"Husband," Lajoolie said in a soft voice, "there is some potential in what you suggest."
Uclod snorted. "I didn’t suggest anything. Do you think I want to splash ourselves all over space on the off-chance—"
She interrupted, "Starbiter has emergency ejection procedures. And the human ship is right here to pick us up afterward."
"Aww, no, sweetheart…" The little man’s voice filled with horror. "We can’t—"
"We cannot what?" I asked.
"We can’t!" Uclod repeated.
Lajoolie said nothing.
I opened my mouth to demand an explanation; but before I could speak, Starbiter shuddered and everything went black.
A Noble Sacrifice
At first, I thought we were under attack — perhaps the stick-ship had assaulted us with a sinister Blinding Weapon, robbing us of our sight. I had seen no beam or missile shoot in our direction, but I had been listening to my companions rather than paying attention to the Shaddill. It would be just like those villains to commit an atrocity while I was distracted.
But moments later, the intestinal hood jerked off my face and I could see again. The ship’s bridge showed no sign of damage… though I noticed the mouth of the exit corridor had sealed itself. Beside me, the hoods came snapping off Uclod and Lajoolie too: a fierce yanking motion as if Starbiter were polling the guts away with all her strength.
Uclod cried to his wife, "Did you do that? Did you disengage the controls?"
"It wasn’t Madame Lajoolie," said a voice beside me. "Starbiter is taking independent action."
I was still strapped tightly in my chair, but I could turn my head far enough to see who was speaking: Nimbus, the infuriating cloud man. His ghostly mist was clotted thick and murky around the chair to my right.
"What do you mean," Uclod asked, "independent action?"
"Starbiter was linked with your mind," Nimbus said, "She saw the idea that flashed through your head… and she knew you’d never go through with it on your own. She informed me she was taking the initiative herself."
"Aww, no," Uclod groaned. "Aww, baby, no."
The bridge shuddered again. From beyond the closest wall came a fierce ripping noise, wet and gooey. Uclod covered his face with his hands.
"What is happening?" I asked.
"When a Zarett is in mortal danger," Nimbus said, "she can eject her passengers to save their lives."
Another ripping sound tore across the room, this time from the opposite wall.
"But the passengers are housed in the Zarett’s lungs," Nimbus said. "For us to escape, Starbiter has to expel a sizable wad of pulmonary tissue. She can’t survive such an injury."
"You mean she will…" I did not finish my sentence. Starbiter would die? My fine bouncy Starbiter? But I did not want her to die.
"She thinks she can save us," Uclod said, tears trickling down his cheeks. "Rip herself apart. Send us shooting to safety, then ram the main mass of her body into the Shaddill like a cannonball." He caught his breath. "Oh, my crazy little girl…"
The entire bridge chamber jerked twice to the right, as if there was some stubborn attachment on the left that refused to pull free. One more lurch, and I heard something snap. Then we were moving, pushed off sideways by muscles that must exist for this purpose alone — to let my friend Starbiter commit suicide.
O Starbiter! You foolish one!
Rips And Tears
Our journey outward was not smooth, but a series of jerky jumps: ramming against a blockage of tissue, bouncing back, then bashing through the barrier. Things squished and popped all around us. I did not wish to imagine what internal organs were being crushed by our passage, what long strands of meat were left bloodily behind… but never once did Starbiter falter. Though she was ripping a portion of lung from her body, she did it with all her strength.
In addition to the terrible rending and gurgling, the light had begun to fade. The great fuzzy beds of fungus on the wall were dimming their phosphorescence like a grass fire burning itself out. Uclod had said the fungus derived sustenance from Starbiter’s own tissues; now, as my friend disemboweled herself, perhaps the fungus’s nutrition supply had been cut off. Either the icky fuzz was dying of starvation, or it had some instinct to go dark as a way to conserve energy when its food supply was interrupted.
Meanwhile, the banging and bumping of our trip was loosening the fungus’s grip on the wall. Off to my right, a sheet of the stuff peeled away with a whispering sigh, its yellow glow snuffed in an instant as it toppled heavily to the floor. The bare wall behind was nothing but a clear membrane, transparent except for three big splotches of pinkish fluid: Starbiter’s blood. As we jerked forward again, I could see fierce shivers beyond the membrane, unknown organs shuddering with pain as we passed.
Another patch of fungus slumped off, this one from the ceiling over Lajoolie’s head. The big woman batted it away with one arm; it hit the floor beside her with a thud. More thuds sounded all over the room, as other clumps of fungus fell… until the floor was heaped with crumples of buttercup yellow, and the walls and ceilings were nothing but bare membrane. Any patch of wail I looked at, I could see straight through into Starbiter’s guts. Gouts of fluid slapped against the outer tissues; strands of connecting fiber snapped as we barreled forward, bashing our way through. Closing my eyes I could shut out the sight, but I still heard the splashing and splitting of gristle…
…then it all went silent. A deep deep quiet. And I felt myself shift under the straps that bound me to my chair, as if my own weight no longer held me down.
"Artificial gravity’s gone," Uclod said in a whisper. "We just passed the edge of the field."
I opened my eyes. Through the clear membrane, I saw we were not quite separate from Starbiter. we poised half-in, half-out of a great rupture in her side, as if we were an egg she was trying to lay. In one direction was the blackness of space, with stars smearily visible through vacuum-dried smudges of Zarett blood. In the other direction was noble Starbiter herself, her damaged body straining for one last push to shove us free. I could see muscles bunch and contract… then with a great heave, we were hurled tumbling away.
My friend Starbiter vanished is a heartbeat — an FTL cannonball shooting through the night. Seeing with my naked eyes rather than long-range scanners, I could barely make out the stick-ship… but there was no way to miss the flash of blazing light that reached us thirty seconds later. For a moment, I feared the Shaddill had fired their unconsciousness ray again; then I realized I had just seen Starbiter’s death as she bravely struck our enemies.
Whatever she had hit, it made a fine explosion.
Grief And New Burdens
The stick-ship was not obliterated, but it did not come any closer — it simply remained hanging in space, an image no bigger than my thumbnail.[6] From this range, there was no way to guess the extent of the damage… but I had faith Starbiter would have aimed for the most vulnerable spot she could find.
[6] — For examining distant objects, it is very convenient to be able to see through your thumb, nail and all. The curve of my nail gives a slight magnification; if I line up my thumbs at the right distance in front of my eye, I can get a telescope effect.
She was an excellent Zarett.
Beside me, Uclod snuffled into his hands. Lajoolie did not weep; but she rested her fingers on her husband’s shoulder and stared at him with sympathy. At last, the little man took a shuddering breath. "She died alone."
"She did it for us," Lajoolie told him. "She did it gladly."
"But she died alone!" He pounded one hand on his chair, then turned around sharply to glare at Nimbus. "She was your mate, for God’s sake. Why didn’t you go with her?"