My neighbour to the left, the one who rescued me, remains quiet but the art dealer talks incessantly, I’m not really sure if to me or not, but he doesn’t seem to expect any answer. I’m not really comfortable and feel exceedingly out of place here. I still can’t see a thing. The darkness is like an electrical field, full of secret undercurrents and tensions. In the background there’s a shrill saxophone solo. Repeatedly I notice Ruth’s voice but can’t make out the words. Natalie’s laughter is the only thing that provides some kind of normality to the evening. Grumpily I poke around on my plate until I get hold of something and pop it in my mouth. It’s cool and slippery and my first reaction is to spit it out. Just in time I realise that it’s prosciutto filled with ricotta and doused in olive oil. Pretty good! With each forkful I’m getting bolder, Will has filled the plates with delicious small starters.
“A toast to the host!” someone shouts but I don’t even try to find my glass as I don’t want to get wine all over my dress.
“My glass is empty, who’s finished my wine?” Michael booms beside me, searching for a bottle. I'll kill him if he spills it on me! My neighbour to the left is still taciturn and I start to think it a bit rude. But maybe he’s as uncomfortable as I am. I haven’t heard Rupert’s and Cassius’ voices yet either. Maybe they aren’t here after all but according to Natalie Rupert was sure to come.
“Ugh, that’s revolting!” she screeches at this very moment and someone drops his glass in shock. Poor Will, the shards of glass will be everywhere! “It’s slimy and alive!” The sound of clattering cutlery stops abruptly, but Will laughs delightedly. “Don’t worry! I don’t know what Natalie’s eating right now but everything on your plates is definitely dead, I promise!”
“It was probably a lychee, I had one earlier,” somebody explains to a mortified Natalie. She sounds unusually nervous and tense tonight.
“And how are you enjoying this evening, Livia?” Ruth’s voice suddenly cuts through the noise. Conversation around the table ceases.
“It’s very interesting, thank you, and the food is delicious,” I manage to reply as I can’t think of anything witty to say.
“That doesn’t sound too enthusiastic, does it?” she counters snidely. “And how about your other senses? Have they already sharpened, like Will promised?” How could she have heard his words? Ruth laughs mockingly. I feel my anger rising, what does that cow have against me? I clear my throat awkwardly, aware that the whole table is listening. The bass in the background plays the same run again and again, only five notes. “No new experiences yet? The evening seems to be lost on you, what a pity!” she continues taunting me.
“No, not really,” I mumble and would have gladly disappeared. The next moment Ruth squeals loudly.
“Oops, sorry, I spilt my wine again,” Natalie says laconically and the voices around the table resume. I can’t help grinning and hoping that Ruth is dressed in something white. Then Will clears the table with amazing adeptness, always carefully closing the black cloth behind him. I have to make more of an effort, otherwise Will will never invite me again. As Michael seems pretty drunk to me, I turn to my left.
“How did you like the first course?” A bit stilted but better than nothing.
“I’m not hungry,” my neighbour murmurs but so quietly that I still can’t tell who it is. Well, no surprise there, I’m sure I don’t know many people here. “Don’t worry, you do know me.” What? Is he reading my thoughts? There is laughter in his voice and suddenly I realise who it is. A smile spreads over my face and I blush. The evening is definitely starting to look up.
“It’s you, Rupert, isn’t it?” I whisper, my heart already beating faster. Instead of answering he covers my hand with his. It’s large and strong, a bit rough, a hand used to manual work, a sculptor’s hand. Of course it’s him. My skin prickles where he touches it. Suddenly the evening enters into a new dimension. Rupert has kept a place for me, he wanted me to sit beside him – in the dark. Suddenly I feel very hot. Nobody’s able to watch us, neither Natalie’s laughing eyes, nor Ruth’s ice-cold ones. It’s as if we were alone, just more exciting because we can’t see each other. Anything could happen now! His thumb caresses my fingers and I squirm in my seat but am too shy to do anything myself. So I just wait, my heart beating fast, my hormones all over the place. Rupert doesn’t say anything but traces my hand with his fingers and threads them through mine. An electric current runs through my body, down to – well, everywhere. And then Will serves the next course and Rupert lets go of my hand. I bite my lip in disappointment. It simply has to happen tonight, this first kiss! But the moment is over. Something smells really good on the plate in front of me but I never had less desire to eat. Michael’s incessant jabbering irritates me now, I want to be alone with Rupert, focused only on him. Although we don’t touch I can feel his presence beside me and I nearly reach over to him but I don’t dare.
“That’s the best dish I’ve ever tasted!” Natalie now chirps and Will erupts into laughter.
“Ruth, you haven’t eaten a thing, you keep pushing everything onto my plate, and onto my trousers as well,” a male voice slurs. Evidently someone else has lost her appetite too.
“I hate squid,” she responds sharply. Picky as well, I think, smirking.
“Me too, why didn’t anyone tell me it was squid?” Natalie howls in a distressed voice. Now I can guess why Will was laughing so much.
“That’s what this evening’s about,” he says now. “To dispose of some prejudices, to enter new territory.” I smile. New territory, as if he knows what’s happening between Rupert and me. There’s no sound from him now, he’s obviously not eating either. Is he waiting for something? Should I make the next move? The tension inside me rises until I can stand it no longer. He did take the first step after all, and now probably isn’t sure if I want to continue. The moment I decide to feel for his hand Will starts to clear the plates again and I lean back in frustration. But then, when Will is gone, I feel his arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer. His warm hand glides slowly down my neck and I think I’m going to faint as his touch triggers the most exquisite sensations. Instinctively I lean into him. My heart beats so fast that it will probably explode very soon. I cock my head and put it on his shoulder, the darkness making me bold, at least by my standards. But obviously we’re not the only ones.
“Stop groping me!” Ruth shouts in a shrill voice, interrupted by drunken mumblings. Will clears his throat loudly.
“I think it’s time to change places before dessert,” he suggests tactfully. No! Not now! My heart skips a beat. I’ll surely die if I have to leave Rupert’s side now.
“Good idea!” some of the others agree and I hear the sound of scraping chairs. Bitterly disappointed I try to right myself but Rupert won’t let me go, increasing the pressure of his arm.
“Stay put, nobody will notice,” he breathes into my ear, sending shivers down my spine. Only when other guests pass our chairs and feel for a free one does he remove his arm. Just in time, as someone touches my shoulder and sits down on the chair to my right.