"Until I came along," I said proudly.
Immu did not answer… but her translation mist gave another angry fizz.
"Why did you do it?" Festina asked the Shaddill. "Why create this elaborate lie about the limitations of FTL fields?"
"To slow you down," Esticus said. "To disrupt your species’ development. And to make sure our own vessel was always much faster than the craft of lesser races."
"Surely you’ve realized by now," Immu said, "everything we do is aimed at weakening you. We approach cultures as they start into space; we offer them technology and flawed but plausible scientific models that completely bypass certain discoveries those races would otherwise make on their own." The cloud above Immu’s head split into two hemispheres with a slight gap between left and right. "We create a discontinuity in a species’ scientific progress," she said. "We give them devices they don’t understand and won’t understand, because they’ve been deflected from developing the necessary scientific background."
"And of course," Festina said, "you place robot agents in positions of authority to make sure the background science is never filled in."
"Exactly," Immu agreed, her cloud fusing together again. "Our robot replacements control the purse-strings for almost all research in your sector. If someone begins to investigate topics we dislike, that person is diverted to a different project." A part of her cloud spun off on its own. "When that doesn’t work — and scientists often prove difficult to sidetrack — we take steps to remove the irritant." A strand of fog lashed out from the main ball of mist, struck the little separate piece, and pulled it back into the whole again… like a frog swallowing a fly. "The annoyingly keen scientist simply disappears, and ends up in a comfortable holding facility on this very ship: a facility you’ll soon see for yourself."
Festina lifted the muzzle of her stun-pistol. "Think again."
Immu made the raspy throat-noise. This time it definitely sounded like laughter. "You obtained that gun from our robots. Do you believe we would arm them with weapons that would affect us?" "You might," Festina replied. "For all your fancy technology, you don’t seem very smart."
"We aren’t," Esticus whispered. Immu gave him another hip-bump, this time making no effort to conceal it. She also made a hissing sound and clacked her mandibles in a gesture that was clearly a Shaddill shorthand for, "Shut up, you fool!"
"Here’s what I think," Festina said. "I think five thousand years ago, your people were science whizzes who built this ship and a lot of other fancy stuff. Somewhere along the line, you developed a way to evolve to a higher state of being — to make yourselves smart as all hell, even if you ended up looking like blobs of purple jelly." She glanced at the liquid spurting out of the fountain. "What’s this stuff called?"
There was a pause. The clouds over both Shaddill heads dimmed, as if they were trying to deal with some difficult concept and had to use all their power for the translation process. Finally, the mist above Esticus spoke softly: "Blood Honey," it said.
Immediately, both speaker clouds brightened to their usual golden luster… or perhaps a bit shinier than before, greatly pleased with themselves for devising an elegant translation of the actual Shaddill name.
"Blood Honey," Festina repeated. "Cute. Anyway, your people built Blood Honey fountains so you could all advance together. You carefully cleaned up the worlds where you lived, then you prepared to jelly out. The only problem was, some of you didn’t like the idea of turning into purple goop. I think it scared you shitless. So when everybody else went to bathe in the fountains, a bunch of you just turned tail. You buggered off on this ship, and you’ve been running ever since."
"You mean," I said, "these Shaddill ones are cowards? All others of their kind pursued Celestial Transcendence, while these turned away in fear?" I glared at the two furry beetles with contempt. Suddenly, I understood why Esticus had called himself Tahpo: the dregs.
"So how many of you are left?" Festina asked the beetles. "Hundreds? Thousands? Millions? Or could it be you two are the only ones who didn’t have the guts to change?"
Immu didn’t answer — just turned her head away and lowered her gaze to the floor. Her mandibles fell still, as if she were paralyzed with shame. Finally, it was Esticus who spoke, his fog-cloud dim and drooping.
"There were others once," he said. "Many others. It isn’t an easy thing to contemplate changing to the Soft Form even when you’ve been assured it will… expand your horizons."
He closed his eyes: great brown eyelids rolled down from his forehead. "Once upon a time, this vessel was full of Tahpo. We spoke as if we were on a grand adventure — the last of our race, a single brave ship against a hostile galaxy. A grand, most noble adventure… and we formed a plan we all agreed was necessary for our survival. We would undermine lesser races before they could become our equals. There weren’t enough of us to compete any other way; our only defense was sabotage. So we all agreed. We all…"
Esticus’s mandibles suddenly clenched tight against each other. They squeezed for a long shuddering moment; then they fell limp and motionless. "We all agreed. But over the years — the long, long years — the others left, one by one. They found the courage to change… or perhaps it wasn’t courage but despair. Despair at what our lives had become."
Esticus sighed. "In a way, we’d become as lifeless and tired as the alien species we subverted. We all knew it. As the centuries passed, our comrades listened to the voices of… of those who had changed in the fountains." He paused. "The Soft Ones speak to us now and then. Or at least they used to. I haven’t heard them in years; perhaps they’ve given up on Immu and me. But when there were more of us, the Soft Ones whispered how profound their lives had become since the transformation… and slowly the other Tahpo surrendered. We’d discover that one of our number had vanished; we’d come to this room, and the fountain would be bubbling smugly."
He opened his eyes and looked over at his mate. "Immu always turned off the Blood Honey and let the fountain drain… but eventually, the basin would be full again and another of us would be gone. Until…"
Esticus’s voice trailed off.
"You are the only two left," Festina said. "Aren’t you?"
"Yes," Esticus whispered. "We are the greatest cowards of our race."
He closed his eyes again. The two Shaddill stood there, huddled against each other in silence.
The Effects Of Blood Honey
They did not hold the pose long. Immu suddenly lifted her head and glared at us, her mandibles once more working furiously. "So!" she said. "Now you know how pathetic my mate and I are. No doubt you’ll have a good laugh about it… once you’re locked in our jail."
"I would not enjoy imprisonment," I told her. "That would be unfair treatment… and I am fed up with cruelty at your hands. You gave me a Tired Brain! You made all my people that way! And since you first appeared above Melaquin, you have hounded me unmercifully for no good reason."
"There was a reason," Esticus said. "I don’t know whether you’d consider it good…"
He turned toward Immu with what I suspect was a pleading expression. Immu made an unpleasant grunting noise, as if she really did not wish to explain; but gazing on Esticus’s face, she relented. "When we picked up the Rhee and Macleod robots from New Earth," Immu said, "they told us a woman had died on Melaquin four years ago." The fog cloud above Immu’s head reshaped into an arrow pointing in my direction. "Few among your people ever die… and we thought we could use your corpse."