“You need to stay alive.”
Okay, so not what I was expecting. “I’m not planning to off myself, Deacon.”
“No, but you have that look of someone who is facing down death, practically even expects it.” Deacon paused and his gaze went to the bare rafters in the ceiling. “I know what that looks like. I saw it in the mirror for a long time.”
My mouth opened, but I couldn’t find any words.
He laughed dryly. “I hated living after seeing what’d happened to my parents and those other people. If it hadn’t been for Aiden, I wouldn’t have survived. I shouldn’t have survived. Neither should he.” He gave a lopsided shrug. “I guess I had a mad case of survivor’s guilt or something lame like that. Every time I drank or got high, I secretly hoped that I would overdo it, you know?”
As his words sank in, my chest ached. I reached over, placing my hand on his arm. “Deacon…”
“Ah, I’m okay now. I think I am, at least. But you know why I never really went there?” Deacon turned his head toward me and I knew what he meant. “I wasn’t scared of death, but I was scared of what me dying would do to him.”
Deacon nodded at the bathroom door and my gaze followed his. I couldn’t see Aiden and I knew he couldn’t hear us, but my heart was pounding like I’d just run up a thousand steps.
“He wouldn’t get past losing you,” I said, swallowing hard. “He’s so strong, but…”
“It would kill him. I know. Losing you would kill him.”
A cold chill washed over me, like I’d stepped into a freezer. Sitting up swiftly, I tugged my hair over one shoulder. “Why are you telling me this?”
“You’ve had that same look ever since you came back from the Underworld.” There was a pause, and he looked at me with all the seriousness no one ever gave him credit for, and in that moment he reminded me so much of Aiden. “Whatever you do, don’t break my brother’s heart. You are his world. And if you leave it, it will destroy him.”
CHAPTER 30
Our Hummer was the party car—the cool one. Or at least that’s what I believed. Between Luke and Deacon, the ten-hour drive to the wilds of South Dakota wasn’t turning out to be that bad. Poor Marcus looked like he wanted to duct tape the two boys’ mouths shut after two hours of their nonstop rundown of the last season of Supernatural. I wasn’t complaining. Then, Luke moved on to this new show about thrones and dragons, which he tried to explain to Aiden. Considering that Aiden was a fan of old black-and-white TV shows, Luke wasn’t getting very far.
Marcus looked like he had a headache, which mirrored how I felt. It had nothing to do with the boys’ chatter or the ridiculous—but hilarious—car games they insisted on playing. And I was pretty sure that, if Deacon leaned between the seats and punched Aiden on the arm one more time he saw a Beetle, Aiden was going to the pull the car over and strangle him.
I was also sure Marcus would hold Deacon down. The man had to have a wicked bruise on his leg from the last punch Deacon had delivered.
But after the fourth hour, restlessness set in. Minutes from turning into the kid the parent threatens to turn the car around on, I tried to get some rest. It wasn’t like the scenery was much to look at. Lots of fields. Then lots of hills. Then lots of trees. Boredom itched at my skin as I stared at the wards, drawn in Titan blood throughout the car, that kept the gods from sensing me. But the fact that I was stuck in the vehicle for the foreseeable future wasn’t the worst part. The steadily increasing throbbing in my temples sent a nervous rush through my system.
Seth was there, pecking away, waiting for that moment he could pop in and have a chat. Part of me almost welcomed it, because it would be something to do, but that was so stupid. Talking with Seth wouldn’t help anything. He was on one side of the fence and I was clear on the other side.
I didn’t want to think at all.
Twisting in the seat, my eyes met my uncle’s. I smiled as he nodded at Deacon. The pure had finally passed out, with his cheek plastered against the window. Beside him, Luke was staring out the window, jaw locked down tight.
Not wanting to wake the talkative beast, I said nothing and turned back around. My booted foot slid over the sickle blade resting on the floor. We were just as stocked and well-armed as we’d been when we drove to Kansas.
I settled in the seat, carefully stretching out my legs when I really wanted to flail about. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Aiden’s amused grin. I made a face at him and he laughed softly.
Time slowed down to a crawl. Every time I looked at the clock on the dashboard I would’ve sworn two hours had gone by, but it was only twenty minutes later. When we hit the halfway point, Solos called Aiden. They needed to get gas.
Aiden wasn’t thrilled about it. “We’re too close to Minneapolis.”
In other words, we were too close to a heavily populated area. Nearly every major city in the U.S. had communities of pures on the outskirts. Where there were pures, there were daimons. And that also meant there would be Sentinels and Guards—those who might be working with Lucian.
But we didn’t have any choice. Both vehicles were running low on gas, and it was either stop now or run out of gas in the middle of nowhere and get eaten by wild coyotes and bears.
We pulled into a decent-sized travel area and I immediately reached for the door handle.
“I prefer you’d stay in the car,” Aiden said, unbuckling.
I frowned. “Why? I have the talisman.”
“I know.” He shot me look. “But knowing our luck, someone will recognize you.”
“But I have to use the bathroom.”
“Hold it,” Luke said, opening the car door. “I’ll get you something to snack on, and some water—lots of water.”
I glared at him. “That’s so wrong.”
Everyone but me rushed from the Hummer and I flung myself back against the seat, folding my arms. I got that we didn’t need another god smackdown in the middle of the gas station, but damn…
Aiden headed toward the other Hummer while Marcus pumped gas. Here I was, the freaking Apollyon, and I couldn’t even go inside to get a bag of beef jerky by myself. Geez.
A few moments later, Aiden came around to my side of the car. I debated leaving the window up, but I rolled it down. He leaned in, resting on his forearms.
“Hey,” he said, grinning.
I knew I was pouting, but I couldn’t feel my butt.
“Olivia and Lea are checking out the bathroom. Looks like it’s outside and around the back.”
“Oh, thank the gods.” I slumped in my seat.
His grin spread on one side. “I’ll make sure Luke gets you something other than water.”
“You’re the best.” I popped forward and kissed him quickly. “I mean it.”
On his way past us, Marcus’ eyes narrowed. “I feel like I’m going to need to separate you two.”
Aiden’s cheeks flushed as he pulled back and cleared his throat.
Marcus stopped beside him, folding his arms. “Especially the sleeping arrangements. And I’m not naïve enough to—”
“Whoa!” I cut in. “Not a topic that I’m willing to delve into.”
Marcus gave me a bland look. “You are my niece and I’m your guardian.”
“I’m eighteen.”
“And you’re still too—”
“Olivia! Bathroom break!” I threw open the door, nearly knocking Marcus over. Shooting my uncle a quick grin, I darted around him.
Aiden grabbed my arm. “Be careful.”
“Of course. Other than dying of fumes and wanting to hurl, it’s just a public restroom.”
He still looked like he wanted to escort me in there, but Marcus was also eyeing Aiden like he wanted to punch him again. Aiden let go and I joined the girls at the sidewalk.