‘Thanks for this. And believe me I’ll put it all to good use to try and tip Governor Candaret’s hand — but right now that’s not the problem.’ Jac grimaced tightly. ‘The immediate hurdle is not whether we can convince the State not to execute Durrant — but whether or not he wants to live. Because he tells me flat out that he doesn’t want to. He’s tired, had enough, and doesn’t even want me to put in a clemency plea on his behalf. He wants to die. His “Ascension Day”, he calls it.’
‘Oh, that.’ From Rodriguez’ tone, it wasn’t clear whether ‘that’ referred to Durrant’s admission of wanting to die, or his religion.
‘He’s shared this with you before? His wanting to die?’
‘Yeah, a couple of times.’ Rodriguez shrugged. ‘But yer know — we all go through that in here from time to time. So down and weary of it all that we just want “out”. And if we can’t actually get out — then that becomes the alternative.’ Rodriguez shook his head. ‘But when it came t’ the crunch — possible clemency on one hand and execution the other — I didn’t think he’d actually go t’rough with it. That’s sad to know. Sad and bad.’ Rodriguez looked down morosely for a second, all the verve suddenly gone from his eyes. ‘You tried pushin’ him? Didn’t just take it first-off that’s what he wanted?’
‘Yes, tried everything. Even that he needed to hang around to watch your back. That you wouldn’t last long in here without him.’
‘Nice to know that tactic was so effective.’ Rodriguez smiled briefly. ‘You know, on occasion when he got down and brought this subject up ‘bout wantin’ to die — I’d josh him, how could he? And miss out on all my good jokes over the next ten years? Even jus’ making fun of Tally Shavell and takin’ him down a notch or two was surely worth the ticket price of those extra years. And after that sly laugh of his, he’d pat me on the shoulder and say that I’d already brightened his days ‘nough for a hundred years. He’d never forget me.’ Rodriguez shook his head. ‘Never forget me. I should have caught on then that he was more serious ‘bout it than I thought.’
Jac realized then that the association between them, at least from Rodriguez to Durrant, had been mostly jocular and bantering, with Rodriguez constantly trying to lift Durrant’s mood whenever he was gloomy or down. It might have felt out of place for Rodriguez to suddenly step out of that mould and get serious, start probing Durrant whether he really wanted to die, or what had made him feel that way? Perhaps Rodriguez too, to keep his own psyche upbeat, wouldn’t have wanted to hear the answers.
‘That’s the main reason I’m here now, Mr Rodriguez — apart from hearing your account of what happened that night in the boiler room with Shavell. To find out if there’s anything you can think of that might convince Larry Durrant to want to continue living. Anything?’
Rodriguez looked uncomfortable. ‘I don’t know. Dealin’ out his innermost thoughts and secrets where he might not want it — that’s not what me and him are all ‘bout. He’s a very private guy. And, I mean, if he’s already made his mind up — maybe we should respect that.’ Rodriguez met Jac’s eyes steadily for a second before casting them to one side, some darker shadows settling into them. ‘Larry was in here five years ‘fore I even got here, you know. And if things ain’t bad ‘nough here now — Libreville was a much more brutal, unforgivin’ place then. The highest inmate murder rate of any prison nationwide. God knows what those years might have done to him — in here, man, yer know.’ Rodriguez tapped his chest with his fist, then pointed to the books, forcing a smile. ‘Also, it ain’t as if he’s the easiest guy to sway. Now he’s got to the point of thinkin’ he knows better than Salinger and Steinbeck — what the hell difference do you think you or I are gonna make?’
Jac looked down, conceding the point. He’d found much the same with Durrant, defiant and immovable. In their last meeting, he’d seen only one small chink of possible weakness.
‘Durrant’s son, Joshua?’ Jac asked. ‘What can you tell me about their association? When I mentioned the boy — it seemed to be the only thing to create some doubt in Durrant’s mind. If only for a moment.’
Rodriguez looked even more uneasy. He raised a sharp eyebrow. ‘Larry’s family? Oooooh no. Definite no-go area. Larry guards them more jealously than any other secrets he might hold. I wouldn’ dream of — ’
‘Look, Mr Rodriguez,’ Jac cut in impatiently, looking at his watch. He’d done nothing but bash his head against a brick wall so far with Durrant, he was damned if he was going to do the same with Rodriguez. ‘In forty-one days, Larry Durrant is going to die — if anyone in the state of Louisiana in fact needed reminding. And at that point, what his family means to him, or in turn him to them, is going to have little relevance — except in memory. So you’ll perhaps excuse me if I appear not to have much time for your tip-toeing around prison protocol and what might or might not seem right between you and Larry Durrant.’
Rodriguez fired Jac a similar sly, challenging smile to Durrant’s when he’d finally conceded the other day, ‘You’re good.’ But then his expression quickly sank back into doubt as he weighed up his position.
‘Look, there was somethin’ that happened recently with Larry’s son, Joshua,’ he said finally, looking up. He bit lightly at his bottom lip, as if still uncertain he was doing the right thing. ‘But if I say anythin’ — it wasn’t from me, okay? I got ‘nough injuries already, without having to put up with a neck brace for a few months.’
Jac smiled and nodded his assent.
‘And I say that not just because of breakin’ protocols between myself and Larry,’ Rodriguez continued, ‘but ‘cause of the confidences I should keep as one of the main men in the communication room. On both counts I shouldn’t be saying anythin’ about this.’
Jac met the concern in Rodriguez’ eyes with a more solemn gaze, and nodded again. ‘I understand.’
Rodriguez shuffled slightly in his seat, as if he was still getting comfortable with what he was about to say. ‘I don’t know whether Larry has told you or not — but he’s had very little contact with his son over the years. The first five years in here, Francine didn’t visit, so no contact at all. Then when she did start finally visitin’, at most once or twice a year — she only brought Joshua occasionally, maybe one in every three visits. So, eighteen months or two whole years would roll by without him seein’ his son. As a result, he’s only seen Josh a handful of times in all the years he’s been in here. And when Francine did bring him, she’d make sure to keep the boy in the background. “Say hello to your pa. Good. Now you sit back there like a good boy while we talk.” Maybe only a handful of sentences, too, have therefore passed ‘tween him and the boy.’ Rodriguez shook his head. ‘It’s been one of Larry’s greatest sources of guilt and regret, that boy.
‘In particular because of the promise he made to Francine at the time.’ Rodriguez paused as he levelled his gaze at Jac. ‘When Josh was born, he promised Francine: “That’s it! No more robberies”. Then just three months down the line he’s in the Roche home — which lands him in here. So, you see, he feels guilty for havin’ broken that promise and deserted the boy through all these years. In fact, he sees most of this in here as punishment fo’ that. Retribution and all that Bible stuff he got into later on. Maybe that was some kinda penance. Asking God’s forgiveness not jus’ for being a bad man and a murderer — but for being a bad father and lettin’ his family down.’ Rodriguez took a fresh breath. ‘But when Larry did have contact with Josh, I’d see the change in him. That weight o’ guilt would lift from his shoulders and there was a fresh light in his eyes; as if, finally, he saw some hope. Hope, maybe, that with fresh contact, he could make good on havin’ let the boy down and deserted him.’ Rodriguez shrugged and gestured with one hand. ‘But, like I say, his meetings with Joshua were rare, and so the same went for his hopes of makin’ good — until just under a year ago.’ This time Rodriguez’ pause was heavier, as if purposely adding significance or waiting for the prompt.