They soon found Kelly, who as ever was at the center of others from their cadre: Susan with Pablo, and Venus Jenning and Wilson Argent, Thomas and Elle together, and Mike and Miriam, and Cora Robles who, heavily pregnant, had found time to put makeup on, and Zane Glemp, who looked the least agitated of any of them. Don Meisel was here in his DPD uniform and armor, standing with Kelly, the mother of his child. Holle’s heart went out to Kelly, who had given up her chance of a place on the Ark when she had chosen to bear her kid to term, little Dexter, now two years old. She had stayed with the program, training with the rest to lend her expertise and experience, and here she was now with her old colleagues, right to the end.
Holle pulled Kelly’s sleeve. “Come to say goodbye? Where’s Dexter today?”
Kelly just raised her fingers to her lips, and smiled.
Holle glanced around. “For sure there are a lot more than eighty people here. I guess the recruitment program was always wider than we knew about.”
“Yeah. And I happen to know that there have been a lot of last-minute switchovers. Kids of military and politicians being forced on us. Just as well President Peery is a childless widower or we’d have a dozen of his brats on board.”
Holle frowned. “So how many of us made the cut?”
The big doors at the back of the room slammed. There was a squeal of feedback, and on the stage Gordo Alonzo thumped a microphone with his finger.
Kelly whispered, “I guess we’re about to find out.”
Gordo Alonzo cleared his throat.
“OK. Welcome to the final crew selection process for Ark One, the culmination of Project Nimrod. This is going to be damn melodramatic, but it’s the best way we can figure to do it.
“Now listen up. I know my best crew. I have the final eighty stored in my head, up here.” He tapped his forehead. “That takes account of skill sets and diversity and all of that shit, and of the horse market that’s been going on the last few days. But we can’t just read out a list. Not everybody qualified even made it to this room. And some who made it here might not want to go, now we’re at the crunch. After all, this is a one-way trip.
“So, we’re going to go through a decision process. We have a smart piece of software that at each stage is going to maintain a list of the optimal crew from the eligible candidates, small ‘c,’ remaining. It’s that expert system that will make the final individual decisions. Understood?
“OK, first stage. I want any of you who’s not a flier to step back, go to the rear of the hall. That includes mom and pop and the sweetheart you’re leaving behind.” He glared around. “And that includes you, if after all you don’t want to go, even if you think you’re eligible, no matter how long you trained, or who paid for a seat for you on this scow. It’s your choice. Step back now.”
The crowd began to shuffle, sorting itself out. Venus, Wilson, Mel, Zane and the rest all moved forward, toward Alonzo. Susan Frasier kissed Pablo-and, to Holle’s shock, stepped back with him, holding onto his arm.
Holle grabbed her hands. “Susan, what are you doing? This is what you trained for, your whole life. You even got yourself pregnant to boost your chances.”
Susan just smiled a wide oceanic smile, and looked at Holle with brimming eyes. “It just isn’t what I want, Holle. I don’t think I ever did. It got harder and harder for me to imagine leaving Pablo, for one thing. And I won’t want that kind of future for my baby either, not a whole lifetime in a tin can.” She took a breath, and blood flushed her cheeks. “I mean, even if he grows up on a raft at least he’ll have the sun and the sky and the sea… He’d have none of that on the Ark. You won’t. I think I’d die without it.”
Holle was horrified at the thought that this sane, grounded woman would not be one of the eighty. “We need you. I need you. Please, Susan.”
Susan shook her head, her tears spilling over. “I can’t. I’m sorry.” Pablo smiled at Holle, and drew Susan away.
Holle, bewildered, turned back to Kelly and Don. Suddenly she realized she was facing more goodbyes, because Kelly couldn’t go any further.
But Don was kissing Kelly, hard on the lips. When he pulled away his eyes were wet, though Kelly’s were dry, bright. Don said gruffly, “So this is it.”
Kelly cupped his cheek with her hand. “It was so unfair how you were washed out, just a stunt by Gordo that first day. But you were never bitter. What incredible strength. I’ll remember that about you.”
“Christ, Kelly-”
“I’ll see you before the launch,” Kelly said. “Both of you, and Dexter. There’s time yet.” She glanced around at the line that was forming on the stage, beside Alonzo and his lottery machine. “Look, I need to go.”
Don nodded. “Go, go.” He seemed on the verge of saying more. Instead he turned on his heel and marched away to the back of the hall, stiff, upright in his police uniform.
Kelly was left standing with Holle. She took Holle’s hand. “Come on-let’s see if we won the game.”
But Holle, stunned, drew her hand back. “Kelly, what are you doing?”
Kelly stiffened. “I need to explain? Look-a few months back, Alonzo asked me if I wanted my name to be restored to the active roster. I had time to think it over. I spoke to Don about it. I said yes.”
Holle simply couldn’t understand. “You said yes? But that means you’ll have to leave Dexter.”
“He has his father. My dad will take care of them both. He’ll live.”
“You’re his mother,” Holle blurted.
“I won’t be the first mother in this drowning world to have left a kid behind,” Kelly said harshly. “I would have thought you would understand, you of all people. Christ, we grew up together, we got through that fucking Academy. But you really are a mouse, aren’t you? It’s not even a question of survival. It’s the mission. Holle, they offered me the role of commander of the trans-Jupiter phase! That’s a mission in itself. Then I’ll be in prime position to become captain of the interstellar phase. Come on, Holle, how could I turn that down? I’m meant to fly the Ark. I was born to it. I spent my life training up for it. There’s nothing else for me.”
“Not even your little boy?”
Kelly just repeated, “I thought you’d understand. Come on.” She turned and led the way through the thinning crowd toward the stage, and Alonzo’s lottery machine.
37
People were called up in groups of eight or ten, and briefed by Gordo on the process. Holle watched Grace Gray going through. She touched her hand to a pad on the machine, which turned and produced a disc, like a coin, that Gordo handed to her with a smile. Grace took it incuriously, and moved on.
Holle and Kelly caught up with Mel, Venus, Wilson, Zane, in the slowly moving line. In among them was a boy in an ill-fitting military uniform, who Holle hadn’t seen before. He looked uncertain, out of place, avoiding eye contact. It seemed to Holle that the regular Candidates in their uniforms made up no more than half the number lining up, half of this crowd of people all of whom thought they were entitled to a berth on the Ark.
Mel came back for Holle. She grabbed his hand and squeezed hard.
He glanced at her. “You OK?”
She shook her head, compressing her lips.
Kelly murmured to Wilson, “Who the hell’s the kid in the army colors? I’ll swear he never wore that uniform before today.”
Wilson whispered, “Rumor has it he’s the son of General Morell. You know, the guy in charge of Zone perimeter security. He briefed us once-”
“Well, he’s no chance of making it onto our ship, whoever spawned him.” Kelly’s face was hard, her eyes alive, every fiber of her being focused on the selection process. She didn’t glance once after Don.