Shit.
“She’s social,” I told Feb and watched as Keira pointed at me, pointed at the cupcakes and then rolled her eyes and let her head fall back in a “Mom’s cupcakes are to die for” gesture.
Shitshitshit!
My cupcakes were good even I had to admit that. Another recipe I’d fiddled with, yellow cake with crushed up bars of gourmet dark chocolate baked in them and vanilla bean frosting that was simply orgasmic. So much so it was a wonder any made it to the cupcakes since I ate most of it while icing.
But it wasn’t that Keira wanted to share the bounty of my cupcakes. It also wasn’t that my daughter had a crush on Joe.
It was that she wanted him for me.
Shit!
This annoyed me and surprised me. Tim had been gone awhile it was true, but not that long.
Then again, life had changed, I had changed and I didn’t hide my pain when Tim died. The girls were also in pain and I didn’t want them to think they had to hide it either. I didn’t want them to bury that only to have it eat at them later and, weirdly, I wanted us to give that to Tim. I wanted my girls and anyone to know I was inside out with losing Tim. I wanted people to see it because they’d know who Tim was and what he meant to me and that he was the kind of man whose death would cause that kind of pain. Because he was.
But my daughter loved her mother; Keira would want to take away that pain.
Shit!
“Keira’s a nut,” I told Feb and I looked from my daughter and Joe, who had taken a cupcake and was in the process of taking a huge bite, to Feb.
“And Cal’s a good guy,” she said back, I felt my body jolt at the look on her face and I knew that she knew about Joe and me. How she knew, I didn’t know. But she knew.
“I –”
“We’ll have drinks, you and me, one day soon. I’ll explain and maybe, when I do, you’ll give him a break and a second chance.”
A break? A second chance? What was she talking about?
First of all, he didn’t deserve a break. Secondly, he didn’t want a second chance.
“Feb –” I started.
“Feb!” Colt yelled. “Baby, we got any more Bud?”
“I feel like I’m at work,” she muttered then shouted across the yard, “Yeah, it’s in the fridge in the garage.”
Colt looked at his woman, Feb looked at her man. I knew where this was going. Even though he mowed the lawn, erected a tent and stood at the grill for the last two hours and she’d probably been planning this for weeks and preparing for days, doing the grocery shopping, cooking and running around, they were locked in a standoff as to who was going to replenish the drink coolers. She was sitting in the grass, taking a break. He was manning the grill which he considered work even though it was mostly just standing there. Therefore, Feb was going to lose.
“Shit,” she muttered, losing, and looked at me, getting up. “Can you take care of Jack? I gotta go get more beer.”
I smiled at her. “Absolutely.”
“Momalicious!” Keira called as Feb walked away. “Joe loves your cupcakes!”
Everyone turned to Keira, Heather and Joe but I only saw Joe’s eyes on me. I doubted he told Keira that he “loved” my cupcakes (though, he’d be a freak of nature if he didn’t at least like them, they were delicious) and I further doubted he was thrilled that Keira announced it to everyone.
But, whatever.
I avoided Joe’s eyes and shouted back, “I can die happy.”
Then I looked down at Jack, cooed at him softly while smiling. He smiled back and did a baby giggle and I snatched him in my hands, shoving him into the air while he emitted another baby giggle then bringing his belly down to my face to give him a nuzzle so I could get another giggle.
Baby Jack didn’t disappoint.
“Nice cupcakes, buddy,” I heard from behind me half an hour later and I saw, in front of me, Feb, who I was talking to, lift her gaze to some high point over my shoulder.
Joe obviously was there.
It sucked that he could sneak up on me.
“Crap, Scout got hold of my shoe,” Feb muttered. “Be back.”
I watched as Feb rushed across the yard to the puppy who looked really pissed at one of her flip-flops. The dog was jerking his head back and forth, flip-flop between his teeth then putting a paw to the shoe and tugging at the strap with his mouth.
“Violet.”
My eyes went from the dog to Joe.
“Yeah?”
“We need to talk about your system.”
I didn’t say anything but I also didn’t move away, I just looked at him and waited.
“Chip fucked up the wiring, not a big deal but it’s gonna take some more time.”
“Whatever,” I muttered, looking away.
“I’ll do it in the morning.”
“Fine.”
There was a pause then a terse, “See you haven’t decided to grow up.”
My eyes went back to him and I opened my mouth to speak but I heard a shouted, “Mom!”
It was Kate’s shout, it was high-pitched and the sound turned my blood to ice.
I felt Joe tense at my side and he and I both turned to look along the side yard of Colt and Feb’s house toward my house. Dane’s yellow pickup was in the drive beside my Mustang but Kate was running fast across the street toward me, Dane coming after her.
I started running to Kate and met her in Colt and Feb’s front yard. As I moved, I felt Joe moving behind me.
My hands went to her shoulders and I got close.
“Honey, what’s goin’ on?”
“The porch,” was all she said.
Dane stopped behind her but I looked beyond him to my porch.
Then my heart stopped.
There was a huge, flamboyant bouquet of purple flowers – roses mixed with dainty violets – on my welcome mat. So huge and wide, I could see them from across the street. They came halfway up the door and spread wide across it.
Daniel Hart’s calling card.
He knew where I was.
And Kate knew what those flowers were. Since Tim died I got a delivery, exactly like that, like clockwork every Saturday morning for months. I’d called the florists and told them to stop, which they did but then a new florist would send them. Eventually Barry or one of Tim’s other cop buddies would sit in our drive on Saturday morning and take them away before the girls could see them but, until I sold the house and moved, they never stopped coming.
I looked at Kate and saw she was trembling. “It’s okay, honey.”
“But, he knows where we live.”
“It’s okay,” I lied to and for my daughter.
I felt movement and looked to my left to see Joe was stalking toward my house. Then I felt more movement and I saw Colt and his partner Sully following Joe.
I looked at Kate. “Go and get yourself and Dane a burger, okay?”
“But –”
I gave her a smile and hoped it wasn’t as shaky as it felt. “Dane’s a football star, honey, he needs his grub.”
“Mom –”
I moved my face close to her face and squeezed her shoulders. “Go, look after your sister. Yeah?”
That would get her, giving her something to do, something responsible, something which made her feel she was helping out her Mom. Kate’s mind would be turned from panic to duty by that.
“Okay,” she whispered, I let her go, nodded to Dane who looked worried (therefore, I knew Kate had shared the situation with him) and he followed Kate as she walked to the backyard.
I turned and watched only to see Keira standing in the yard, Feb’s squirming puppy in her arms, her eyes locked on our house. Feb and Cheryl were standing on either side of her.
“Feb,” I called, her eyes went from my house to me and I tipped my head to Keira.