I can’t shake the feeling that she resents me for some reason and that makes me resent her in turn although we’ve never met. Not a good start, antipathy is mutual most of the time. But I’m determined not to let her ruin my friendship with Natalie and Rupert. And now I’ll finally meet her at Will’s. Knowing that she’s stunning I want to look my best too. Stupid, I know, this isn’t some kind of contest, but I decide to buy something new to wear. Besides it’s my birthday on Sunday, so I’m allowed to treat myself.
Today is one of the afternoons when Natalie’s busy, probably meeting Ruth, so I decide to go shopping. I sulk a bit, well, not to her face, but secretly. Yes, I’m jealous of their friendship that seems to exclude me. That’s really not right because they’ve apparently been friends for ages. On top of this I’d have liked Natalie to come shopping with me, it’s always so much more fun with her, but I’m at a loose end this afternoon. Maybe it’s better this way, Natalie would only entice me into designer shops that are out of my league financially. Money’s not an issue for her, I can’t fathom why because she doesn’t do anything and she told me her father’s a teacher. Maybe she inherited it but I don’t want to pry.
Unfortunately my taste in clothes has changed as much as my life but I avoid shops like Miu Miu or McQueen, as sorely as I’m tempted. After a couple of hours I finally find something in Zara, a chocolate brown velvet suit that makes me look taller and somehow sophisticated. It’s not exactly cheap but I’ve withdrawn enough from my savings account and I simply can’t leave it in the shop. I’m thrilled that I’m suddenly a size smaller although I can’t imagine how that happened. If it’s what going out and eating nice food does for me, I won’t complain. For the first time in many years I like what I see in the mirror: my hair is longer and glossy, my skin is clear and my eyes shine. I look like somebody who’s enjoying life. Well, I do, don’t I? Even if I’d enjoy it more if Rupert would fall in love with me. I hope he’ll like this suit. I smile as I pay for it and rush out of the shop.
Whoops! “Oh, I’m sorry!” I cry as I run into a passer-by. I stumble back, trip over the step behind me and next thing I’m about to sprawl on the pavement. But a hand grabs my arm and rights me just in time. My nose is pressed to a black leather jacket and I’m aware of a faint citrusy smell.
“Whoa, watch out, Livia!” I’d have recognised this voice anywhere. Just my luck to bump into him of all people. I shiver involuntarily and take a careful step back.
“Cassius, I’m sorry, I didn’t see you,” I mumble like a moron and feel myself blush. His amused gaze rests on my face before travelling to my shopping bag.
“You bought something nice?” What’s that to him? And if it wasn’t nice I wouldn’t have bought it, would I? But calm down, Livia, maybe he’s just trying to make small talk.
“A trouser suit, I thought I could treat myself to something new once in a while.” I bite my lip: I sound like a petulant child. I really don’t have to justify myself. Cassius raises his dark brows.
“Probably for Will’s dinner party?” he asks. I nod and fidget with my coat trying to think of a way to escape without being rude. “I’m going for a drink, will you join me?” My eyes widen with shock. That was the last thing I expected. What should I say? As always in a crisis my wit deserts me and my voice seems to have gone too. His moss-green eyes bore into mine. Why on earth did he invite me to go with him? I’m sure he has better things to do than go for a drink with uninteresting me. I was under the impression that he didn’t even like me very much on the Nobu evening. “Livia?” he prompts me. Say that you have an appointment, anything! But the words won’t leave my mouth.
“I thought you lived in the Cotswolds,” I blurt instead. “Are you staying in town tonight?” Where did that come from? Cassius cocks his head and smiles and I notice how white his teeth are.
“I have a flat in town as well, but don’t worry, I won’t drag you there. I was just thinking of a glass of wine in the Spanish bar on Jermyn Street.” I flush scarlet. Couldn’t I have just declined the invitation and left while I still had the chance? Now it will sound childish and petulant if I refuse. I look at his mouth and hastily avert my eyes.
“Alright, but just for a few minutes.” What? Is that my voice? I’m such a push-over!
“Good, let’s go, it’s not far.” He grabs my elbow and is leading me down the street when a grey cat shoots out of a doorway and blocks our path.
“Another Kio!” I murmur and hope he hasn’t heard me. But Cassius reacts kind of weird. He glares at the cat and hisses, “Just go away!” As the cat starts weaving between my legs he stamps his foot dangerously near its paws. The cat hisses again but doesn’t give an inch.
“Piss off, I won’t harm her!” he growls and shoves the animal away with his foot.
“Leave it alone!” I shriek but in this instant the cat streaks away. “What do you all have against cats? Natalie doesn’t like them either.” To my surprise he starts to laugh, his disconcerting eyes boring into mine.
“I think you’re mistaken,” he grins. “But I simply can’t have someone meddling.” Huh? Meddling? What with? And how can a cat be meddlesome? I don’t have time to reply as he continues his way to the bar. What a brute! Now I want to have a drink with him even less although he really has got a rather nice behind in those tight black jeans. Quickly I tear my eyes away as he turns to me. “You coming?” Neither of us speaks the rest of the way until he steers me down a few steps into the bar. When he opens the door we’re met by loud music, I think it’s flamenco or something. The room is rather small and dimly lit and I’d never have wanted to come here alone. I’m under the impression that everyone is scrutinising me as Cassius takes my coat and I’m glad when we sit down at one of the small tables. OK, ten minutes, then I’ll leave.
Then Cassius takes over as he did at the Nobu and orders two glasses of Rioja and a plate of tapas without consulting me. My mood deteriorates further because I hate being patronised. My father used to do it and then Ralph. I pout and don’t say a word whilst we wait for our order. Let him do the running. But he doesn’t even make an attempt at conversation and seems totally at ease with the silence between us, unlike me. And he keeps looking at me until I squirm in my seat. Oh, why did I agree to that drink? I could have kissed the waiter when he finally arrives with our food and drinks, anything to ease the tension. Just drink the wine, Livia, and then go! Cassius however doesn’t even acknowledge my discomfort. Slowly he chooses a black olive, spears it with a toothpick and offers it to me. What is it with him and feeding people? I’m reminded of the seaweed and cringe.