"At this point," Immu answered, "I’m willing to take the gamble."
"And it isn’t really a gamble," Esticus said, scurrying up beside his wife. "We’ve done everything possible to check that the honey’s okay. So long as we make our best efforts to ensure Oar’s safety, we won’t be held responsible if something goes wrong." He reached out tentatively to touch my arm. "It’ll transform you into something amazing. Really."
I pulled sharply away from him. "I do not find jelly amazing. I should very much hate turning soft."
"But," said Immu, "it will cure your Tired Brain."
Suddenly, I felt as if everything in the world had gone silent. The fountain continued to burble, the Shaddill swished their mandibles together, Festina breathed softly… yet those sounds all seemed very distant. Very quietly I said, "It will cure my brain?"
"Yes," Immu replied, her translation cloud sliding closer to me. "The honey adjusts cellular activity and
DNA… especially anything related to mental capacity. It vastly expands your intellectual power; and in the process, it will correct the genetic blockages that make your brain Tired."
"That’s right," Esticus put in most eagerly. "We’ve, uhh… you’re not the first of your people who’s gone through this test. Back at the very beginning, when we were certain the Blood Honey was still good, we… we captured one of your men and we… he thanked us afterward, he really did. Before he left to join the Soft Collective. He thanked us, then teleported away by sheer force of will. So there’s nothing to be afraid of, and everything to be gained."
I turned to look at the fountain, still gushing with thick-flowing honey. Out near the edge of the basin, the surface of the pool was calm — like a mirror of clear crimson, barely rippled by the splashing in the middle.
It did not surprise me to see two fiery red eyes glimmering up from the liquid’s glossy surface.
The Pollisand had led me to this room. He had promised to cure me, and guided me straight to the remedy I needed. He had simply neglected to mention the medicine would turn me into purple gloop.
One should never trust alien promises. I ought to have known that by now.
"Perhaps someday," I said, "it will become necessary for me to take this step." I turned to Festina. "If I become such a one as does nothing for weeks on end and refuses to answer no matter how nicely you speak, you have my permission to take drastic action rendering me into a jellylike state. But not yet!" I glared at the two Shaddill. "Do you hear me? I do not wish to bathe in Blood Honey at this time."
"Perhaps not," Immu answered, "but you’re going to anyway."
Her great shovel-tail swept up from the floor. She intended to smack me into the fountain; but Festina was ready for such a tactic. My friend shot her hands forward, striking nasty little Immu hard in the chest with the heels of both palms. Immu staggered back, her aim spoiled; instead of striking me, the tail’s chitin edge swept harmlessly past, barely grazing my jacket sleeve.
Even that tiny graze was enough to slice a gash in the jacket fabric. The tail was strong and fast and sharp… and it was still whipping wildly through the air as Immu tried to regain her balance. Esticus squealed and ducked as the shovel-scoop slashed past him; I tried to catch the tail, but it plunged away from me, spearing into the soil beside my feet. In a split-second, the shovel was snapping up again, jerking clots of dirt loose as it freed itself from the hard-packed earth. I stomped down hard, hoping I could pin the tail under my heel… but it moved too fast, swishing out of range before my foot touched the floor.
For all their foolish appearance, the Shaddill were fast and elusive. Then again, what does one expect from cowards?
Immu may have evaded me, but she was not so lucky with my Faithful Sidekick. Festina stepped right onto the alien’s rabbit-like foot and slammed another double palm-heel into Immu’s chest. With her one foot trapped, Immu could not backpedal to keep her balance; she toppled back heavily, twisting at the last moment so she hit the floor with her shoulder rather than flat on her spine. Festina tried to press her advantage, jumping forward with the obvious intention of delivering a punch or kick… but Immu still had the use of her tail. It swept up fast and hard, not well-aimed but as dangerous as a swinging ax. Festina was forced to dodge out of the sharp shovel’s reach.
"Stop!" Esticus cried. "Stop, stop, stop!"
He was still crouched down, exactly where he had landed after ducking Immu’s tail. His own tail was tucked tight beneath him; he showed no sign of joining the fight. And yet… he had spoken in Shaddill-ese, not English. That was because his translation cloud was gone — it had vanished in the past few seconds, while I was concentrating elsewhere. Had the cloud’s component bits been scattered by Immu’s tail as it swept through the air? Or had the cringing Esticus sent his cloud on some terrible mission?
A look of horror passed over Festina’s face. Suddenly, she began to choke.
26: WHEREIN I FACE THE GREATEST RISK OF ALL
Four Starbiter Lookalikes
Esticus was only a step away. I planted my foot on his tail, just below the scoop so he could not swing it. Then I grabbed him by the wrists and heaved him up as high as I could lift. Since I was so much taller, he ended up dangling by his arms, feet off the ground.
In this position, I did not have to worry about his claws or tail, and I held him out far enough that he could not reach me with his mandibles. That only left his feet… and with haunches like a rabbit, he was well built for kicking at things behind his back, but not so good for attacking persons in front of him. Anyway, he seemed too scared to put up a fight — his mandibles trembled, his eyelids fluttered, and he made anxious grunts in his throat.
I too may have uttered the occasional grunt. A creature of Esticus’s size may not be as heavy as a human, but it took great strength to hold him hanging in that position. There was no chance of keeping him suspended for more than a minute… but with luck, that was all the time I needed.
"Let Festina go!" I shouted into his face. "Whatever you are doing, stop at once."
Esticus did not answer. Neither did Immu. As for Festina, she was clutching her throat and making horrible wheezing sounds. It had to be the work of the missing translation clouds… for Immu’s cloud had disappeared too. I could imagine billions of translation nanites crowding inside my friend, sealing off her windpipe, clotting up her lungs. She was still on her feet, having staggered back to get away from Immu’s tail; but her face was turning dark with blood, and her eyes were bulging. With the hand that was not at her throat, she raised her stun-pistol and fired at Immu.
Immu gave a raspy laugh. "I told you. Those guns don’t work on us."
"Let Festina go!" I yelled at the two Shaddill. "Perhaps the gun cannot hurt you, but I surely can." I gave Esticus a shake and he gasped out a hiss.
"You’re the one who should let go," Immu said, speaking in my own language. Without the translation cloud, her voice was nothing more than a whisper. "We have enough nanites to choke you too."
"Do not try," I said. "If I feel the smallest tickle in my throat, Esticus will regret it." At that, Esticus wriggled and squirmed, trying to slip from my grip. He could not. The foolish Shaddill had made me stronger than they were themselves.
Immu got to her feet, her tail lashing angrily around her haunches. I turned quickly, placing Esticus between me and his wife as a protective shield.
"Lajoolie!" I shouted. "Sergeant Aarhus! Nimbus and Uclod! Could you please lend me assistance?"