“Livia, you mustn’t reject Ruth. She’s my friend too and I want all of us to get along.” I refrain from rolling my eyes at myself for my stupid remark. Now Natalie surely has the impression that I'm trying to intrude and somehow break up her friends. Not that I think I could, these five are far too close, as Cassius has already hinted. If I don’t fit in I’ll have to go and I really don’t want that to happen.
“I don’t reject her, I was just under the impression that she didn’t like me too much,” I try to explain.
“Ruth is always very reserved with people she doesn’t know,” Natalie explains hurriedly. “Everybody was talking about you, so maybe she took it the wrong way. Anyway, she’s been in a bad mood since New Year’s Eve.” I resolve to make more effort with Ruth in the future. Too much is at stake for me. If only I hadn’t fallen for Rupert, that complicates the situation even more. Then I realise that Natalie has not finished her explanation of the drawing.
“The sixth stain, who is it?” I prompt her curiously. Maybe her father or the mysterious owner of the castle Randolph.
“It’s you, who else?” she replies.
“Me?” I blurt, sounding like a moron. Natalie nods her head.
“I did say you belonged, didn’t I?” It’s like she’s talking in a foreign language. I’ve never belonged anywhere really. I look at her but she’s gazing into the flame again. She’s my friend, I have to trust her.
“You saved my life, you know?” I suddenly whisper. “It was a very bad time for me when we met. Everything was empty and dead, but now I’m fine again, no, I’m better than ever.” Natalie looks up, smiling at me.
“Well of course, you’re with people like you now.” I think she might be slightly drunk by now. Neither of us speaks for a long time. The minutes tick by and the piano keeps playing the same endless variations. I stretch, feeling very sleepy. Natalie does too, evidently, her eyes are closed and she looks like a Botticelli angel. The blue candle flame flickers and casts strange shadows on the walls. I should blow it out before I fall asleep too, but I’m too lazy to move. The six wine stains on the table are glowing but they’re no longer dark but silver. I blink and watch the lines turn into silver strands. The pattern somehow reminds me of the one on my mum’s key. And suddenly the sixth stain, mine, is no longer standing alone but is connected to another one. To the first one Natalie had drawn. I try to lean forward to take a closer look but my eyes close and I fall into a deep sleep.
Chapter 16
Ruth leaves the gallery shortly after Livia and Natalie went home and takes refuge in her flat. Until tonight she didn’t believe what Will had told her, that Livia was Rebecca’s daughter. She assumed it was one of Natalie’s tricks, her attempt to adapt the facts so they would fit her plans. But when Ruth had entered the gallery her heart had skipped a beat at the sight of Livia who was the spitting image of her mother. The same auburn locks, the same figure, only her eyes were a different colour. For many years Ruth had suppressed any thoughts of Rebecca and it had been easy because none of the family talked about her as the memory was too painful, especially for Augustus. So Ruth had succeeded in pushing it into the remotest corner of her consciousness, the place where she hid her darkest secrets. For many years she had been able to keep her destructive forces under control but the sight of Livia generated such an iciness within her that Ruth is afraid it will break forth and destroy not only someone else’s life but also her own. Then her family would cast her out.
Now Ruth sinks to her knees in the middle of the living room, overwhelmed by her feelings. Back then, more than sixty years ago, she had killed her lover because he had betrayed her. The hate within her had released her destructive forces. She had raced away in her car, skidding off the road. Randolph had rescued her from the burning wreck and nursed her back to health in his castle. Time and again Ruth had asked him why he’d saved her, why he hadn’t let her die after what she had done. “You are the Arash candidate we’re looking for,” had been his answer. “The camera obscura is showing your shadow.” Ruth still couldn’t fathom that anybody would want her even after his explanation about himself and his family. Ruth was born under the comet Ponns-Winnecke in 1927, with all the prerequisites of an Arash. But she was still different from Randolph, Will, Augustus and Rupert, because on 29th June, her birthday, there had been an eclipse of the sun together with the appearance of a comet. This is the source of Ruth’s dark forces, this has made her what she is now: a Dark Arash. Since then she’s been working hard to suppress this side of her soul. In all these years she’s succeeded, apart from one occasion, but then she hadn’t even used her dark forces, so it doesn’t really count, does it? She had just told one small lie, nothing much. And deliberately forgotten to observe some matters which she should have respected as an Arash. But she couldn’t have foreseen the consequences.
Unbidden, long-forgotten scenes appear in front of her eyes: Randolph’s castle, where Rebecca had spent just two days before he gave his consent for her to become an Arash. If Rebecca had agreed, she would have become one of them at the next lunar eclipse. Augustus, who was deeply in love with her, was overjoyed. Ruth didn’t have the heart to veto her. And why should she anyway? Rebecca had never harmed her in any way, on the contrary, she always tried to be friends with Ruth. But Ruth had been jealous. Until Rebecca’s shadow appeared in the camera obscura and Augustus found her, Ruth had been the only girl in her Arash family. She loved to be the centre of attention and was enchanted that Rupert had immediately fallen in love with her and remained her faithful admirer ever since. And then there was Cassius, dangerous Cassius, a Dark Arash like herself. Born under the comet Tewfik in May 1882 during an eclipse of the sun he could command the force of fire. Maybe this was his special attraction for her, because since her accident she’s always been afraid of fire. He was a fighter and killed numerous people at the Battle of Paardeberg during the second Boer War and Ruth still couldn’t comprehend that it was gentle, book-smart Will, born under the comet Klinkenberg-Chéseaux in 1744, who brought him into the family. Together with Rupert he’d helped him tame his dark forces. Since that time the three have been the best of friends.
It’s Cassius she’s always been really attracted to, yet Randolph warned her that a joining of two Dark Arash harbours great risks. The danger of activating the dark forces in the other is enormous. But Ruth was so sure that she has tamed her dark side once and for all that she decided to ignore Randolph’s warning. To her bafflement and mortification Cassius has never shown any interest in her as a woman. But Ruth is tenacious and she had time, eternities, being the only girl in the family. Until Augustus brought along Rebecca.
The night when Randolph invited Rebecca to join his family, she turned to Ruth for advice. Ruth herself was speechless that Rebecca hadn’t agreed on the spot but asked for time to consider. How could anyone need time to think in the face of this offer? But Rebecca had a small daughter of ten months. Ruth groans as she recalls their discussion. “Ruth, what on earth should I do?” Rebecca asked her. “I’d love nothing more than to join your Arash family, although there are some complications none of you know about yet, but what about my baby girl?” Rebecca looked at Ruth imploringly and one word would have been enough to reassure her. Rebecca would have been able to see Livia anytime, to protect her even. Children believe in miracles and supernatural phenomena. The situation wouldn’t have been easy but still manageable enough. But Ruth did not allay Rebecca’s qualms.