it was clear to her that he had also been somewhat close to Sacco, wondering if she would blame him for his disappearance and apparent death.
Marco said nothing, instead covering her surprised open mouth with both hands, sending a twinge of humiliation through Sergio’s heart.
“I-I don’t know… what to say.” Marco mumbled through her fingers, her eyes glassed over, unblinking.
For a long time it was silent; Sergio was finally somewhat composed and Marco had completely internalized her dialogue, taking her time absorbing this new history. Sergio waited, counting his heart beats with the seconds that passed, desperately hoping that she wasn’t going to simply get up and leave and never speak to him again. He wouldn’t blame her if she did, he felt absolutely despicable.
“If I could have another life and start all over again… do things differently—” He began to mutter incomprehensibly.
“No. We have to live with the way things are. So, who knows what really happened to him up there. He’s gone now.” Marco let her hands fall into her lap and spoke quietly, not moving or even looking at him.
“I’m sorry.” Sergio leaned over, wanting to take her hand as she had taken his in his fitful awakening, but didn’t want to assume that she was ready to accept the gesture just now. But saying those words suddenly lifted a very heavy weight from his chest. He took a deep breath, amazed at the new sensation of clarity.
Several minutes passed in silence before he noticed that she hadn’t spoken a word in response to his apology, as he had been wrapped up in the pleasurable feeling that his honesty had uncovered. He watched her as she rolled the dulled brass cartridge between her fingers, tears falling silently down her pale pink cheeks. The sight of her inner turmoil bubbling over became too much to bear, nearly reversing the moment of relief he experienced a few seconds ago. He couldn’t hold back his burning curiosity any longer, he had to ask, he had to know – conversational formalities be damned.
“Were you and Sacco… in love?” He asked timidly, knowing how invasive his question was.
Marco looked over at him with pleading and sorrowful eyes, still holding her cartridge tight in one fist. The absolute melancholy she expressed jumped into him when their eyes met, as if there was a direct connection between them.
“Such things weren’t of interest to him, but maybe you could call it that. He really saved me. He taught me how to survive in this hostile world, how to think about it.” She spoke slowly and quietly, as if choosing her words very carefully, her eyes still on the floor. “Yes, we were…” Her voice faded even though it sounded like she intended to continue, perhaps even she didn’t really know, but Sergio thought he understood what was left hanging in silence.
Sergio wasn’t entirely surprised; he was somewhat relieved to hear her finally explain it. It revealed a lot about how she had acted and the things she had said when speaking about Sacco. Nearly everything she had done was in pursuit of him, of finding out what had happened to him.
“I’m sorry.” Sergio said again in a low tone; it didn’t feel nearly as fulfilling as the first time he’d said it. He fully understood now just how much he had altered her life. “I wish—”
“Things happen for a reason.” She interjected; her tone of voice turned sharp and serious and she stared directly at him. “Everything happens in succession. The two of us, here, now, and talking about this – it is fate. The universe has brought us together for a purpose.”
“What purpose?” Sergio raised an eyebrow, watching her carefully as she moved back to sit on her cot.
“That remains to be seen.” She adjusted herself to sit on her cot and pressed her hands together between her knees tensely. “I don’t think our alliance will come to an end upon reaching Polis. In fact, I may be there for a while.”
Sergio wasn’t quite sure how to interpret that news. It’s not as if he hoped she would disappear from his life once they had returned to Polis, but at the same time he couldn’t imagine her leaving her position in charge of Avtozavodskaya. It would also be difficult to explain to her that he would have to continue on to D6 and it was unlikely that she would be allowed to accompany him there.
“How long? What for?” He blurted, silently kicking himself for being so nosy.
“I’m not sure for how long… I don’t even know if they know anything about me, if he ever told them who I am. He kept it a secret from everyone – Sacco made me promise that if anything happened to him that I should speak with the Colonel. It was very important to him.” Marco leaned forward as she talked, and Sergio soaked in her words like a dry sponge in a bowl of water. “I’m not just escorting you back for fun, he wanted me to go, understand?”
Sergio could only nod his head in response, tentatively lying down on his side. Marco did the same, lying on her back with her hands stacked on her chest, staring at the ceiling of the tent deep in thought.
“We will get there, I promise, I will get you to Vera myself.” He mumbled as he pulled the stiff wool blanket over himself. He hoped he would be able to sleep peacefully now that he had gotten that unbelievable weight to lift from his chest. Reaching up, he began to turn the light out. “Thank you, for listening. Goodnight.”
“Sleep well, now, Sergio.” She said quietly as she closed her eyes and pulled her own blanket over herself.
The pair awoke to the deep metallic sound of a bell being rung several times throughout the station. Sergio figured it must be a bell to wake the workers for the day, or to signal the change of a shift. It could even be to announce the opening of the passage to Lubyanka and the Red Line, hopefully the line was short. Sitting up and stretching out her arms, Marco gave a yawn.
“Good morning.” Marco looked over at him with a hopeful smile, her melancholy absent.
“Good morning.” He confirmed with half a smile, as he sat up and reached for his jacket. Nightmares hadn’t plagued him again that night, on the contrary he thought he remembered dreaming something pleasant but couldn’t remember what. “What’s the plan?”
“You can put on one uniform or the other; I’m not sure how the Reds treat Hunters these days. In any case, put your weapons into your bag, they will probably search us but at least we won’t be suspicious carrying them in the open.” She proceeded to get dressed in her own uniform, quickly donning her gray overshirt and adjusting the placement of her armored vest before lacing it up tightly.
Sergio opened the flap of his rucksack and reached for his blue Hunter uniform. He longed to put it on with his black vest and stroll proudly through the Red Line with his new identity, but took a long moment to weigh the possibility that they might restrict him from travel or worse. If he continued to wear the gray and green outfit that he had been given by Marco then perhaps the Reds would just see them as simple travelers passing through and not read into their appearance. Then again, if they were to search his things and find his real uniform hidden away, what would they suspect about him then?
“I’m going to see if the checkpoint is open and get some fresh water, give you some time to get dressed.” Marco removed a slightly dented metal canteen from a pocket in the front of her rucksack and slipped her boots on without tying them. She left the tent and closed the flap behind her.