Arthur & George

'That's very good of you. Then tell me about the Captain.'

'What Captain?'

'You tell me.'

'I don't know anyone called the Captain. Unless you mean Captain Anson.'

'Don't try impertinence with me, George. We know you visit the Captain at Northfield.'

'I have never been to Northfield in my life, as far as I am aware. On what dates am I supposed to have visited Northfield?'

'Tell me about the Great Wyrley gang.'

'The Great Wyrley gang? Now you are talking like a shilling shocker, Inspector. I have never heard anyone speak of such a gang.'

'When did you meet Shipton?'

'I know no one called Shipton.'

'When did you meet Lee the porter?'

'The porter? A station porter, do you mean?'

'Let's call him a station porter, if that's what you're telling me.'

'I know no porters called Lee. Though for all I know I may have greeted porters not knowing their names, and one of them might have been called Lee. The porter at Wyrley amp; Churchbridge is called Janes.'

'When did you meet William Greatorex?'

'I know no one… Greatorex? That boy on the train? The one who goes to Walsall Grammar School? What's he got to do with this?'

'You tell me.'

Silence.

'So are Shipton and Lee members of the Great Wyrley gang?'

'Inspector, my answer to that is fully implied in my previous answers. Please do not insult my intelligence.'

'Your intelligence is important to you, isn't it, Mr Edalji?'

Silence.

'It's important to you to be more intelligent than other people, isn't it?'

Silence.

'And to demonstrate that greater intelligence.'

Silence.

'Are you the Captain?'

Silence.

'Tell me exactly what your movements were yesterday.'

'Yesterday. I went to work as usual. I was at my office at Newhall Street all day, except for when I ate my sandwiches in St Philip's Place. I returned as usual, about six thirty. I transacted some business-'

'What business?'

'Some legal business I had brought from the office. The conveyancing of a small property.'

'And then?'

'Then I left the house and walked to see Mr Hands the bootmaker.'

'Why?'

'Because he is making me a pair of boots.'

'Is Hands in on this too?'

Silence.

'And?'

'And I talked to him while he made a fitting. Then I walked around for a while. Then I returned shortly before nine thirty for my supper.'

'Where did you walk?'

'Around. Around the lanes. I walk every day. I never really pay attention.'

'So you walked over towards the Colliery?'

'No, I don't think so.'

'Come on, George, you can do better than this. You said you walked in every direction but you didn't remember which. One of the directions from Wyrley is towards the Colliery. Why wouldn't you walk in that direction?'

'If you will give me a moment.' George pressed his fingers to his forehead. 'I remember now. I walked along the road to Churchbridge. Then I turned right towards Watling Street Road, then to Walk Mill, then along the road as far as Green's farm.'

Campbell thought this very impressive for someone who didn't remember where he walked. 'And who did you meet at Green's farm?'

'No one. I didn't go in. I don't know those people.'

'And who did you meet on your walk?'

'Mr Hands.'

'No. You met Mr Hands before your walk.'

'I'm not sure. Did you not have one of your special constables following me? You need only consult the man to get a full account of my movements.'

'Oh, I will, I will. And not just him either. So then you had your supper. And then you went out again.'

'No. After supper I went to bed.'

'And then got up later and went out?'

'No, I have told you when I went out.'

'What were you wearing?'

'What was I wearing? Boots, trousers, jacket, overcoat.'

'What sort of coat?'

'Blue serge.'

'The one that hangs by the kitchen door where you leave your boots?'

George frowned. 'No, that's an old house-coat. I wore one I keep on the hall stand.'

'Then why was your coat by the back door damp?'

'I have no idea. I haven't touched that coat for weeks, if not months.'

'You wore it last night. We can prove it.'

'Then this is clearly a matter for the court.'

'The clothes you were wearing last night had animal hairs on them.'

'That's not possible.'

'Are you calling your mother a liar?'

Silence.

'We asked your mother to show us the clothes you were wearing last night. She did so. Some of them had animal hairs on them. How do you explain that?'

'Well, I do live in the country, Inspector. For my sins.'

'For your sins? But you don't milk cows and shoe horses, do you?'

'That is self-evident. Perhaps I leaned on a gate into a field which had cows in it.'

'It rained last night and your boots were wet this morning.'

Silence.

'That is a question, Mr Edalji.'

'No, Inspector, that is a tendentious statement. You have examined my boots. If they were wet, it does not surprise me. The lanes are wet at this time of year.'

'But the fields are wetter, and it rained last night.'

Silence.

'So you are denying that you left the Vicarage between the hours of 9.30 p.m. and daybreak?'

'Later than daybreak. I leave the house at 7.20.'

'But you cannot possibly prove that.'

'On the contrary. My father and I sleep in the same room. Each night he locks the door.'

The Inspector stopped in his tracks. He looked across at Parsons, who was still writing the last words down. He'd heard some jerry-built alibis in his time, but really… 'I'm sorry, but could you repeat what you just said?'

'My father and I sleep in the same room. Each night he locks the door.'

'How long has this… arrangement been going on?'

'Since I was ten.'

'And you are now?'

'Twenty-seven.'

'I see.' Campbell doesn't see at all. 'And your father – when he locks the door – you know where he puts the key?'

'He doesn't put it anywhere. He leaves it in the lock.'

'So it is perfectly easy for you to leave the room?'

'I have no need to leave the room.'

'Call of nature?'

'There is a pot beneath my bed. But I never use it.'

'Never?'

'Never.'

'Very well. The key is always in the lock. So you would not have to go hunting for it?'

'My father is a very light sleeper, and is currently suffering from lumbago. He wakes very easily. The key makes a very loud squeak when it turns.'

It was all Campbell could do not to laugh in the man's face. Who did he take them for?

'That all seems remarkably convenient, if you don't mind my saying, sir. Have you never thought of oiling the lock?'

Silence.

'How many razors do you own?'

'How many razors? I don't own a razor.'

'But you do shave, I presume?'

'I shave with one of my father's.'

'Why are you not trusted with your own razor?'

Silence.

'How old are you, Mr Edalji?'

'I have already answered that question three times today. I suggest you consult your notes.'

'A twenty-seven-year-old man who is not allowed a razor and is locked in his bedroom every night by his father who is a light sleeper. You realize what an exceptionally rare individual you are?'

Silence.

'Exceptionally rare, I'd say. And… tell me about animals.'

'That's not a question, that's a fishing expedition.' George realized the incongruity of his reply, and couldn't help smiling.

'My apologies.' The Inspector was becoming increasingly riled. He'd gone easy on the man so far. Well, it wouldn't take much to turn a conceited lawyer into a snivelling schoolboy. 'Here is a question, then. What do you think about animals? Do you like them?'

'What do I think about animals? Do I like them? No, generally, I do not like them.'

'I might have guessed that.'

'No, Inspector, let me explain.' George had sensed a hardening in Campbell 's attitude, and thought it good tactics to relax his rules of engagement. 'When I was four, I was taken to see a cow. It soiled itself. That is almost my first memory.'