“I’m sorry, let’s forget this and share a peaceful dinner,” he proposed.
She forced a contorted smile on her face and stood up from the bed, then walked into the dining room. Flavius followed in her wake, avoiding saying anything else that could upset her further. After dinner, he retired in his working room, and Claudia went out to the garden.
The effect she’d obtained from blinding Saul was not what she had anticipated. He was not living with them anymore, and Flavius was not spending his nights with him, nor with her. Evidently, he did not enjoy spending time, night or day, in her company. Her frustration grew as the days passed, mostly because she knew that he engaged in a hopeless, yet frantic search for the person who ruined his slave. What was she supposed to do to get Saul out of Flavius’ thoughts, and out of her life forever?
Would it really have been best if she’d killed him? She had gone to all that trouble of plotting the kidnapping and, paying two men to help her with Saul, when all she had to do was kill him.
She shook her head and held herself with her arms. She was sure that if she had killed Saul, her husband would have gotten depressed and maybe killed himself from the pain of losing his precious Saul.
Disgust and hate fueled her rage. She was the only one Flavius should have loved and desired, and yet he admitted that he would never be able to love her. What were all her efforts for? Should she have killed her husband instead? Should she ask for a divorce?
What am I supposed to do? Everything I did was wrong.
They should never have gotten married; however, she had been in love with Flavius since childhood. Nevertheless, what she did must remain a secret from everybody.
She was glad that Saul kept his mouth shut and hadn’t revealed the real nature of his accident. He was able, at least, to obey. Maybe he’d finally learned to keep his place as a slave should, but she preferred to have him far from her life. No matter whether Flavius was still ignoring her, the most important thing was that there wasn’t anybody between them.
She stood up from the garden bench as the sun started to set. In a couple of hours, there wouldn’t be any useful light. She collected her work and dismissed all the slaves who were with her, then, exhausted by the long day, she walked to the bedroom. Her eyes turned for the last time to the room where Flavius worked. She would have liked to go in and spend time with him, but she knew that only she would have enjoyed it. She shook her head and walked away, followed by the slaves who would prepare her for the night.
She lay down on the bed, looking at the empty place beside her and, with a sorrowful sigh, closed her eyes.
Chapter 22.
It took several days for Marcus Tiberius to decide to speak with Saul about what to do with his son, so early one morning, he entered Saul’s room. He watched him sleeping and smiled as he realized how dear that peacefully sleeping youth was to him.
“Saul,” he called softly, shaking him lightly.
“Who…Master?” He opened his blind eyes.
“Yes, come with me. I need to talk to you,” Marcus Tiberius ordered, forgetting that Saul needed assistance dressing.
“Master…” His face flushed.
“Of course. I’ll call Cassandra to help you. When you are ready, come to my room.”
“What time is it?”
“A few hours before sunrise, but I could not wait for the day. I need to discuss a very important matter that is bothering my soul,” he replied, then left the room.
After Saul was dressed, Cassandra guided him into Marcus Tiberius’ room.
“What's bothering you, Master?”
“It is about Flavius. I told Flaminia the entire story. She will keep the secret, but she had the right to know it; she is your mistress and my wife. I don’t like to hide things from her.” He settled comfortably on the couch.
Saul nodded, wanting to know what the point of the entire story was.
“She believes that Flavius should know the truth about your accident. I am not yet convinced, but it seems that he won’t find any peace until he has a culprit in his hands. I still fear his reaction, but as Flaminia said, you are the only one who can reach his soul, bringing him to reason.”
Saul mused. “So you want me to tell him the truth about the accident and try to make him understand that revenge should be out of the question?”
“Precisely.”
“He will get upset with me about this lie.” Saul already feared Flavius’ reaction.
“You were following my orders, as you are doing now.”
In a lower voice, Saul said, “Of course, Master.” He was sure Flavius would become angry, but Saul could not disobey Marcus Tiberius’ orders. I am supposed to be by Flavius’ side as a lover and most of all, as a friend.
He knew his young Master trusted him more than any other person in the world and might view his withholding of information as a betrayal. He didn’t want to disappoint the Master he loved.
Saul straightened his shoulders. “He will never forgive me, and I can’t forgive myself for hiding something like that from him, but I will talk to him as you order.”
Marcus Tiberius nodded, satisfied. “Nothing bad will happen to you, Saul. Let me take care of it. You just do what I order and talk to Flavius.”
“Yes, Master.”
Because of Claudia’s threat, he agreed not to reveal the truth to Flavius, but now he realized how foolish that fear was. He should have told him without fearing anything or anybody, more than the disappointment of his Master.
As they walked out of the room, Cassandra said, “So, the time has come for you to be totally honest with Flavius,”
“I am terrified of his reaction,” he confessed, holding her hand.
“Saul, you had good reasons to hide from him what Claudia did to you. I know Flavius, and he will understand. Your only concern is to ensure he won’t take drastic actions. You know he might be impulsive and act in a way that he would regret for the rest of his life.”
Saul knew Cassandra spoke the truth. Claudia was the person to fear, not Flavius.
“I am afraid that you all expect too much from me. I am not sure I can do much of anything if Flavius loses his temper. When he is ready to listen, I can help but will he be ready after he knows the truth?”
She kissed his cheek and flashed a reassuring smile. “You will do what you can. This is what Marcus Tiberius expects from you. He knows it won’t be an easy task.”
“What time is it?” he asked as he waited for his doom.
Standing, she said, “It is soon the seventh hour of the day. We can eat if this will help you. Our Masters have already started their meal; there is no reason we shouldn’t have ours as well.”
“I guess you are right. It will distract me for a bit.”
As they walked through the garden toward the kitchen, he pulled her aside into his bedroom. “I have a better idea. No one can see us now, and our Masters are busy, “he whispered, then brushed her neck with his lips.
“I think I prefer your idea.” She kissed him, and they sank onto the bed.
Saul could not say what Flavius’ reaction would be. Perhaps he would take him back to his house to confront him with Claudia present. Eventually, he would kill him for his disloyalty, hiding the most important truth, or maybe Flavius would take him away from Rome to live somewhere else together. His imagination caressed the idea of going to live far away with his Master, but his love for Cassandra dimmed the vision to sepia tones.
He would miss her, body and her sweet kisses. Nothing compared with lying naked by her side, caressing her soft skin, feeling the warmth of her body, and her breath getting shallow.
Nothing compared with feeling the excitement growing with her until both of them were won over by the pleasure, and they lay in each other’s arms. Saul would have missed her too much, and wasn’t sure his Master would be enough to make up for the missing of his Cassandra.