"What?" said Brown."You mean those four new generators you ordered from Madras? Who tried to steal them? And how in hell can anybody steal a three-ton generator anyway? You. can't carry it under your coat."
"I tell you. They—I don't know who they were—had a truck, maybe two trucks. The generators came today, and were sitting on a flat-car in the railroad yard. And tonight these—" here the telephone crackled with Urdu obscenity "—sneaked into the yard, and slugged the watchman, and tried to hoist the generators off the car onto the trucks. They used the yard crane, but in the darkness they did something wrong, and they dropped the first one they hoisted. The casing is cracked!" Brahispati sounded as if he were about to weep, "And—you know the hardware shop across the street from the depot? The cashier was down there going over the books, and he heard the noise and gave the alarm. But the thieves had disappeared, with their trucks, by the time the police came. My beautiful new generator—"
Brown finally convinced the overwrought engineer that he, Brown, had no idea what this bizarre theft meant, and went to bed swearing. Things got loonier and loonier. He wondered if he'd been wise to give up his good job at Schenectady (he was a steam turbine engineer) to come and exec in this goofy little Hindu hill kingdom. It was probably his unfortunate habit of accepting responsibilities that nobody else wanted that had gotten him into this. Maybe it would have been better if the British had stayed in India, after all, though Brown had always sympathized with the Indians' feelings on the subject.
THE next morning he had hardly gotten through his mail when he had the job of placating one of the more temperamental members of his staff."I'm sorry, Martha," he said, "but all the labs on the east side were spoken for long ago. But look here: Tukharev and Lowrie haven't installed half their junk yet. If the view means so much to you, why don't you try your feminine wiles on them? Maybe one of them would be willing to switch. I admit the Scotchman's a hard case, but you shouldn't have much trouble with the sentimental Nikolai."
Miss Martha Livengood drew herself up, every inch a Bostonian."Why—at my age—you suggest—" She saw he was trying not to laugh, and went on: "That's a splendid idea, Fernando. Now if you'll just help me select the right lipstick and underthings—" Brown's ears became pink. She continued: "Seriously, I didn't know we were going to move into these new laboratories for a month, and I've been so busy with my fleas and lice —I've had six entirely new mutations—" Somebody's hoarse yell ended the discourse.
Brown's desk drawer flew open to the touch of a button, and his static pistol was in his hand. When he got to the source of the sound, Kumar and Quesada were looking at a six-foot cobra on the floor of the latter's lab. The snake's head was smashed to jelly, but its body still twitched. The little Filipino held the broken half of a mop-handle. -Now that the danger was over, a reaction had begun to seize Quesada; he looked as though he were going to faint.
"Better come down and have a drink, Juan/' Brown told him. Then Brown's eyes strayed to the ventilator inlet in the concrete wall."So that's where they come from! Stand clear, everybody!" The pistol purred for a tenth of a second as its ultra-violet beam sought the ventilator, and cracked piercingly as the blue streak of the charge followed the ionized path. The visible half of the second snake's body exploded into fragments.
"Damn!" said Brown, "The place must be impregnated with cobras. The ventilating system goes all over the building; we'll have to clear everybody out."
EXTERMINATION took the rest of the morning. When Brown settled into his chair after lunch, he found Maganlal Vora, the janitor, extending one of the laboratory's printed forms, "I theenk, Sair, we have extirpated the ophemophidia. Here is a leest; any others will have been slain by the gas."
Brown read the neat typing: " 1 spotted viper; 4 Russell's viper; 9 common cobra; 16 banded krait; 2 harmless." Vora coughed deprecatingly."I theenk those harmless ones are put in by mistake. Someone was inefficient."
"Think we ought to send in a complaint about inferior merchandise?"
"Ah, no, Sair, it is a small matter— only two out of thairty-two. Next time perhaps." Brown looked hard at his dignified janitor; he could never be sure whether Vora was being serious. Vora, loftily deferential as ever, withdrew, and Brown, hoping he'd seen the last of these distractions to the orderly running of a laboratory, settled down to work.
But events were really just getting into their stride. In a few minutes General Dubin burst in. The heavy-set commander-in-chief of the Palestinian mercenaries was in field uniform, and was looking even glummer than was his normal wont."The Rajah's gone," he snapped."He and his gang, including his royal guard, just weren't there this morning. When did you see him last?"
Brown told him."Why didn't you telephone, Stanley?"
The general made the short barking noise generally described as a mirthless laugh."Have you tried 'phoning in the last couple of hours?"
"No." Brown flicked the switch on his wrist and dialed Chief Engineer Brahispati's number. The receiver on his shoulder crackled.
"Interference," said Dubin."The whole system's out of commish. I got Shastri to order the militia mobilized. Something's going to pop, but I don't know when or where. All I can do is see that my tanks and 'planes are in order, and that the charging-stations for the static-gun condensers are working. Can't you scientific wizards help us out? All the police have been able to uncover is a rumor about some sort of atomic pow—"
"Stop it!" yelled Brown."Stop, Stanley! The next guy that asks me about an atom-gun is going to have to eat my slide-rule, glass and all." He told Dubin about the ubiquitous rumors on the subject that he had encountered."We'd like to help you out, Stan, but we're not doing anything in the way of atomic power. We haven't the equipment, and Kumar's the only one of us with enough knowledge of physics."
The glum general chewed the ends of his mustache."Maybe it would have been better if you'd put some time in on means of destroying your fellow-man, instead of being so noble and constructive. You humanitarians put through a program for uplifting the masses, and forget all about the toes you're going to step on in the process. And then when the owners of the toes—"
A Palestinian soldier, hung with gadgets, knocked and entered. Dubin frowned at the paper that was handed him."Hm," he said, "an army of undetermined strength has appeared in the Eastern Department with tanks, artillery, and aircraft. We'll have to move quickly. Good bye, Fernando. If you do invent an atom-gun, let me know. Maybe I should have stayed in Palestine and been a rabbi, like my father wanted me to." He shook hands and clicked off down the corridor.
GENERAL DUBIN had laid his plans well, for within two hours the long line of trucks, tanks, and armored motorcycles was roaring out of town eastward. As the last of the column got into motion, an airplane snored over from the east and loosed a bomb, which blew a suburban bungalow skywards, then whipped into a turn as two Palestinian machines swooped at it. An antiaircraft battery crashed, and a puffy black cloud appeared in front of the insurgent machine. As it popped out on the far side its engine died. (The black cloud was emery powder. ) But with a grunt the 'plane belched a streamer of flame and smoke aft, and raced off out of sight on its rocket-jets.
Brown collected his staff and announced that they were going to work out a program of military research. The staff seemed more concerned by the fact that most of their laboratory assistants were being called up for the militia, and Brown had to remind them that their jobs and perhaps their lives depended on the defeat of the Rajah's attempted coup.