Joey grimaced. “I’d have to take a number. Besides that, this isn’t something I can talk to my mom about. She’d freak.”
“Then talk to me.”
“I can’t.”
Jenny sighed. “Then don’t talk to me.”
“I’m not trying to make you mad.”
“I’m not getting mad.”
Joey felt even more guilt. “I’m messing this up.”
“Messing what up?”
“I just came down here to spend some time with you. I just… wanted to be with you.” Joey watched her, wondering how she was going to take that.
“I’m glad you did. It gets lonely around here. The nurses all mean well, but being here doesn’t even come close to normal.”
“I don’t think anything is normal anymore.” Joey felt the solid warmth of her hand in his. It felt good. “I’m scared that it never will be again.”
“Me too.”
“My mom’s been talking a lot lately about the Bible. About the end times. I gotta tell you, it’s freaking me out. I mean, Mom always had an interest in church. We didn’t always go, and she didn’t always agree with whatever the pastor was saying, but it was there. Like she knew we were supposed to go. But I didn’t really get anything out of it. I don’t think she did either.”
“I think,” Jenny said, “that if your mom is right, that’s exactly why we were left behind. We didn’t try harder to understand what God had planned for us. I know I didn’t. If I thought about God, it was generally when my dad went on a binge or got hurt or got sick. When I couldn’t take care of him, I asked God to do it for me. I don’t think that’s really a relationship. I mean, if you had a friend who constantly just asked you for things, and all you did was give, you wouldn’t think you had a very good friendship, would you?”
“No.” Guilt ate at Joey. What Jenny was describing wasn’t just his relationship with God. It was a lot like the relationship he’d had lately with his mom and Goose.
“I think that’s what it’s about,” Jenny said. “Your mom says there’s going to be seven more years that we can exist on this world before God comes back. During that time, we’re supposed to figure out our relationship with Him, find ways to get closer to Him.”
“Yeah. But that’s hard.”
“What?”
“Believing God really cares. If He really cared about me, about having a relationship with me, I wouldn’t be in all the trouble I’m in now.” Too late, Joey realized he’d said more than he’d intended to.
“What trouble?” Jenny asked.
He tried not to tell her. He wanted to hold back and be strong. More than that, he was afraid that once he told her, Jenny would feel compelled to tell someone else. The police. Or his mother.
Instead, when he finished, while he wiped the tears from his face and felt ashamed and guilty and scared, Jenny just sat there. She didn’t look at him and she didn’t say a word.
Finally she asked, “What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know.” His voice was thin and hoarse.
“You said they came looking for you?”
“Yeah. They’re at the post.”
“Are they looking for you now?”
“I don’t know.” Joey resisted the impulse to shrug. “Maybe they came there because they heard the fort was offering shelter to kids. Maybe Bones spotting me was just bad luck. I seem to have a lot of that lately.”
Jenny squeezed his hand. “You can’t just ignore them. They’re not going to go away. Not if they’re afraid you’re going to tell on them.”
“I know.”
“You could go to the police.”
“They’d lock me up, Jenny. According to the law, I’m as guilty of murdering that man as Zero is. He made us all murderers when he pulled that trigger.” Joey shook his head. “I couldn’t handle being locked up. I’d rather kill myself.”
“Don’t talk like that.”
“It’s true,” he whispered. “And maybe that’s how this is supposed to work out.”
“I don’t believe that.”
Jenny’s words made Joey feel hopeful. For just a moment. Then reality set in again. She would tell him that. She had to. It’s what he would have told her if their roles had been reversed.
“There’s something else,” Joey said. “I heard Mom’s trying to fix it so that the families of the soldiers in Turkey can go over there.”
“Why?”
“So we can be together. And so we can help them. At least until the government decides to bring them home.”
“Do you think she’s going to be able to make that happen?”
“Yeah, I think so. A lot of people at the fort look up to Mom these days.”
“Are you going?”
“It would give me a chance to get away from all of this,” Joey answered. “I could get away from Zero and the rest of those guys.”
Jenny was quiet for a time. “I think,” she said finally, “that might be the best thing you could do.”
“I know.” Joey focused on her. “Mom could arrange it so you could come with us.”
Jenny shook her head.
Joey squeezed her hand. “Please. I really want you to go.”
“I can’t.” Her voice sounded dry and husky, as if she was about to cry. “I’ve got to stay here. With my dad. He needs me.”
Silently Joey cursed his bad luck. He leaned back against the wall and stared at the darkened ceiling. “I can’t stay,” he whispered. “I just wanted you to understand.”
“And I can’t go,” she replied. “I hope you understand.”
Joey nodded.
“If things were different,” Jenny said, “I’d go.”
“If they were, I’d stay.”
“But they’re not,” she said.
Joey sat there and tried to think of something to say. The attraction he’d initially felt for Jenny had changed. It was no longer purely physical, but now it was stronger than anything he’d ever felt before. And he was being forced to walk away from her. It wasn’t fair.
“When your mom goes,” Jenny said, “you need to go with her. I don’t want you to get hurt. And your mom will need you. Those soldiers can use whatever help you can give.”
“I know.” Joey sat there quietly and held her hand. He didn’t want to think about leaving her. But he knew he couldn’t stay. He felt helpless and trapped.
And alone. Even though Jenny was sitting next to him, he was pretty certain she felt the same way. It was incredibly lousy.
30
Outside Harran
Sanliurfa Province, Turkey
Local Time 0826 Hours
Pain filled Marcus Allen’s world. He opened his eyes and stared up at the blinding sun. Automatically, after listening and hearing no movement around him, he felt for his Oakleys, but they weren’t there. He cursed the pain and the fact that the sunglasses were probably broken. The expense didn’t bother him so much as the effort it had taken to get them.
He rolled onto his side and located the Galil rifle he carried as his lead weapon. The RPG was nowhere to be seen. He dragged himself to his feet and walked over to the wrecked Land Rover, which sat upside down.
Weaver was just rousing, dangling from the seat belt that had kept him locked in. He groaned as he felt his chest.
“Anything broken?” Allen asked.
“No, but there was definitely no lack of trying.”
Kosheib cut himself free of his jammed seat restraints with a combat knife. “Collins is dead.” He jerked a thumb at the man on his right.
Kneeling, Allen peered through the passenger window. All the glass had broken out. Collins, in his forties and a habitual smoker, hung upside down with his arms over his head like he was involved in a bank holdup. A lit cigarette singed his dead lips.
“What happened?” Allen asked.
“Broken neck.” Kosheib grabbed the dead man’s hair and jerked his head to one side. It lay almost on his shoulder, obviously disconnected. Without another word, the Sudanese released the dead man and kicked the passenger door open with a screech.
“What about Heinrich?” Allen asked.
“I’m alive,” the young German killer answered calmly. “Just waiting for the opportunity to get out.” He was thin and had a mop of unruly black hair. Even on his best days he reminded Allen of a weasel.