“I understand.”
“Why don’t we take a night to sleep on all this? I imagine it’s been a pretty intense day for you.”
My heart drops with a quick thud, and I’m ninety-nine percent sure he’s in the process of changing his mind about me.
“Why is your face falling like that?” The corner of his mouth twists up, revealing a flash of a dimple I’d give anything to run my fingertips against. “You think I’m letting you go? You think I’m going to change my mind?”
I nod, my head falling. He lifts it up, forcing our gazes to meet.
“I’m taking things slow. This night, this extra time to think things over, it’s all for you.” I get lost in his stormy eyes for a split second and forget about the absurdity of this entire arrangement. “My goal is to keep you constantly turned on and thinking of me. There’s no greater feeling than being wanted, Bellamy. So if you want to know what I get out of this power exchange? If it’ll help put your mind at ease? There you have it. I get off on knowing a beautiful woman can’t stop thinking of me. It’s a power trip like you wouldn’t believe, and one I’m fully addicted to.”
“So it’s about power and sex?” My voice comes out meeker than I intended, my vocal chords strained.
Dane’s lips spread wide. “That’s exactly what it’s about. Sex is power, Bellamy.”
He’s exactly right.
Sex.
Is.
Power.
SEVEN
BELLAMY
“How was your first day of work, sweetie?” My mother asks as if she cares.
Summer and Kath buzz about the kitchen, doing final prep work for dinner as the younger kids start ushering in from the family room. Dad should be home soon.
“How’s your boss?” Summer asks. “Do you like him? Or is it a her?”
I almost choke on my iced tea. “My boss is a man.”
“Okay, so tell us about him,” Summer pushes.
I crack a smile because it’s all I can do to relieve the intense pressure building inside me. I’ve got to frame his description in a way that doesn’t give away a thing, and for that, I need a bit more time.
Besides, I’m still trying to wrap my head around what I think of him.
“He’s just a regular boss.” My shoulder slinks up to my ear, and I shake my head. “You know, business suit. Doesn’t smile much. No nonsense.”
“I’ve never worked outside the home, so I wouldn’t know.” Mom juts her lips out and shrugs. If her eyebrows were lifted any higher, they’d fly off her face.
“I had a job once.” Summer glances off to the left. “Dairy farm. Dirty job. Stinky. But it was fun. Oh, and then I nannied for the farmer’s family. Two jobs. Same boss.”
Kath doesn’t speak; then again, she doesn’t speak much. She’s the calmest and quietest of the three of them. We don’t know much about her life before she met my father, just that she was married to some preacher who abused her. None of us know an ounce of the details, and none of us have the poor sense to go prying.
“Do you think you’ll like your new job then?” Summer hands me a stack of thin ceramic plates, and I make my way around the table with them.
“I think so. It’s still early, but it looks promising.” I set all but the last four plates, stopping momentarily to appreciate the buzzing that goes clear through to my fingertips.
What is that? Nerves? Excitement? Anticipation?
“What kinds of things will you be doing?” Mom asks.
My cheeks flush red out of nowhere. I’m not sure how Dane expects me to spend the afternoon in some sex lair and then go home like nothing happened. Scratch that. I’m not sure how I expected myself to be able to do that.
I drag in a slow, cleansing breath. “I don’t know yet. I’ll be assisting the CEO and probably doing a little bit of everything.”
Literally.
“Dad’s home!” One of my little brothers, True, comes ripping and snorting from down the hall, and the slam of the front door follows with my father’s footsteps growing close.
It’d be really great if I could compartmentalize everything…
Starting now.
“Hey, champ.” Dad ruffles True’s head and works his way to my mom, kissing her cheek. “And how’s Little Miss?”
Little Miss. The nickname I’ve still yet to outgrow even at twenty-two.
“Good.” I take a seat halfway down the table, sandwiched between Waverly’s spot and my other sister, Honor.
The doorbell chimes and several of us crank our necks to glance out the window.
“Who’s here?” Honor crinkles her nose.
“Not sure,” I mumble.
“Oh!” Mom wipes her hands on her apron and leans around us to peer at the driveway. She runs a smooth palm over her hair and tucks it behind her ears as she unties her apron. “It’s Cortland.”
“Cortland travels on Mondays.” I stand up, brows angled and unsure if I should work my way toward the door or not, but within seconds, Mom has beaten me to it.
My father catches my glance and nods toward the door, silently telling me to greet my suitor.
I can’t forget to feign excitement whenever he’s near, though it’s excruciatingly difficult when all I feel is a sick, heavy dread in the center of my chest when I see him. I slap a smile on my face and tiptoe to the foyer where my mother is gushing over something in her hand.
She turns to me and holds it out. “Look, Bellamy. I mentioned to Cortland last week that my favorite gold locket had cracked. He took it to his cousin who happens to own the jewelry store on Outpost Avenue. Had it fixed for me. Isn’t he the sweetest?”
Cortland grins like a harmless boy scout, his gaze traveling back and forth between us.
“I thought you were traveling today? The northeastern territory?” I ask.
“I stuck around town today,” he says. “Took care of a few local places. Swapped territories with my brother, Corbin. He’s been itching for new turf anyway. Think we might make it official. Besides, I’d like to be around more to get to know my future wife a little better.”
My insides twist like they’re caught in a vice grip. I loved that he traveled, and I loved that I only had to see him twice a week. The fact that he’ll be local now means he’s going to find every opportunity he can to come over.
“Have you eaten yet?” My mother extends the invitation I saw coming three seconds ago. Sometimes I think I know her better than she knows herself.
“Oh, I don’t want to impose, Mrs. Miller.” He answers her but looks at me.
“We’d love to have you.” I lie through my teeth and a close-mouthed half-smile. “I’ll set another place at the table.”
“You’re practically family,” my mother says, taking him by the arm and leading him away. “You’re always welcome here, Cortland.”
Minutes later, we’re scrunched at the table, side by side, our arms touching but our postures perfectly respectable. At one point his hand slips off his knee and onto mine under the shield of the tablecloth, but my fingers twitch and rise up to my hair, out of his reach.
He shoots me a glance, but I ignore it, so he spends the better part of the next several minutes kissing up to my father and showering my mothers with compliments galore.
My sister, Waverly, watches us from across the table with stars in her eyes, staring like I’m lucky to have found someone our father approved of.
If she only knew.
Halfway through dinner, I lose my appetite. It just up and walked off, along with my attention span and my thoughts, which are one million percent focused on my new job.
Well, Dane, if I’m being specific.
“Isn’t that right, Bellamy?” My father’s voice yanks me out of my otherworldly daydream.
“Beg your pardon?” If I pretend I didn’t hear him, I might be okay.
Cortland and my father exchange glances and share a light chuckle together like they’re a couple of old pals bonding.
“Your father said as a child you were addicted to chocolate ice cream. Said you wouldn’t do anything unless they bribed you with it,” my khaki-outfitted suitor says.