“Very soon everything will change. Then you won’t need excuses anymore,” he murmurs into my hair, setting my heart racing. I look up at him questioningly, but he kisses me deeply, stopping every coherent thought.
Chapter 33
And then I bump into Ralph. I’m shopping for my holiday, some sunscreen and new bikinis, when he steps into my path. “Is that you, Livia?” he exclaims, eyeing me up in surprise. During the first months of our separation I was always afraid of this encounter, and even now I flinch.
“Hi, Ralph,” I reply shyly. He looks just the same, tall and handsome with floppy blonde hair.
“You look fabulous,” he smiles down at me. “I nearly didn’t recognise you.” Right, thanks a lot! I see he hasn’t changed at all but I’m very grateful that I’m wearing my new Burberry trench coat and carrying the green Mulberry satchel Cassius gave me some days ago. I don’t really know what to reply but he keeps talking anyway. “You’ve lost some weight, haven’t you? And your hair is longer and there’s a certain glow to you.” He narrows his eyes and I blush. I know what he means, it’s the just-fucked glow. Remembering my morning with Cassius I grin at Ralph.
“I’m fine, thanks. I’m going on holiday tomorrow.” Ralph runs his hand through his hair, still watching me. How different they are, he and Cassius, one blonde and one dark. But are they really so different? They both have a self-assurance and arrogance that takes everything for granted. As if they owned the whole world.
“Where to?” he asks curiously.
“Madagascar.” I beam at him, aware how exotic this sounds, especially for me. Ralph whistles through his teeth.
“You are getting around these days! Are you going on your own?” My grin fades. Why the hell does everybody think that I have to go on holiday alone?
“No, I'm going with friends.” Ralph shoots me the kind of look he gave me at the beginning of our relationship, flirty and interested. His blue eyes gaze into mine.
“You have to tell me everything. Let’s go for a drink!” Immediately the warning bells sound in my head.
“No, sorry, I’m already late, I have to pack,” I decline, but he takes my hand in typical Ralph fashion, ignoring my words.
“Just a quick one, for old times’ sake, Livia. You’re not still angry with me, are you?” You wish!
“Certainly not,” I laugh at him. “That’s all in the past. Oh, alright, let’s have a quick drink.” I can’t have him thinking that I’m still hankering after him, and my suitcase is already packed, so why not?
I notice Ralph admiring my MCQ ankle boots as he leads me into the nearest bar. “Two vodka shots,” he orders without asking me. As usual.
“One glass of Chablis, please,” I ask the waiter and Ralph gapes at me.
“Bring both,” he snaps, not wanting to lose face. “Since when do you drink wine?” he mutters at me. Smiling sweetly, I shake my hair back.
“I always did, you just didn’t acknowledge it.” His blue eyes are smiling at me in wonder.
“I guess there’s a lot I didn’t know about you,” he breathes. I nod and take a sip of my cold wine which is lovely and crisp. Suddenly I realise that Ralph is staring down at my left hand, completely speechless. “You’re engaged?” he croaks. I splutter into my wine and roll my eyes at him.
“No, the ring just didn’t fit on my right hand.” He nods, looking kind of relieved.
“So, tell me. Who are the friends you’re going away with? Anyone I know?” He’s really curious now, I can tell.
“No, you don’t know them. We’re six people in total, three guys and three girls.” I’d better not tell him about Augustus, it’s kind of odd going on holiday with your friends’ father. Ralph raises his eyebrows.
“Three couples? You don’t have a boyfriend, do you?” The cheek of it! No need to be that surprised! I sit up straighter. Wait, till I tell you about Cassius, ha!
“We’re not three couples, but I do have a boyfriend,” I reply casually. How blissful to be able to say this! Ralph pushes the second vodka shot in front of me, raising his glass.
“To your happiness!” Automatically I take the glass and clink it to his, old habits die hard. I wince as the sharp liquid runs down my throat, I’ve forgotten how horrible it tastes. “Tell me all about him,” he smiles encouragingly at me. OK, this could take hours. But where to begin?
“He’s amazing,” I gush, blushing slightly. “And very good-looking.”
“Like me?” Ralph beams at me and I have to laugh, it’s just so typical.
“Yes, exactly, but he has dark hair. He’s about the same age as you too. And he drives a Bentley.” I just couldn’t resist boasting a bit, Ralph being an absolute car nut.
“Wow, he’s got to have money!” he replies rather tersely, his eyes narrowing. I shrug nonchalantly.
“He breeds horses, owns a country estate in the Cotswolds.” Stop it, Livia, that’s enough! Ralph motions to the waiter and orders the next round.
“Sounds rather old-fashioned,” he mutters darkly. “And the others? Are they loaded as well?“ Obviously he’s only interested in one thing, but I can’t complain, I started this. Thinking about Natalie who doesn’t have to work, our flat and Ruth’s Mercedes and clothes, I nod.
“Kind of.” He pushes the glass towards me and I drink out of embarrassment.
“Where did you meet these people?” he continues his interrogation. The alcohol starts to churn in my stomach.
“I met one of the girls, Natalie, in a shop,” I explain. Ralph leans back in his chair, watching me.
“Rich, good-looking and you’re going on holiday with them. They’re almost too good to be true, you know? Tell me their names, I must have a look at them on Facebook.” Facebook? I’ve no idea if anyone has a profile there, it didn’t even occur to me.
“I don’t think so,” I stammer. He pulls a face at me.
“Don’t tell me they’re not on Facebook! Are they for real?” Suddenly I’m very angry.
“Right, it doesn’t mean that a person doesn’t exist if they don’t have a profile. Not everyone is an addict like you who even dumps his girlfriend there,” I snap at him. Ralph puts his hand over mine.
“Hey, don’t get your panties in a twist. But they seem so perfect – are you sure you didn’t make them up?” He can’t be serious, can he? Does he really think I’m so sad that I have to invent my friends?
“What on earth are you talking about?” I hiss, feeling the heat rise in my face. He winks at me.
“You always had an active imagination.” That’s enough now. I get up abruptly, ready to leave, but he takes my hand. “Sit down, I was only joking.” He drags me back down on my seat. “You look so beautiful, it has to be true. Your boyfriend must suit you,” he tries to mollify me. “But they sound like something out of a film, vampires or some other kind of immortal creatures, they’re always rich and beautiful too.” I burst out laughing.