“Sure.” I looked over at Marilyn and said, “They’re way downstate, in Westchester County.”
“And you work in New York? I could never live or work in a big city like that,” commented Marilyn. I smiled at that. Marilyn really would go nuts in any sort of urban setting. Hell, she wasn’t all that thrilled living downtown in Albany when she went to St. Rose!
“Oh, I’d never want to work anywhere else!” gushed Melissa. “Of course, in our jobs, if you’re not in the city, you’re really nowhere.”
I looked at them curiously. “Oh? What do you do?”
We were interrupted at that point by an Asian waiter asking for our drink orders. Marilyn ordered a whiskey sour while I ordered a gin and tonic; our tablemates both ordered vodka martinis. “Hmm, what was that?” asked Harrison.
“I was just curious what you do, if you have to do it in New York.”
“Oh, yes, certainly. Well, I’m a consultant with McKinsey and Company. Strategic planning, that sort of thing.”
“And I’m a stock analyst with Merrill Lynch!” announced Melissa. “Airlines mostly. What about you? What do you do?”
“Well, nothing yet. I just graduated with my teaching degree though, so I’m going to try and get a job teaching,” answered Marilyn.
“Oh, a school teacher! That’s wonderful. That’s such an important job!” Melissa said this with the sincerest smile and the most insincere tone, as if it was definitely an unimportant job. School teachers were nice, since the public schools needed them, to teach the less fortunate. When they had children, if they had children, they would be sent to private academies, where they would be instructed by educators.
Marilyn really didn’t pick up on it, but she was simply a nice girl who had never met anybody like this pair before. She asked, “What’s a stock… well, whatever… do?”
“I work on Wall Street, of course, determining what stocks are really worth and reporting to our investors and clients. Private clients, really,” she replied. As opposed to the regular clients.
We both glanced over at Harrison. “I advise corporations, you know, the Fortune 500 types, on five and ten year strategies and planning, that sort of thing.” He was very pleased with himself.
“Sounds interesting,” I agreed. Corporate consulting — if we can’t make money solving your problem, we can certainly make money prolonging it!
It was fascinating watching these two. They were some of the most self absorbed baby boomer yuppie pond scum you could imagine! Quite a bit of their attitude was going right over Marilyn’s head, but not all of it. I just sat there nodding and making encouraging remarks as they talked about themselves through dinner. They were Important People, moving up the ladder to become More Important People, and in the due course of time, they would become Very Important People. This went on all through the soup and salad courses, and almost through the end of the entrée.
They were on their honeymoon, too. They had been sharing a condo near Central Park, but had just bought a new home in White Plains. Their reception had been at Tavern on the Green in Manhattan. At one point Melissa commented that she had hyphenated her last name when they got married. This served as a symbol that they were equal partners in their marriage, and that neither one of them was above the other. I had simply commented that I needed to change my name to Lefleur, to reflect who was the real boss of the family. Marilyn laughed and agreed with me.
“What about you, Cal? What do you do?” he asked. It was still only the middle of the main course, and I was expecting these two to keep on yapping about themselves until at least dessert.
“It’s Carl.”
“Sorry about that.” No, he really wasn’t.
“Nothing quite that exciting. I jump out of airplanes and kill people,” I answered.
Melissa and Harrison stopped talking and stared at me like I had just taken a dump on the table. Marilyn giggled and punched me in the shoulder. “You’re awful!” She turned to them. “He’s not really that bad.”
Harrison looked very confused at that. “What do you mean?”
“I’m a paratrooper in the 82nd Airborne at Fort Bragg,” I answered smiling.
“You’re a soldier?” asked Melissa. The look on her face was priceless, like she had just stepped in a pile of dogshit and couldn’t figure out how to wipe it off her shoe. ‘You’re a soldier?’ came out sounding like ‘You’re a child molester?’
“You bet. I’m a platoon leader in a battery of 105s, 1st of the 319th. Airborne all the way!” I said with a grin.
“Oh my!” She really didn’t know what to say to that.
Harrison did. “Oh, so you’re an officer then?”
I nodded. “Second Lieutenant.”
Well, an officer was at least somebody they might deign to converse with, although I was a junior officer. “So you must have gone to college then. Where was that? West Point?”
“Not quite. I was ROTC at Rensselaer, up in Troy. That’s where I met Marilyn, at a party there.”
“Oh, like a scholarship, then.” I nodded and smiled, curious how they could insult me next. “You couldn’t get any other scholarships?”
I damn near burst out laughing at that, but it was Marilyn who rescued me. My wife is not all that much in favor of the military, but she is very proud of me, military or not. She laid her hand on mine and squeezed it, probably because she thought I might punch this asshole. Then she said, “Oh, no, Carl could have gotten plenty of scholarships. He actually got his doctorate when he was 21.” I shrugged modestly.
They had both stopped eating and were staring at me like I had grown a second head. “You have a doctorate?” he asked.
“Applied mathematics.”
“Well, what in the world did you become a soldier for, then?”
I just smiled. “It’s a family tradition to serve and protect our country and her people. My father was Ivy League and served in the Navy. We even protect the yuppies and assholes.” Marilyn really squeezed my hand at that, but she had nothing to fear. I was having way too much fun with these two. I just started working on my dinner again. I had herb crusted lamb chops and they were simply outstanding!
Both Melissa and Harrison gave me weak smiles, and then excused themselves, stating they needed to get back to their cabin for a second. I smiled and stood and shook their hands again, and Marilyn waved good-bye, although there was a look of sheer hatred on her face.
I smiled at my wife and lifted her hand to my lips and kissed it. “What a lovely couple! So polite and friendly!” I commented to her.
Marilyn’s expression at that was priceless. “Are you kidding me? They’re, they’re… awful! I can’t even talk about them without getting mad!”
I grinned at her and nibbled my lamb chop. Marilyn hates lamb, so we never had it at home, but I just love it! “Really? Tell me more!” I teased.
“You think this is funny, don’t you?”
“No, I think it’s hilarious! Those two are the biggest pair of self-centered jackasses I’ve seen in years! Wait until tomorrow, when I show up in my dress uniform!”
“Well, I think they were just awful. Can we get a different table?”
I shrugged. “I’ll check for you. I thought they were funny.”
“Hmmpph!”
I smiled at my wife. “They’re you and me, you know.”
“What are you talking about?" she asked indignantly.
“If it was up to my mother, they would be us. I’d be a professional, married to a professional, and looking down on the lesser breeds like she does. Think about it.”