My wife (God, I loved that word!) was practically jumping up and down with excitement by the time we finished processing on the dock and were able to board. Her eyes were glowing like a kid at Christmas underneath the tree. Then we started looking for our room. Cruise ships haven’t changed much since the days of the Titanic, at least in how they treat the passengers. The more money you have, the higher up in the ship you are. Rich people live on the upper decks. Poor people live at the bottom and row the boat. On our first honeymoon, we were so far down towards the bottom that we were handed oars as we walked on board!
Now we were a little higher. I think there were six decks on the ship, and we were now on the Promenade Deck, which was number two from the top. Maybe number three, but the absolute top deck actually was considered the Owner’s Deck, and only had four cabins, all oversized suites. They cost a ridiculous amount of money, something like $10,000 or $20,000 a week, for a room not much bigger than a decent suite in a hotel.
I wasn’t anywhere near that silly. We had a small suite, but it was about as much of a suite as a room in your average Holiday Inn. Still, we had a window we could open, not a porthole, a sitting area with couch and chairs, and a king size bed. Marilyn was entranced when we entered our room. I was a little more practical, looking for the bathroom and closet space. There wasn’t much, but they made use of every cubic inch of the room. We would survive once our luggage got there.
They promised our luggage would be in our rooms before dinner. They simply loaded it in giant containers straight from the airport into the belly of the ship, and then sorted it out. Marilyn came up to me and wrapped her arms around me. “We’re all alone in our honeymoon cabin. Whatever will we do to pass the time?”
I laughed and hugged her back. “Not as much as you’d like. I can guarantee that about two seconds after things get interesting somebody is going to barge through that door with our luggage! Are you that much of an exhibitionist?”
“Maybe not,” she answered ruefully. She looked over at the small built in desk and drawers, and noticed a bottle of champagne in an iced cooler, with a couple of flutes standing next to it. “Champagne?”
“Hmmm?” I turned and saw what she was pointing out. “Well, if we can’t fool around, let’s have a drink!” I opened the card next to the champagne and read it then passed it to Marilyn. It was from the travel agent. Next I pulled the bottle from the ice and twisted off the wire and popped the cork. Marilyn held the glasses up and I poured them.
We had barely sipped our champagne, when an intercom in the room loudly announced that the mandatory Coast Guard lifeboat practice would start at 2:15 in the afternoon, and that everybody needed to find their lifeboat station and show up there with their life jackets on. This had also been told us during the processing on the dock, and they were pretty serious about it. From past experience I knew they would check your names off a list and if you didn’t show up, they would track you down, and not too politely, either.
I found our life jackets in the closet, and found our lifeboat station on the back of the cabin door, and then we searched our map for where we were and how to get there. We finished off our champagne and I poured us some more from the bottle, just as a ship’s horn bellowed. It was almost two o’clock! I grabbed my life jacket and tossed it around my neck. “Let’s go!”
“Right now?” said Marilyn, startled.
“Sure, why not. We can go on deck, finish our champagne, and be at our life boat station.”
“Well, why don’t we leave our life jackets here?”
I smiled at her. “Because every other person on this boat is going to be doing that and getting lost and shuffling around with these idiot things on and clogging the passageways. You just watch and see if I’m wrong!”
Marilyn looked at me like I was nuts, but she grabbed her life jacket, too, although she carried it. Now, with me carrying my flute and the bottle, and leading the way, we went out into the hallway and towards the bow, to find an exit to the deck and our boat station. It was really just a lovely day. The ship had already started to pull away from the dock by the time we got there. It wasn’t at all like the Love Boat, but it never really was. By 2:15 we were already standing out into the seaways, and the swells around us were getting larger.
At 2:15 all sorts of horns and bells and alarms started going off, all over the ship. The intercom announced that the lifeboat drill was underway, and to get to your lifeboat station with your life jacket. No ifs, ands, or buts, it was mandatory! I poured the last of our champagne into our flutes and put the bottle on the deck, out of the way, and then handed Marilyn my glass while I did up my life jacket. Then I returned the favor. She got it wrong, but I showed her how to do it right. Around us was a barely controlled pandemonium, while passengers rushed around, generally lost, generally without their life jackets on or properly fixed, and generally at the wrong boat station. I just smiled at her. “What did I tell you?”
“You think you’re so smart!”
“Yes I do!” We traded raspberries at that. After about twenty minutes, during which time the crew practiced lowering a lifeboat and everybody else stood around and chattered, some more whistles and bells rang out and it was announced that we could leave. Cramming over 700 people back into the ship’s narrow hallways while everybody was wearing life jackets was silly. I spotted a bar along the way, and took Marilyn by the hand and led her in. We took off our life jackets and I ordered up another bottle of champagne. “We only live once, babe!”
Marilyn laughed at that, and we sipped our champagne, getting pleasantly, if lightly zonked, while the crowds passed by. Then it was our turn. I put my jacket back on over my head, since it was easier to carry that way, and we headed back to our cabin. Fortunately, our luggage had arrived! I immediately unpacked everything, and stuffed my mess dress into a dry cleaning bag, and then hit a button on the cabin telephone and called our room attendant. A little Filipino showed up about a minute later, and I gave him the bag, specifying it needed to be cleaned and pressed by Monday evening. He assured me it would be, and left.
I poured the last of our champagne into our glasses, and set the bottle aside. “Speaking of uniforms, you’re out of uniform,” I told Marilyn.
“Oh?”
“Well, we’re not flying now, are we? I think it’s time to get you into the spirit of things!” I set my glass down and wrapped my arms around her, and pointedly rubbed her bra catch through her top.
Marilyn laughed at that, and then grabbed my crotch. “The same goes for you, Mister!”
We laughed at that and fell onto the bed and wrestled our clothes off. Today, Marilyn got on top and rode me, while playing with her clit as I fondled her tits. Afterwards, she stretched out on top of me, and this time was a lot slower and sweeter. “I love you, Mrs. Buckman,” I told her afterwards.
Marilyn propped her face up on her hands, digging her elbows into my chest as she did so. “I like the way that sounds.”
I rolled over and relieved the pressure of her bony elbows to my chest. “I do, too.”
I rolled onto my back again, and raised my right arm and tucked it behind my head. That was when Marilyn noticed a Band-Aid under my arm. “What’s that?” she asked.