“I’ll tell you next time we meet and I’ll explain why I went home so early. What about tomorrow?” I suggest.
“No way, I have to know the secret now! At seven? Where? And I'll tell the others that you‘re alright.” Grinning like an idiot I nod although she can’t see me.
“Fine, but please don’t bring anyone, I want to talk to you alone. Let’s meet at the Spanish bar, that’s one of your favourite places, isn’t it?” There’s a moment of silence.
“Sure, see you there,” she giggles. “Now I’m really curious.”
I’m feeling much better now. I’ve not made a fool of myself in front of the others after all, just Cassius, but I’ll deal with him later. I’m going to confide in Natalie, she’ll know what to do about it and how to behave with him now. I’ve never had a best friend before and I’m looking forward to the evening. On the way out I glance at the rose in the glass. It hasn’t recovered.
Natalie is already waiting at a table when I enter the bar. I look around furtively to see if there’s anybody I know. Cassius, for instance, that would be too embarrassing. But no, only strangers, I’m in luck. “You’re pale, I bet you haven’t eaten,” Natalie greets me.
“Not yet, but let’s have dinner now,” I admit, not having eaten for two days. When I look at the menu I remember my evening here with Cassius and automatically order the same plate of tapas and the same wine. Natalie additionally orders some chicken stew.
“You must take better care of yourself,” she admonishes me.
“You might be right,” I admit and she looks at me curiously.
“So, what happened on Saturday?” she comes straight to the point. I want to spill the beans but that’s not so easy and I don’t really know where to start.
“I made a fool of myself.” Natalie shakes her head.
“I don’t believe it, that’s not like you. Rupert’s dealer Michael was quite smitten with you, he told me later. By the way, he passed out after the cheese course. I hope Rupert finds another dealer, I doubt this one will sell as many of his works.” I grin but I’m not really interested in other people, at least not right now.
“Mercifully this Michael didn’t realise what was going on on my other side,” I reply.
“Your other side?” Natalie looks up. “Who was sitting there?” So Cassius really didn’t tell them or she’s an amazing actress. I hesitate, do I really have to tell her? But I need her advice, it’s too important to handle the situation well.
“Well, right at the beginning, when I first entered the dark room a hand gripped mine and pulled me down on a chair. I was relieved to sit down, so I didn’t mind. He didn’t talk much, and when he did he whispered so I couldn’t recognise his voice.” I come to a halt, the story sounds like something that could happen to someone else but not to me. It’s just too unreal.
“How exciting!” Natalie gushes. “Was it this dishy work colleague of Will’s?” I had no clue that such a person had been there and shake my head.
“No, not him. Anyway, later on he held my hand and put his arm around my shoulders. When everyone changed places he held me back and we stayed put.” Natalie whistles loudly.
“Lucky you! Nothing that exciting ever happens to me!” Exciting, yes, it was exciting then, but now it’s only embarrassing. Nervously I crumble a piece of bread between my fingers and take a sip of wine.
“During dessert he kissed me,” I whisper and spear an olive so I don’t have to look at Natalie. There’s a long silence.
“You went along with it although you didn’t know who it was? That doesn’t sound like you at all,” Natalie finally observes. Her brown eyes are round and big with curiosity. “I have to give you credit for that! Still waters really do run deep.” I laugh out loud but soon I’m serious again.
“That’s the problem, I thought I knew who it was,” I cry. Whoops, all the other guests at the tables near us are looking at us. I cover my burning face with my hands. But Natalie wants to hear the rest.
“And who did you think he was?”
“Rupert,” I whisper.
“But Rupert wasn’t even there!” Natalie protests. I can’t answer, my heart is in my throat. Spoken out loud it’s all the more ghastly.
“Who’s Rupert?” asks a girl at the next table. That’s really none of her business, but I want to disappear into the ground all the same.
“My brother,” Natalie grins back at her.
“But I didn’t know he wasn’t there,” I whisper urgently. “On Friday you told me that the two of you were intending to drive to Will’s together.”
“Yes, but then this call came from a customer and it was too important for Rupert to decline,” she explains.
“Anyway, I thought it was him,” I continue, running my fingers through my hair. “His hands are strong too, a bit rough from working with metal and stone, or so I thought.” Saying it out loud these distinguishing marks do seem a bit flimsy. “What’s more I couldn’t hear his voice anywhere, so…”
“And who was it really?” Natalie interrupts impatiently. I stare down at my hands.
“You don’t want to know,” I whisper, embarrassed. And suddenly I don’t want to tell her either. I should have kept my mouth shut.
“Of course I do!” Natalie prompts me.
“You’ll laugh at me,” I glance at her, aware that I’m behaving childishly. Natalie just raises her eyebrows at me and waits. “You’ve told me yourself that he can have any girl he wants.” I just can’t say his name. But Natalie understands immediately and grins at me.
“Don’t tell me it was Cassius!” Mortified I nod, staring at my plate.
“Why couldn’t it have happened to me?” she shouts to the amusement of the people sitting at the other tables.
“Are you mad?” I hiss at her. “I thought I’d die when I realised my mistake.”
“Why? Is he such a bad kisser?” Natalie giggles. My mishap seems to amuse her greatly. Doesn’t she understand what it’s all about?
“Please, stop laughing, it’s serious!” I implore and she fights to keep a straight face. “I’m in love with your brother and I thought he was the one sitting beside me. Cassius took advantage of the situation. For him I’m just like any other girl that he can get and then dump again.” You can’t phrase it any more clearly, can you? Natalie sits very still now, sipping her wine. Did I say something wrong or offensive?
“I really don’t understand it,” she suddenly murmurs. “Sunday he went to your flat twice and he must have tried to call you too. He kept pestering me all the time, asking if I’d heard from you. That’s not the way he usually behaves, you know.” What is she trying to say?
“I’m really tremendously glad that he didn’t tell any of you,” I say without asking her to explain her remark. Natalie shakes her head, her locks flying.
“I think you’re wrong about Cassius. Maybe you misunderstood what I told you about him. He isn’t really a Casanova, it’s just that all the girls are after him and well, he takes his share.” She pushes her plate away as I ponder her words. I’m sure last time we talked about him, she said something different. I’m just opening my mouth to disagree when she grins at me. “And now tell me: was it any good?” Involuntarily I giggle, she really is the most impossible girl.