“Hmm, I don’t have too much experience but I’d say it was alright,” I answer rather evasively. Natalie gapes at me.
“Only alright?” She clearly doesn’t believe me and seems on the verge of a fit of the giggles. I flush crimson, again. I was afraid of losing my friends because of what happened and Natalie just keeps making fun of it.
“Better than alright,” I finally admit. Nothing on earth will get me to admit that it was the best kiss of my life. Natalie grins at me mischievously.
“Then maybe you should fall out of love with my brother, now that you realise that there are still other men around,” she suggests.
“No way!” I shake my head and empty my glass. “I can’t believe that you could even think that Cassius and me could ever be an item, he is so not my type. I really can’t stand guys like him,” I state loudly and clearly. I have to convince her somehow that those kisses mean nothing to me.
“Umm, Livia,” she tries to interrupt me, but I’m on a roll.
“He’s arrogant, manipulative and big-headed. Guys like him are convinced that the world’s at their fingertips because they’re good-looking, rich and drive fast cars. I just hate men who patronise me and order in a restaurant without asking me what I want!” I’m rather breathless now and realise that Natalie isn’t looking at me anymore but is staring at something behind me. Her lips are twitching. “What’s so funny?” I glare at her. Obviously she isn’t taking me seriously.
“Nothing, on the contrary, I’m rather appalled at your opinion of me,” a low voice answers behind me. I close my eyes in shock, my heart skips a beat, only to start beating frantically again. The seconds tick by. Why do these things always happen to me of all people? I take a deep breath and turn around slowly.
“I also hate it when people creep up on me and listen in to my conversations.” There, no apology. My voice sounds nearly normal too. Cassius raises his eyebrows.
“Unfortunately I couldn’t help overhearing your words, ask anyone in the bar,” he replies with dry sarcasm. His voice sounds very distanced, his handsome face is dispassionate and pale. “I see you’re alright,” he concludes, sitting down between Natalie and me.
“Thanks, I’m good,” I answer stiffly, a bit thrown by his coolness. My hand shakes as I reach for the new glass a waiter has put in front of me. Cassius orders only coffee.
“I don’t want to interrupt your interesting discussion, I only came here for coffee before I return home.” He turns to Natalie, ignoring me completely. “Will and Rupert are coming to my place the second weekend in March and I was going to ask Ruth and you, too. Your father will be joining us as well.” I bite my lip, of course he won’t ask me. Who would after what I said about him? Not that I would have gone, but it hurts anyway.
“Of course I’ll come, thank you,” Natalie agrees at once, smiling at him. Then he turns to me, his green eyes reducing me to a nervous wreck. I suddenly think about my dream, his face shows the same cold, hostile expression now. He really scares me.
“Livia?” he prompts me. What? He’s inviting me too?
“I think I’d better not,” I reply in a husky voice.
“But you have to come, Livia!” Natalie breaks the tension. “You haven’t seen the estate yet, with all its horses and animals!”
“Stop it, Natalie, Livia doesn’t want to come,” Cassius interrupts her abruptly. He finishes his coffee, gets up and kisses Natalie on the cheek. “Bye!” Not a glance in my direction as he leaves the bar. Something inside me wilts and dies. I pick at my food for the sake of something to do.
“I guess you’ve really hurt him,” Natalie begins after a long silence. “First I thought it funny that he overheard you but he reacted very strongly. And yet he invited you to his house.” I glance at her through my lashes. She clearly finds me rude and ungrateful.
“I didn’t mean to hurt him, I’m sorry,” I whisper dejectedly.
“You should tell him that yourself, ideally at the weekend of the houseparty,” she suggests to my utter horror. I shake my head vigorously.
“I’m sorry, I can’t.” I’d die if I had to be in his company for a whole weekend.
“But Rupert’s coming, too,” Natalie tries to lure me. “And Will and me. And you’d meet my father.” I shove a piece of bread into my mouth so I don’t have to answer. I won’t let her persuade me.
After dinner we part and I’m left alone with my muddled thoughts. I told Natalie nearly everything, but left out the rose. But it isn’t important, is it? Just a flower somebody lost. But deep inside me there’s a thought that refuses to go away: what if the rose was from Cassius? He’d been to my flat twice. But no, that’s too absurd. Again I see his hostile face before me, his cold glare which frightened me to my core. Actually I should be pleased with the situation as it is: nobody but Natalie knows about my stupid mistake and Cassius knows exactly what I think of him, that I have no interest in him at all. So I can’t fathom why I’m so miserable.
Chapter 20
“I can’t make head nor tail of this!” Natalie cries in frustration, putting her feet on the kitchen table to admire her new Louboutin snakeskin ankle boots. She loves Louboutins, they make her look so much taller. Will shoves her feet down again and places a plate of chocolate soufflé in front of her.
“Those boots are gorgeous, but don’t put them on my table. You don’t have any manners, you know!”
“Grumpy bore,” Natalie grumbles, dipping her spoon into the steaming, fragrant dessert.
“Don’t worry too much, I don't think the situation’s that bad,” Will continues, sitting down beside her with a plate. “On the evening of the dinner Livia was pretty shell-shocked but now she’s convinced that nobody knows but you. Your performance must have been good, you’re an excellent actress!” Natalie smiles smugly.
“I am indeed. But come to think of it, not many people know anyway, just you, me and Cassius.” Will nods his blonde head.
“It should stay that way too. Otherwise someone will let something slip and embarrass her.” Natalie licks her spoon, grinning.
“Ruth, of course.” Will laughs.
“Probably. She really doesn’t make things easy for Livia.” Natalie pushes her empty plate away.
“But I’m still worried. Livia is refusing to come to Cassius’ place with us and this weekend is just so important. She could get to know us better, the others too. What’s more, Augustus will be there.” Will gets up and removes the plates.
“It’s high time he meets her. Can’t you persuade her to come?” Natalie raises her hands in despair.
“After what’s going on between her and Cassius? I don’t think so. Why did he have to do that?”
“Because the opportunity presented itself,” Will suspects, but Natalie shakes her head.
“You know, he created the opportunity. He pulled her down on the chair beside him, he did it on purpose. And he’s really acting weirdly. He called her the next day and went to her apartment twice when she didn’t answer her mobile.” Will stares at the girl open-mouthed.