Nel-M, distracted fleetingly by the sudden movement and noise, squeezed off the shot anyway. But in the beat’s pause, Truelle started to move — the shot hitting him in the shoulder.
Then Nel-M’s gun was swinging swiftly towards Jac.
Jac hit Nel-M full in the chest before the gun had completed its arc, the breath shunting out of him heavily as they stumbled back.
Nel-M’s gun was swinging back towards him again, Jac gripping his arm before the barrel could point at him, wrestling, still falling back — and then suddenly the ground seemed to fall away beneath Jac’s legs, them both spinning, tumbling through a small bush, and then into the air… falling…
In that final, blind-fury second, Jac hadn’t paid any attention to how close to the promontory edge they were, or how far his momentum with all the Ayliss padding would carry them…
They hit the water quickly, no more than two seconds, the breath bursting out of Jac as something hit hard against his right shoulder, rock or coral a few feet beneath — then they were spluttering back up through the water, still grappling, Jac struggling to focus again on Nel-M.
Faint moonlight finally picked Nel-M out, dapples swilling back and forth, Nel-M’s features twisted, distorted through the few inches of water between them as he tried to push Jac deeper under.
Gun! Jac choking, spluttering, trying desperately to see whether Nel-M still had it in his hand.
Writhing hard, pushing back — Jac managed to gasp two seconds of air before Nel-M thrust him back under, grappling at his neck and face.
Then suddenly Nel-M froze, gasping faintly, his face wide-eyed as it swam in and out of focus in the water between them; Jac realizing in that instant that Ayliss’s facial prosthetics had come away in Nel-M’s hands, and Jac McElroy was suddenly staring up at him from beneath.
But Jac was still desperately trying to focus on Nel-M’s gun hand, see if he still had it; and as he saw the wavering shadow of Nel-M’s right arm move towards him and heard the shot, then another quickly after — saw and felt the warmth of his own blood swilling all around him in the water — he knew that Nel-M had.
And in those final seconds, as Jac saw Nel-M’s face slowly fade as the water between them became deeper, darker, suddenly he was back in the lake again, sinking down through its dark depths; though this time he knew there was nothing to save him.
‘It’s time now, Larry.’
‘I know.’ Larry nodded dolefully.
The cell bolt slid back, the door opened, and Larry got up and joined Torvald and the six guards outside.
They walked three each side of him, Torvald slightly ahead, as they went along, their footsteps echoing starkly, emptily.
Gone from their eyes.
In the end, to be able to cope in the final moments, Larry had taken a leaf out of their book. If he’d already gone from their eyes, then all that remained was to shed the last vestiges of himself in his own mind.
He’d already considered it a good idea not to think about Josh and Fran, so that he didn’t end up a quivering, blubbering wreck at the last moment.
And so, having rid himself of every good and warm past memory of Fran and Josh, all that remained was to cast off the rest: holding his hands up high after his first big boxing win, the pride in his mother’s face — still there even when he fell into bad ways, her refusing to accept it — Roddy’s sly smile as he told a joke or funny story, Sal in the library, BC in the muscle yard, passages from his favourite books… sharing a brandy with Jac McElroy that night. It didn’t take long, wasn’t too difficult, because there weren’t that many good memories left. Libreville had eroded most of them already over the years.
Footsteps echoing emptily. And as he took the last few steps towards the death chamber, of all the years that he’d heard his own footsteps echoing like a ghost’s through Libreville, only now was it finally in step with, fully mirroring, how he felt. Empty. Devoid of all memories, all feelings, all emotions.
Hands gently guiding him, laying him on the gurney. Hands of strong guards that could have pushed, but sensed in that moment that they didn’t need to.
Larry looked through the glass towards the observation room as he was strapped down: Warden Haveling, Father Kennard, the prison psychiatrist, one of the medic team, a Times-Picayunejournalist who’d visited him the day before and Larry had agreed to have there.
And as the last strap was secured, Larry smiled gently towards his audience — they probably thought that he’d finally snapped, gone mad, or that he’d made some sort of inner peace in his mind and was looking forward to going to God… Ascension Day.
But the thought that had hit Larry in that moment was how he’d robbed them, cheated them. They’d put on this big event, this circus — Governor’s final thumbs down, scores of protestors and media trucks outside the prison gates, on every news channel with analysis and cross-analysis, pro and con death-penalty debates — to kill Larry Durrant.
But he’d robbed them of that privilege without them knowing it. The past long years at Libreville had already taken half the life out of him, and in the past hours he’d managed to strip and erode what was left. In the end, they weren’t killing Larry Durrant at all. They were killing just a shell.
46
Black. Everything black.
But gradually some grey started to wash through, as if a gentle light was trying to seep in, soften the edges. Make the darkness not so absolute.
While the grey was softer, there was also some pain attached to it, and so the black felt warmer, more welcoming. He wanted to go back to it, where he’d been a minute ago. No pain.
A steady beep… beep… beepnow too as more of the blackness swilled away and became grey, like an alarm going off. Prompting him gently, incessantly… wake up… wake up… wake up. But Jac thought: I’m dead. And surely that’s the one advantage of being dead… not having to wake up to annoying alarms any more when you don’t want to.
Beep… beep… beep… beep…
As the grey too started to swill away, get whited out, Jac opened his eyes and focused: a monitoring machine at his side steadily beeping, a nurse by the end of his bed checking a clipboard chart, looking up at him as his eyes flickered open.
‘Ah, you are with us again?’
Jac looked down at himself, blinking, still trying to make sense of everything. ‘ But… but I was shot?’
The nurse shook her head. ‘No, senor, not you. You have a cracked shoulder joint, which was also dislocated, and a lot of water had to be drained from your lungs. It was the other man with you, el hombre negre. He was shot twice from behind.’
The blood warm and swilling all around him, maybe even too the last impetus of the bullets hitting Jac as they’d come straight through Nel-M.But it not computing in that instant that it could possibly have been Nel-M shot. Nobody there to shoot him? ‘ Who… who shot him?’
The nurse shrugged. ‘The police don’t know. They are still investigating.’
But then the rest hit Jac, what he’d been there for in those final minutes, and he tried to sit up. Larry! His eyes shifted to the clock on the wall, 11.47 p.m., 10.47 p.m. in New Orleans, the tears welling, stinging his eyes. Almost five hours since Larry had been executed! And this time his father’s die-hard tenet, look to the bright side, didn’t, couldn’thelp; no bright side possible. The tears flowed freely, the nurse looking at him with concern.
‘You shouldn’t cry, senor. You’re alive. You made it.’