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“We have a present too but let’s have dinner first!” Natalie raises her glass to me.

“Good idea, I’m starving,” Rupert agrees. “And if we want to tackle the case of champagne that Cassius sent, we should have some food first.” I bite my lower lip. So he sent a case of champagne but refused to join us. I drink up, not wanting to get gloomy.

Will, who disappeared into the kitchen a while ago, is calling us now. He motions to us to sit down at the kitchen table, which is laid beautifully with a white table cloth and napkins, while he is serving two large plates with fish, mussels, scampi and vegetables. The smell is delicious. The mood during the meal is relaxed, although I notice that Augustus is again not really eating. It’s so good to be back with Natalie, Will and Rupert that I’m not even missing Cassius that much. Well, only a little bit. I don’t dare ask where he is and why he didn’t come.

When we’re done with the fish and have cleared the plates, Rupert declares, “Now to the present, Livia. Will, bring in the cake!” Natalie quickly blows out the candles on the table and claps her hands. They all seem to be in an excellent mood today, maybe partly due to the delicious wine and champagne. I gasp when Will brings a huge cake to the table, complete with twentytwo burning candles.

“Hell, I’m getting old!” I scream delightedly and everyone bursts out laughing. They seem to find it hilarious, but I don’t really get the joke. Not caring I admire my cake which is a small work of art, decorated with marzipan flowers of all colours. I wonder if this is a dig at my problem? I push the thought away and blow out the candles. “Thanks, Will, it’s the most gorgeous cake I’ve ever had!” I smile at him and he beams back.

“I hope you wished for something extraordinary,” he whispers and I can’t help flushing. Of course I did but I certainly won’t tell.

“We thought it better to spare the real flowers and put the marzipan ones on the cake instead,” Natalie grins at me. Oh, so they do know. What the hell, they obviously like me anyway, crazy or not. I feel Will watching me intently.

“Good idea,” I shrug calmly. “Now I can eat them instead of them eating me.” I grin broadly, playing down my phobia, now that it’s in the open. I feel a sense of relief that the reason still appears to be a secret though. Rupert clears his throat and hands me a big knife.

“Go for it, Livia! It’s Will‘s special crème caramel cake.” Carefully I cut five pieces and – yes! – put a marzipan flower on each of them. Easy, they’re not real after all. Then I raise my glass to my friends.

“Thank you so much, you’re the best friends ever.” And at this moment I really mean it.

“Wait a minute, that’s not your present!” Natalie squeals, handing me a large envelope. I open it curiously and read the card inside: Two weeks Madagascar. With Natalie, Will, Rupert, Ruth, Cassius and Augustus. I look up questioningly. A holiday? With all of them? Suddenly my heart beats faster. Cassius has signed too. Then my heart stops as I fully realise the destination: Madagascar, the island where my mum died. I feel the colour drain from my face.

“What does this mean?” I whisper to Natalie.

“It means that we’re going on holiday together,” Natalie explains, looking totally innocent. “You wanted to go somewhere hot and sunny, didn’t you?” she asks, frowning. Had I ever told her that my mum died there? It’s possible but I can’t remember exactly. Maybe it’s just a weird coincidence that she chose this destination.

“I can’t believe that you all want to come!” I exclaim, playing for time. “Tell me, why did you choose Madagascar?” There’s a moment of silence.

“Actually it was Cassius’ idea,” Rupert explains. “It’s the island of the orchids and he thought that maybe you can get rid of your flower issues there.” He shifts in his chair uncomfortably. I’m aware that I’m holding my breath. The island of the orchids, so I’ve been wrong all the time about Lanyu. It certainly makes sense. The ring, the letter, mum’s death on Madagascar. But how on earth does Cassius know? I haven’t mentioned the letter to anyone. A shiver runs down my spine and my stomach is in a knot. But everyone is watching me expectantly, I have to get a grip!

“Great idea, hopefully it’ll work!” I force a smile onto my face. “Where is Cassius tonight, by the way?” The question is out before I can stop myself and I flush. Augustus clears his throat.

“He’s in Scotland, at Randolph’s castle. We haven’t seen him in a while. By the way, I won’t disturb your holiday for too long, I’m just joining you at the end.” I simply nod, wondering why he’s coming at all. And whether I want him to. Well, Ruth will obviously be there as well, so there may be issues anyway. Will refills our glasses and we all drink to my present.

* * *

I drive home the next day at noon, the party having lasted until rather late last night. Augustus went home after dinner and I relaxed even more after he left. We ended up dancing around Rupert’s sculptures to very loud music. Good thing that they don’t have any neighbours! Natalie had a terrible hangover this morning and I let myself quietly out of the flat. At home I put the rest of the cake into the fridge, Will warned me that he would be terribly offended if I didn’t take it home. It was the best birthday party ever, apart from the fact that Cassius was missing. I’m not sure if a visit to his uncle is a good enough reason to stay away but he’s coming to Madagascar, so how can I complain? I hope it isn’t going to be too weird there. I’ll have to tell my friends about my mum’s death of course.

I’m so lost in thought that I nearly fail to hear the doorbell. Who on earth could it be on a Saturday afternoon? Please, not a surprise visit from Sophie again! When I open the door my breath hitches. It’s Cassius, pale, with dark shadows under his green eyes. His eyes are drinking me in and a thousand butterflies are taking off in my stomach. The air between us is charged. Neither of us seems able to speak, then I take a deep breath. “Hi, Cassius,” I whisper, my voice husky and low.

“Belated happy birthday,” he finally says, handing me the cloth-covered basket he’s carrying. His voice doesn’t give anything away and apart from his burning eyes I wouldn’t know that he is as shaken as I am. I try to calm my breathing and just hope he can’t hear my frantically beating heart.

“Thank you! Please come in.” I still cannot get my head around the fact that he’s standing in my flat. “I thought you were in Scotland,” I murmur in an attempt at normal conversation.

His face is guarded as he replies, “I came back this morning. Don’t you want to have a look at your present?” No, not really, his being here is my best present. I feel a pull inside me, a churning feeling, and I’m afraid it’s desire for this disturbing, unfathomable guy. But I have to feign interest in the present and uncover the basket with unsteady hands. I gasp when a puppy looks up at me with big, frightened eyes and I recognise her immediately. It’s one of Nuala’s. Carefully I pick the small dog up and hold her against my chest while she begins licking my chin. “Her name is Daisy,” Cassius says matter-of-factly.

“It’s my best present ever,” I whisper in a shaky voice. He is still standing motionless in front of me and I know that it’s now or never as he obviously isn’t willing to take the first step. Quivering inside I stretch up and kiss him on the mouth, very slowly. He smells delicious, and I will him to wrap his arms around me, but he doesn’t. It’s a short kiss and our lips are closed but I think I’ve made my point. The blood rushes in my ears and I can barely stand, but to my mortification he steps away from me.