“We got in,” I state, blinking.
Ben nods, looking equally taken aback. “Yes. We did.”
“This is home now?” Bree asks.
I squeeze her close into me. “It’s home.”
We follow General Reece outside past rows of small brick buildings, one story high, covered in branches to camouflage them.
“Males and females are separated,” the General explains. “Ben, Charlie, you’ll be staying here.” She points at one of the brick buildings covered in thick ivy. “Brooke, Bree, you’ll be across the street.”
Ben frowns. “Don’t people live with their families?”
The General stiffens a little. “None of us have families,” she says, a hint of emotion in her voice for the first time. “When you desert the military, you don’t get a chance to bring your husband, kids, or parents with you.”
I feel a pang of sympathy in my gut. My dad wasn’t the only person who deserted his family for a cause he believed in. And I wasn’t the only person to abandon their mother.
“But hasn’t anyone formed a family since?” Ben asks, pressing her further, as though oblivious to her emotional pain. “I thought you said you began repopulating.”
“There are no families at the moment. Not yet, anyway. The community has to be controlled and stabilized to ensure we have enough food, space, and resources. We can’t have people breeding whenever they want to. It must be regulated.”
“Breeding?” Ben says under his breath. “That’s a funny way of putting it.”
The General purses her lips. “I understand that you have questions about how things work here, and I appreciate it may seem unusual to you from the outside. But Fort Noix has survived because of the rules we’ve put in place, because of our order. Our citizens understand and respect that.”
“And so do we,” I add, quickly. I turn and put an arm around my sister. “Come on, Bree, let’s get inside. I’m looking forward to meeting our new housemates.”
The General nods. “They’ll show you the ropes from here on out. Follow them to lunch when it’s time.”
She gives us a salute, then walks away, taking her soldiers with her.
A cheerful American woman named Neena shows us around our new home. She’s the “mother” of the house, which consists, she tells us, of a group of teenage girls and young women. She explains that the rest of our housemates are out working and that we’ll meet them in the evening.
“Give you time to settle in,” she says, smiling kindly. “A house full of twenty women can get a little much at times.”
She shows us into a small, simple room with bunk beds.
“You two will need to share a room,” she says. “It’s not exactly a five-star resort.”
I smile.
“It’s perfect,” I say, walking into the room.
Once again, I’m overwhelmed by the sensation of peace and safety. I can’t remember the last time I stood in a room that smelled clean, that had been dusted and polished and vacuumed. Light streams through the window, making the room look even more welcoming.
For the first time in a long time, I feel safe.
Penelope likes it, too. She runs around happily in circles, jumping on the beds, wagging her tail and barking.
“I must say it’s so exciting to have a dog in the house,” Neena says. “The other girls are just going to love her.”
Bree grins from ear to ear, every inch the proud owner.
“She’s so smart for a dog,” she says. “She saved our life once, when—”
I grab Bree’s arm and squeeze it to quiet her. For some reason, I don’t want what we’ve been through spoken about within our new home. I want it to be a new beginning for us, one free from the past. More than anything, I don’t want anyone to know about the arenas if they don’t have to. I’ve killed people. It will change the way they look at me, make them more cautious, and I don’t know if I can cope with that right now.
Bree seems to understand what I’m trying to silently communicate. She lets her story disappear into the ether, and Neena doesn’t seem to notice.
“There are things for you on the bed,” she says. “Not much, just a few bits to tide you over.”
On each of our beds are neatly folded clothes. They’re made from the same dark material that General Reece and her army were wearing. The fabric is rough; I figure it must be home-grown cotton, colored by naturally made dyes and stitched into a uniform by the tailors she’d told us about.
“Do you girls want to wash before lunch?” Neena asks.
I nod and Neena takes me to the small bathroom that serves all twenty of the house’s residents, before leaving me be. It’s basic and the water is cold, but it feels amazing to be clean again.
When Bree comes back into our room after her own shower, she starts laughing.
“You look funny,” she says to me.
I’ve changed into the stiff uniform that was left for me. Tendrils of hair hang over my shoulders, making wet patches in the fabric.
“It’s itchy,” I say, wriggling uncomfortably.
“Clean, though,” Bree replies, running her fingertips against the fabric of her own uniform. “And new.”
I know what she means. It’s been years since we had anything that was ours, that wasn’t stolen or found or recycled. These are our clothes, never before worn. For the first time in a long time, we have possessions.
Along with the new clothes, we are also given towels, shoes, nightwear, a pencil, a pad of paper, a watch, a flashlight, a whistle, and a penknife. It’s like a little welcome package. From what I’ve learned about the place so far, the contents seem very Fort Noix.
Neena leads us out of the house and along the street, and after a short stroll we come to a larger building. I look up. It has the air of a town hall, yet simple, anonymous.
We go inside and immediately the smell of food hits me. I start to salivate, while Bree’s eyes widen. The room is filled with tables, most taken up by farm workers, recognizable from their muddy clothes and sun-blushed skin.
“There’s Ben and Charlie,” Bree says, pointing to a table.
I notice that both of them have plates piled high with food, and both are gorging themselves.
Neena must notice the look of want on my face because she smiles and says, “Go sit with them. I’ll bring you over some food.”
We thank her and go to sit with Charlie and Ben on a bench filled with farm workers. Everyone nods politely to us as we take seats. For a community that doesn’t usually take in outsiders, they seem pretty accepting about the sudden appearance of four bedraggled, half-starved kids and a one-eyed Chihuahua.
“Someone’s feeling more at home,” I say to Ben as he rams another mouthful of food into his mouth.
But that same haunted look has returned to his eyes. He may be clean on the outside, but his mind appears to be polluted by the things he’s been through. And though he’s eating, he’s doing so mechanically. Not in the same way Charlie does, as though he’s relishing every single bite. Ben eats as though he can’t even taste the food. What’s more, he doesn’t say a word as we take our places beside him, almost as though he hasn’t noticed we’re there. I can’t help but worry for him. I’ve heard about people going through terrible ordeals only to then fall apart as soon as they reach safety. I pray that Ben won’t be one of them.
I’m distracted when Neena returns with two plates of food, one for Bree and one for me, heaped with garlic-buttered chicken with roast potatoes and some kind of spicy zucchini and tomato side dish. I can’t remember the last time I saw food that looked like this. It looks like something you could order in a restaurant.