Maybe they would’ve found a way to kill us anyway.
I didn’t know and it really didn’t matter. This was where we were now, and things were screwed up. While all the knowledge of the Apollyons was floating around in my head, none of it was useful when it came to fixing this.
Laadan appeared in the doorway, dressed in slacks and a white sweater today. Her hair was perfectly coifed, in spite of the fact the world had donned its crazy pants. The woman was awe-inspiring.
She glanced at Aiden and smiled. “Care to join me for some coffee?”
How could I ever turn down caffeine? Nodding, I started out of the room, but backtracked to where Aiden rested and fixed the quilt I’d draped over him a few hours ago. The man must have been exhausted, because he didn’t wake up, which was rare.
I followed Laadan into the kitchen and watched her make quick work of the coffee. With our steaming cups in hand, we went into the sunroom for the privacy it offered. We sat on the window seat, our legs tucked toward each other. Finally, we were going to talk about my father, and I had no idea what was going to come out of her mouth.
I was even a little scared, stupid and weak as that was, and my stomach was flipping all over the place. I knew nothing of my father, only discovering that he was a half-blood and alive a few months ago.
Laadan took a sip of her coffee and blinked several times. “First, I want to apologize for what happened to you at the Council. I—”
“You don’t have to apologize. That wasn’t your fault.” And it wasn’t. Laadan had been compelled to give me the Brew—like a suped-up roofie of the gods—by one of Telly’s Guards, probably the one I’d killed…
“What they tried to do to you was horrid.” Tears filled her eyes, shining like crystals. “I wish—I wish I had known. I am so sorry—”
“Laadan, seriously, you don’t have to apologize. I know you would never willingly do something like that. And I know you don’t remember who did it. It’s okay.” And gods, I did not want to talk about that night. Beside the fact that it made me think about the Guard I’d killed, if I hadn’t ended up puking my guts out, Seth and I… we would’ve done it, and after everything now, I don’t think I’d ever get over that.
I sat my coffee on the small wicker table as my stomach roiled. “I want to know about my dad.”
A remarkable change occurred in Laadan. A different kind of sheen misted in her eyes. She took another drink, her pointer finger tapping off the glass. The anticipation was killing me.
“Your father is a… an incredible man, Alex. You should know that above all else.”
My breath fell short. “I know.” I did know, because he had to be to break the rules and love my mother. “The Elixir didn’t work on my father, did it?”
Laadan smiled wistfully. “Your father—Alexander—well, he always had a strong will, much like you. The Elixir has taken its toll on him, but he never completely fell to the compulsion. I do not know how, but he resisted it from the beginning.”
I clasped my hands together. “I think I saw him on the stairs once, and then toward the end, during the attack. He was fighting…”
“You did see him.” Her gaze moved to the window behind us. Early-morning sunlight sliced over the frost-covered glass. “He was in the library the night we spoke of your mother and him.”
I could only stare. I knew someone had been in there. “The books that fell over—that was him?”
She nodded.
How many times had I been close to the man—to my father—without knowing? A hurricane of disappointment swelled inside me. “And… and he knows I’m his daughter?”
“Yes, he knows.” She reached out with her free hand, gently touching the skin of my face, near a bruise that was already starting to heal. “He would recognize you anywhere. You look so much like your mother.”
That bite of sadness strengthened and I pulled back. “Then why didn’t he talk to me?”
Laadan looked away, her chin lowering.
“I tried talking to him, Laadan. In the stairwell, but he just… stared at me. And why didn’t he come up to me in the library? I know he couldn’t just announce who he was, but why…” My throat tightened. “Why didn’t he want to talk to me, at least?”
Her head snapped toward me. “Oh, honey, he wanted to talk to you more than anything, but it’s not that simple.”
“Seems simple to me. You open your mouth and talk.” I struggled to sit still. Had he heard of my escapades? Gods know rumors of my problems with authority had traveled far and wide. Had he been embarrassed as a trained Sentinel? Worse yet, as a father? “I just don’t understand.”
She took a breath. “He was close to you a lot when you were there and you didn’t know, but it was also very dangerous for him to be seen around you. The truth of what he is, what your mother was, and what you are, was too much of a risk. You already had too many eyes on you.”
The conversation Seth and I had overheard came back to me. We already have one here. Anger sparked and was quick to ignite a fire inside me. Marcus… Marcus had known, and now that it was all out in the open, we were so going to talk about that.
“What I told you in the library that night? That he would be proud of you because of who you have become and not what you will become?” She clasped my fisted hand in her gentle grip. “That is the truth. From the moment you arrived back at the Covenant last summer, I did my best to keep him up-to-date on how you were. Your mother… she didn’t know what had happened to him and Alexander wanted it that way. In a way, death was easier than the truth.”
I blinked away sudden tears and wanted to pull my hand free, but like always, Laadan’s calming nature was disarming.
“Things are more complicated than you realize, Alex. He couldn’t talk to you.”
Shaking my head, I tried and failed to understand that. I’d think that a father would’ve done anything to speak to his daughter just once.
Laadan squeezed my hands and let go. “The Masters always suspected that your father was different, and that perhaps he was influencing other servants. They treated him quite cruelly. He cannot talk to you, Alex. They removed half his tongue.”
I balked at what she said. I’d heard her wrong. There were no other options. “No. I saw him talking with another servant in the dining hall.”
She shook her head sadly. “If anything, you saw a servant talking tohim.”
Forcing myself to remember the morning after I’d been slipped the Brew more clearly, I tried to see my father and the younger servant. Things had looked tense and his back had been to me most of the time. I’d assumed that he’d been talking by the reaction of the other servant.
I hadn’tseen him talk.
Shooting to my feet, I heard Laadan’s little gasp of surprise. Even I was a little shocked by how fast I moved. The marks of the Apollyon appeared on my skin and tingled as they glided in various directions. She couldn’t see them, but some innate sense coaxed her to scoot back.
“They cut out his tongue?” Power surged over my skin.
“Yes.”
That was it. I was going to take out the Council and every freaking Master on this planet. Bad, dangerous thoughts, but gods, how could they do something like that?
“How can I be so surprised?” I said out loud, and then laughed madly. “How am I surprised by this, Laadan?”
There was no answer.
Turning away, I struggled to control my fury. Already I could hear the branches slapping along the side of the cabin. Knowing my luck, I’d probably cause an earthquake. Controlling the elements was easy, but I’d learned through the Awakening that my emotions affected them, made them violent and unpredictable.
As did the amount of aether, the essence of the gods, that coursed through my veins.
Our society had always been cruel to the half-bloods. Pures had always taken a role of dominance, and the things that I knew went on behind the closed doors of some of the pures—things no one talked about, things I wanted to rage about—happened every day. And like every other half, I’d been in a subservient role my entire life. I’d grown up being taught to accept these things, because there was no other choice for me, or for any other half. Even after living in the mortal world, I’d come back into the fold, barely missing a step when I’d seen the servants.