“Poor girl!” Cassius exclaims and I gape at him until I realise he’s talking about the dog. “I closed the door when you arrived and had forgotten her.” His green eyes examine my face, my mouth, and suddenly I smell his lemony fragrance. My breath hitches in my throat and I’m sure I’m going to faint.
“Drink up, we want to leave!” a cool voice interrupts my thoughts and Ruth’s slim white hand with its purple nails takes Cassius’ arm. She takes the book and tosses it on the kitchen table. “Take this basket please, and Rupert, you take the second one!” she commands, ignoring me totally. “Will, take the blankets!” Bossy bitch! Will obviously thinks the same and rolls his eyes at her. “Thank you for everything, Mrs Roberts, you’re the best!” Ruth now says in a honeyed voice, beaming at the housekeeper.
“We’ll have to feed you up while you’re here, Miss Ruth, you’re much too thin. I baked the apple tart you like so much, especially for you.” Ruth kisses the woman briefly on the cheek, evidently she’s here visiting all the time. I notice that Natalie is gnawing on her lower lip, her brows knit. Her eyes are darting between me and Cassius and I’m afraid I might have upset her somehow but when I turn to her the gloomy expression disappears at once.
“Let’s go,” she grins at me, taking my arm. Followed by the dogs we leave the house and cross the meadow behind it. A meadow, I should have guessed! I keep slightly away from everybody, hoping nobody will notice my predicament. My heart beats frantically as I carefully set one foot in front of the other, my eyes firmly fixed on the ground. I’m only lucky that there aren’t many flowers yet. I glance towards the others, finding to my relief that they’re oblivious to my predicament. Rupert and Will are throwing balls for the dogs, sending them into a yapping frenzy. Natalie and Ruth are talking animatedly, with Cassius beside them but not taking part in the conversation.
Finally we reach the woods and I suddenly feel chilly. I’ve calmed down a bit as there are no flowers here but I keep looking at the ground. That’s why I don’t notice Cassius approaching. Suddenly he’s walking beside me and I flinch. He moves with a catlike grace that makes me feel all the more awkward. Without a word we walk on together. What’s his problem? What does he want from me? Why doesn’t he say something, anything? Maybe I’m too boring to talk to. My stomach is in knots as I rack my brain for a neutral topic. “Where’s Nuala? She hasn’t come out with us!” I finally break the silence. Thankfully, with animals and small children there’s always something to talk about!
“Nuala has better things to do than go for a walk,” he replies cryptically. “After the picnic I’ll show you the house and stables if you like.” This is unexpected. There’s no way I’m going to be left alone with him! I feel his eyes on me, waiting for my reply.
“I didn’t know Nuala was a dog,” I blurt out instead.
“It’s not important anyway, is it?” Cassius mutters with raised brows, shooting me an unfathomable look. Is he making fun of me? Luckily we finally reach the clearing and I’m off the hook. But my luck doesn’t last long. I draw in a sharp breath when I realise that the clearing is more of a small meadow, covered in pennyworts and crocuses. It’s breathtaking and, for me, absolutely terrifying. The blood rushes in my ears and I’m sure I look deathly pale. I simply cannot cross this meadow! I close my eyes, fighting for breath. I’ll have to confess why I’m in this state and everyone will think me completely crazy. It’s Natalie who inadvertently rescues me.
“Let’s stay here at the edge of the wood, I don’t want to sit in the sun,” she suggests in a rather sharp voice. I open my eyes and see her gesturing towards the sky. Right, I’ll probably freeze to death in the shade but she’s saved my life with her unreasonable request. Cassius has already joined the others and I tiptoe the few steps to the blankets that Will’s arranging on the ground. Gratefully I sit down but when I look up I notice Ruth smirking at me. I look away quickly and help Natalie unpack the food. Mrs Roberts has really done us proud, there is cold pheasant, crispy spinach pie, quail’s eggs and a honey-glazed ham. For dessert she’s packed lots of strawberries, a small chocolate cake and Ruth’s apple pie. Two sticks of French bread and three bottles of ice-cold champagne round the meal off.
“She’s a gem!” Natalie sighs contentedly, holding out her glass to Will who pops the first cork.
“To the six of us!” He raises his glass and looks at us somehow challengingly, his eyes lingering on Ruth. Natalie agrees loudly as does Rupert, but Cassius is absentmindedly ruffling the ears of a Beagle and staring into the woods. Ruth, who is sitting very close to him, puts her hand on his leg to get his attention.
“I’d rather drink to Cassius’ hospitality,” she murmurs, looking me straight in the eyes. I force a smile and take a sip of my champagne. What a great start!
We begin to eat, the dogs lying very close by, waiting for leftovers. Ruth keeps telling stories about other occasions they’ve been here, pointing out that they usually never invited anyone else. It’s an obvious jibe against me but I refuse to rise to it although I would gladly kill her right now. Natalie seems to think so too. “Just as well Livia is one of us now, so we can invite her here without breaking your rules,” she says in a mocking voice and dips a strawberry into her champagne, pulling a face at Ruth. Although I appreciate her effort I’d rather she kept quiet. Now everyone’s attention is on me.
“Is she really?” Ruth promptly shoots back. Hello, I’m still here! They’re discussing me as if I wasn’t present.
“Livia is an outsider,” Cassius interjects calmly. What?! Thank you very much, you arrogant bastard! I flush crimson. He’s right but does he have to embarrass me like this? He hasn’t spoken much the whole afternoon but as soon as he opens his mouth he spouts invectives. Even Will and Rupert are gaping at him now. I know I should reply, say something in my defence but I’m too mortified. Natalie glowers at Cassius, opening her mouth to speak, but he interrupts her. “She’s an outsider as are the five of us. That’s why she belongs to us.” Excuse me? He’s taking my part? Against Ruth? And why the hell should they be outsiders of all people?
“Cassius!” Ruth’s anguished cry cuts through the silence. She’s really a terrible show-off and is overreacting like mad. But the next instant her beautiful face splits into a huge grin. “Really, Cassius, what are you talking about?” Her voice is mocking and full of laughter. “I don’t think any of us could be called an outsider.” Well, she’s certainly right there. Cassius takes a bite from a huge strawberry, watching Ruth calmly.
“You know exactly what I mean, Ruth, and you know why we’re here this weekend,” he replies in a bored voice. The tension between them is palpable and I hold my breath. What’s going on here? Ruth opens her mouth for a sharp reply but Will chips in.
“I definitely think it’s the wrong time for this discussion. Who wants some more champagne?” He shoots Cassius and Ruth a warning look. I’m lost, having no idea what it’s all about. Did I miss something? If I wasn’t such a coward I’d ask. But as I’m plain old me I just sit tight and try to make myself invisible. Soon afterwards Natalie begins to pack up the leftovers and I’m relieved that the picnic is over. The mood remained subdued, neither Cassius nor Ruth says another word. Nor do I, having been the reason for their argument. Somehow I feel responsible for the ruined afternoon.