I walk away from him then, but before he starts his engine I’m almost sure I hear him say, “Trust me, I’m trying.”
* * *
By November—two months later—I’d settled into a routine in my doctoral program and had done my best to put Arrow out of my mind. After spending a long day doing observations at the zoo, I take a hot shower and put on my pajamas. I told my brother I would cook him dinner tonight, the one meal our mother used to make us whenever she was sober, which wasn’t very often. I’m glad to be able to spend some quality time with my big brother. He’s slowly becoming more open with me, as if he now believes I’m not going to up and leave every time he does something I don’t like.
I put on some music as I cook. First I marinate the chicken and put it in the oven, then steam the vegetables and make the mashed potatoes. I grin when Rake knocks at the door—apparently he’s learned his lesson about using that damn key. Wiping my hands on a dish towel, I rush to the front door. I shouldn’t be surprised when I open it and see not only Rake at the door but Tracker and Arrow as well, but I am.
Arrow has stayed away from me for the last month, avoiding me at every opportunity, and Rake never mentioned he was bringing anyone with him. Luckily I decided to cook a lot, thinking I’d enjoy the leftovers tomorrow. If I’d known they were coming over, I’d have invited Lana too.
I step aside so they can enter. Rake grins and kisses me on my forehead, and Tracker does the same. When Arrow steps through the door, I move away and follow behind Tracker. What the hell is he doing here?
“Smells good,” my brother says, grabbing a chair and taking a seat. “Next time I’m bringing Faye. She’d love this.”
Great, just what I need, watching the men fawn over her in my own house.
“Nice pj’s,” Tracker says, smirking at my baby-blue cotton tank top and pants. They have pink unicorns on them with sparkly manes.
“Thanks,” I reply. “Dinner’s still cooking.”
Tracker and Arrow take a seat, and I ignore the heated feel of his gaze on me.
“I had no idea our Anna Bell could cook,” Tracker says to my brother. I raise my eyebrow at “our Anna.”
“I can’t,” I insert. “Not really. I mean, I’ve mastered a couple of dishes and that’s the extent of my talent.”
“Anna used to cook for us when we were kids,” Rake says, glancing at me with a proud look on his face. “If it wasn’t for her we would have eaten bread every day.”
Arrow and Tracker don’t react to his statement, and I wonder just how much they know about our childhood.
“You guys want a beer?” I ask, heading to the fridge before they can reply. I set three beers in front of them, then check on the food while they chat and joke around with one another. When there’s another knock at the door, I have no idea who it could be. Rake gets up to answer it, and when he walks back in with Dex, aka Sin, the MC president, my eyes widen and my mouth drops open. Sin and I don’t really know each other. In fact, a head nod is the extent of our familiarity, which he gives me as he steps into my now extremely cramped kitchen and takes a seat at the table. I grab a beer and slide it over to him without a word. It’s almost like I’m at the bar.
I scan the four men’s faces. “Someone want to tell me what the fuck is going on?”
Rake is the one to reply. “We want you to move into the clubhouse.”
“Why?” I demand. I look around my little apartment, my own place, my independence. I like it here, and I’m not going anywhere.
“Because it’s safer,” he says gently. “And I’ll feel better knowing that you’re there.”
I clench my teeth together. “And you needed three other men to tell me this?”
His brows lower. “What? No, these guys were just hungry, and I’d been bragging about your cooking.”
Some of my anger evaporates.
Some.
“Well, I’ll happily feed all of you, but I’m not moving to the clubhouse,” I tell the lot of them, then turn my back and check on the chicken in the oven. When I close the oven and turn around, I come face-to-face with Sin. He’s a handsome man, nicely built with dark hair and eyes that see through you.
“You’re staying with us for a couple of days, and that is that,” he says, looking down at me. “We got some club business going on and I need Rake’s head in the game, not worrying about where his mouthy little sister is, you got me?”
I open my mouth, but then snap it shut. Rake had warned me about this—I needed to respect his president. I didn’t really respect him, because he’d done nothing to earn it from me, but I could fake it.
“A couple of days,” I grit out in reply, swallowing my pride. If I hear the words club business again I am going to stab someone.
Sin’s eyes soften. “Good. Faye will be there; she’ll take care of you.”
Faye and I don’t even know each other.
This was going to be awkward.
DINNER was a huge success, and the four of them cleaned their plates. Arrow was quiet throughout the meal, answering only when spoken to. I pretended he wasn’t there and eventually relaxed and enjoyed myself. I start to clean up and surprisingly, they all help. Even Sin—looks like Faye trained him right.
“Thanks for dinner,” Arrow says, coming to stand next to me.
“You’re welcome,” I reply, keeping my tone even.
“Even better than Mom’s, sis,” Rake tells me, coming behind me and wrapping his arms around me. I swallow hard at his casual affection, after wanting it for so long and finally getting it. The kisses on the forehead started a few weeks ago, and now this.
Progress.
“Thanks, Adam,” I say quietly. “I’m glad you enjoyed it.”
“I more than enjoyed it,” he says, then looks next to me at Arrow. “We should get back. Jill must be waiting for you at the clubhouse.”
Jill?
Who the hell is Jill?
I look at Arrow, who cringes slightly and rubs the back of his head. Oh, right, my woe-is-me eyes. I avert my gaze, not wanting him to feel guilty. He isn’t mine, and he can be with whomever he wants, even this Jill. I hate that she has a name, and that I now know it, but it isn’t his fault I’m stupid and can’t seem to stop myself from wanting him. I don’t even know him. I think I’ve been reading one too many romance novels.
“Jill does what she wants,” Arrow mumbles. “She isn’t mine.”
Rake chuckles. “I heard you were keeping her busy.”
“Is this what I’m going to have to listen to when I stay at the clubhouse? If so, I’d rather take my chances here,” I say, regretting it as soon as I say it.
Great, let him see just how much it affects you.
“Calm down,” Rake tells me. “It’ll be fun, I promise.”
“Define fun,” I say. “You guys get to fuck and drink and screw around; I don’t get to do any of those things.”
Rake clears his throat, suddenly looking extremely uncomfortable. “You can drink.”
I spin around and shoot him a glare. “Thank you for your permission.”
He frowns. “What is this really about, Anna?”
I throw my hands in the air. I can’t say what this is really about, which is the fact that I am angry and hurt over the fact I have just heard that Arrow has someone and that I am going to have to face this woman. I am jealous, and the thought of Arrow with another woman is killing me. Burning me from the inside out.
“I have no freedom,” I tell him.
Which is also true, but I am overreacting and I know it.
Sin looks to Rake. “I went through this with Faye. Give her a little space, brother. I know you want to protect her, and we all will, but she’s young and needs to live a little too.”
I smile gratefully at my unlikely savior. “Thank you, Sin.” He just earned my respect.