“I’m giving you all the weather I can, man.”
“We lose cloud, we lose everything, friend. We’re bollock naked.”
“Have you any idea how much this is costing?”
“Since when have you been concerned about the taxpayer’s dollar?”
Seskinore took over the line. In addition to his preperformance rituals, he had popped a tab of tephranol filched from Weill’s supplies and was now as convinced of his own omnipotence as the Panarch himself. More so. He could order the Panarch about: look, there He goes. Loop-a-da-loop, Ancient of Days.
“Whatever it costs, you will have it,” he said, plummily. There was nothing he could not do now, no benison he could not grant, he held elemental forces in his hands and made them dance and sing. A million people were watching the products of his genius, gobemouche with wonder, and they loved him, they loved him. Even if they did not know who he was, they loved him. A stage! A stage worthy of the great Seskinore at last. He tabbed up Mishcondereya. “My dear, timing! Timing! The very soul of comedy!”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning, you’re a little bit late on your shadowing. Skerry has to get back out again.”
“Ses, they’ve got Gatlings down there and they’re not averse to using them,” Mishcondereya said, thinking, pillock, but she took the little ship in close through a phalanx of Spiritual Spearmen. The proximity alarm and Weill’s shouted warning blasting her eardrum came simultaneously. By instinct alone, Mishcondereya threw the sky yacht out of the way of the six blinding streaks of light that burned over her head and in the same instant were gone.
“Bladnoch, what the hell you playing at?” she yelled as she fought to avoid ramming the Great Pantechnicon amidships.
“Not mine, Mishcon. Those were hundred percent corporeal. Solid.”
“I’ll tell you what they were,” Weill said grimly. “Waves five and six. Our Mr. Harx has just upped the ante.”
Sweetness and Pharaoh ran pell-mell up the gently curving corridor that Sweetness’s infallible train sense told her led to Devastation Harx’s presence chamber. Hell and urine, it was only a few days since she had last been here. Full days admittedly, but how much can you forget? She stood before the double doors, hand resting on the door pad.
“This is the place,” she said.
“Definitely?” Pharaoh asked, faithlessly.
“Hundred percento,” Sweetness said and palmed the door release. “See?”
In those few days since she had last stood in the presence chamber, much had befallen that beautiful room. The wooden cressets had tumbled, the horse-shoe table smashed in the middle by a falling beam, the thirteen chairs scattered and broken-backed. Sweetness walked to the centre across a carpet of glassite shards. She looked up through the shattered dome, shading her eyes against the white glare of the fog.
“What the…?”
Pharaoh was working at the door, wedging the handles with broken chair-backs. He looked up at Sweetness’s exclamation.
“What is it?”
“I thought I saw…I don’t know, couldn’t be, an angel. Looking right in at me.”
“Nothing would surprise me about this place,” Pharaoh said. “Or you. There. That should hold them for a while.”
Sweetness surveyed the grandeur of the devastation of the beautiful room.
“Mother’a’mercy, those boys could chuck dynamite,” she opined. “Where do you start in this mess?”
“Lid like a winged helmet,” Pharaoh said.
“Yuh.”
“It could be over there.”
The wooden altar piece had been added to the furnishings after Sweetness’s visit and had been miraculously spared the destruction, as they often are as a sure sign of their divinity. A lot of purple acolyte hours had been put into it, the triptych of St. Catherine on Motherworld, St. Catherine planting the Tree of World’s Beginning with pressure-gloved fingers in the regolith of Chryse and St. Catherine the Mortified as a translucent woman in a floaty frock was vigorous if naive. The five radiating arms bore miniatures from the Reality Wars, teen cybersoldiers with mirror shades and wires in their heads, fleets of logic bombers dodging slashing lasers, grim-faced space-marines hacking their way into orbital habitats with power axes. They were more crudely rendered but had the energy and zeal of the eye of faith guiding the hand of paint. Crucified to the central spine, haloed by festival fairy lights and stick-on fake jewels was the Catherine canister. It could not have been more obvious if it had had a banner hanging over it announcing Catherine of Tharsis, right here, right now.
“You know, I’m having second thoughts about saving you,” Sweetness said as she started to climb the rickety edifice. Her desert boots dislodged self-adhesive cabochons, flaked chips of lovingly applied paint. “You are too damn smart for your own good, son.”
“Then you be spread all over Canton Semb like cashew butter,” Pharaoh said.
“I’d’ve been all right, I’m a story,” Sweetness said, reaching for the reliquary.
“Yeah? Happy ending or sad ending?”
At which moment, Pharaoh’s barricaded door quivered.
Outside, in the curving corridor, Skerry cursed.
“Agh!” She beat her palms against it in frustration. “When will something go right today?” She stepped back, too short a run, put her solid shoulder to it. The double doors bulged. Wood splintered.
Within the presence chamber, the wedge chair creaked, wooden billets cracked. The door slammed again.
“Let’s go!” Sweetness said, wrenching the pyx free from the altar. She held it up in her hand like a mace. She expected a glow. She expected an angelic chord. She expected a ray of light to beam through the shattered dome of the sacred place on to her face. She expected a sense of completeness, reunification with her sundered twin, of mission accomplished. What she did feel was Pharaoh’s hands plucking urgently at her feet.
“Hey, get off me, I’m coming, I’m coming…”
She looked down at the face behind the insistently clawing hands. It was not Pharaoh’s face. They were not Pharaoh’s hands. Pharaoh was on his knees on the broken glass, retching from an evident boot in the testicles.
Him.
“You, you turd!” Sweetness shouted.
Serpio.
Devastation Harx pulled the gunners away from their crank-wheels and chain feeds and Gatling sights and cast them aside like a Poor Claireen purging a stockmarket dealing pit.
“Stop it, stop it at once, buffoons, fools, po-heads, cretins. I, your Harx, command you! Cease fire! Cease fire! You are shooting at lies! Lies!”
But convincing lies. For the first moment, when the blast doors opened and he saw the things he had always dreaded, always dreamed, flocking and swooping outside the Gatling turret, his parts had shrivelled with pure, superstitious dread. In that moment, the Nagging Demon that pricks all holy men and preachers whispered, you had to do it, didn’t you, you push and push and push and in the end, you succeeded, you pissed the Panarch Himself off, and now look what you’ve done, saints and angels coming out of the sky like hailstones at a holiday barbecue. Well, I hope you’re happy, Devastation Harx. Just for the first moment. Then for the next moment, he saw his brave boys, his mail-order crusaders, meet the limitless powers of the Omnipotence with whooping determination and good marksmanship, their grim-set mouths foam-flecked with zeal. Then he had seen the white stutter of tracer pass harmlessly through the seemingly corporeal divine hosts, the cloudy wakes they left behind as they howled and loomed and Pride Demon said, Call that an effects budget? When the Seven Trumpets play sweet bebop and God the Panarchic calls out the boys, you’ll know about it.
Then Devastation Harx felt a towering rage, that the enemies against whom he pitted his every strength and resource should insult him with ghost candles and magic lantern spooks and mists of ectoplasm.