The pattern of the dance separated them for a while, but Margaret replied as soon as they came together again between the lines to circle each other back to back. "That all happened /years/ ago," she told him. "I have quite forgotten it." Which was a remarkably ridiculous thing to say. /What/ all happened years ago? he might well ask. And how would she even be able to refer to it if she had forgotten it? She had only made herself look more abject in her brother-in-law's eyes.
Oh, how she /hated/ this! Where had the years gone? And how had she somehow been left behind? And /where/ was the Marquess of Allingham when she most needed him? Whatever would she say to Crispin if he talked to her later and asked where her betrothed was? She was just going to have to tell the truth, that was all – that there was no such man, that there was no such betrothal. And she must not even add the face-saving words /not yet, anyway/. She would thereby risk humiliating herself further if for some reason the marquess was not in town this year.
And let her learn her lesson from this. She would /never/ allow herself to be goaded into telling a lie again – even the smallest of white lies.
Lies could only bring one grief.
And then suddenly, just before the set came to an end, there he was at last – the Marquess of Allingham, strolling through the ballroom doors, looking dearly familiar. He stopped to look about. He had not seen /her/ yet, Margaret realized as she circled about Jasper again and returned to her line. But that did not matter. The important thing was that he was here – and looking very distinguished indeed in his black and white evening clothes. There was a natural stateliness of manner about him. He must have seen someone else he knew and moved purposefully in that direction.
The set came to an end and she rested her hand on Jasper's sleeve. "Thank you," she said, laughing. "I must be quite out of practice. I am all out of breath. But it was a delightful way to begin the evening." "It was," he agreed. "For a few minutes I was assailed by the uncomfortable suspicion that all the other gentlemen in the ballroom were watching me. I thought perhaps I had put my dancing shoes on the wrong feet or that my neckcloth was askew. It was an enormous relief to discover that it was, in fact, /you/ they were all watching. You look outstandingly lovely tonight, Meg, as I am sure your glass informed you before you left home." Margaret laughed again. "But it is far more satisfying to hear it from a gentleman," she said, "even if he /is/ prone to exaggeration." Before they reached the place where Vanessa and Elliott were standing with Katherine, Margaret saw that they were about to pass close to the Marquess of Allingham. At the same moment he spotted her, and his face lit up with a warm smile as he stepped away from the group he had just joined. "Miss Huxtable," he said, bowing to her. "What an unexpected pleasure.
Montford?" "My lord." She curtsied and stayed where she was while Jasper continued on his way after returning the greeting. "You have come to town after all, then," the marquess said. "I concluded when I did not see you anywhere that perhaps you had decided to remain in the country this year." "I was detained at Warren Hall until just a week ago," she explained. "But here I am at last to enjoy what is left of the Season. Lady Tindell must be very pleased. Her ball is extremely well attended, is it not?" "It is a veritable squeeze," he said, "and therefore must be deemed a great success. May I compliment you on your appearance? You look lovelier than ever." "Thank you," she said. "I hope," he said, "you have a set of dances left to grant me. I arrived rather later than I would have liked, I am afraid." "I do indeed," she told him. "Shall we agree to the set after this next one, then?" he suggested. "Yes." She smiled at him. "I shall look forward to it." And perhaps another set later in the evening – a waltz, she hoped. He waltzed well.
It amazed her now that she had not accepted his offer last year. Even then she had known that she must marry, if she was not to remain a spinster for the rest of her life and be a burden upon Stephen and her sisters. And even then she had known that she could not possibly do better than marry the Marquess of Allingham, whom she liked exceedingly well. "The next set has not even begun to form yet," he said, glancing beyond her. "There is plenty of time. Do come and meet her." He took her by the elbow and turned her toward the group of people with whom he had been standing. /Her/? "My dear," he said to a pretty auburn-haired lady in green, "do you have an acquaintance with Miss Huxtable, sister of the Earl of Merton? She has been a friend of mine for a number of years. This is Miss Milfort, my affianced bride, Miss Huxtable, and her sister, Mrs. Yendle, and…" Margaret did not hear the rest of the introductions. /… my affianced bride…/ He was betrothed. To someone else.
For the moment the realization bounced off the outer layer of her consciousness and did not really penetrate – which was perhaps fortunate.
Margaret smiled – brightly and warmly – and held out her right hand to Miss Milfort. "Oh, this /is/ a pleasure," she said. "I do wish you happy, though I daresay my wishes are unnecessary." She smiled – very brightly and warmly – at Mrs. Yendle and the other members of the group and inclined her head affably to them. "Miss Milfort and I met at the home of mutual friends at Christmas," the marquess was explaining. "And she made me the happiest of men just before Easter by accepting my hand. But you must have seen the notice of our engagement in the /Morning Post/, Miss Huxtable." "I did not," she said, her smile still firmly in place. "I have been in the country until very recently. But I /heard/ of it, of course, and I was delighted for you." Another lie. Untruths had come easily to her tongue recently. "The next set is forming," remarked a lady whose name Margaret had entirely missed, and the marquess extended a hand toward Miss Milfort.
With her peripheral vision Margaret became aware of a flash of scarlet off to her right. Without even turning her head to look she knew it was Crispin and that he was making his way toward her, perhaps to ask her to dance with him, perhaps to seek an introduction to the Marquess of Allingham, /who was betrothed to someone else/.
The ghastly truth rushed at her.
She was not engaged.
She was not about to be engaged.
She was thirty years old and horribly, irreparably single and unattached.
And she was going to have to admit it all to Crispin, who had believed that she /needed/ his gallantry since no other man could possibly want to offer her his company. Her stomach clenched with distress and incipient queasiness.
She could not bear to face him just yet. She really could not. She might well cast herself, weeping, into his arms.
She needed time to compose herself.
She needed to be alone.
She needed… She turned blindly in the direction of the ballroom doors and the relative privacy of the ladies' withdrawing room beyond. She did not even take the time to skirt the perimeter of the room but hurried across it, thankful that enough dancers had gathered there to prevent her from looking too conspicuous.
She felt horribly conspicuous anyway. She remembered to smile.
As she approached the doors, she glanced back over her shoulder to see if Crispin was coming after her. She was in a ridiculous panic. Even /she/ knew it was ridiculous, but the trouble with panic was that it was beyond one's power to control.
She turned her head to face the front again, but she did so too late to stop herself from plowing into a gentleman who was standing before the doors, blocking the way.
She felt for a moment as if all the breath had been knocked from her body. And then she felt a horrible embarrassment to add to her confusion and panic. She was pressed against a very solid male body from shoulders to knees, and she was being held in place there by two hands that gripped her upper arms like a vise. "I am so sorry," she said, tipping back her head and pushing her hands against his broad chest in a vain effort to put some distance between them so that she could step around him and hurry on her way.