I watched Sam clench his teeth, seeing his jaws flex out at the sides and it was his turn to look away.
“Sam, promise me you’ll let it go,” I said softly.
“Can’t.”
“Sam –”
His eyes locked on mine and he repeated, “Can’t.”
“You don’t know what you’re doing.”
“I’m bein’ careful.”
I leaned in further and hissed, “You don’t mess with this guy.” Sam didn’t answer and I put my hand to the armrest and got even closer to my brother. “You know, you know, what happened to Tim, and he was doing his job… you know you do not mess with this guy.”
“So I let him mess with my sister?”
“He’ll forget about me.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Bullshit.”
“Sam –”
“Bullshit, Vi.”
“Think about Melissa.”
“She agrees with me somethin’s gotta be done.”
My brother had been with his girlfriend Melissa for ten years. They lived together for nine of those ten years but never married. They talked about it all the time but they were always enjoying their lives too much to get around to doing anything about it. Mel and Sam had both been close to Tim, adored him. Sam felt like Tim was his brother, Tim had felt the same. We were all tight. When Tim died, they took it hard, nearly as hard as me and the girls. And Mel had attitude, just like Sam. I knew that Sam spoke the truth when he said Mel agreed something had to be done, not only because they’d loved Tim but because they loved me and the girls.
“Talk to Barry,” I suggested.
“I’m talkin’ to him.”
“What’s he say?”
“He understands a brother’s gotta do what he’s gotta do.”
Yes, Barry would understand that. Barry was as crazy as Tim and Sam.
“Sam, Barry’s a cop and he said he won’t rest –”
“And he isn’t.”
“Then let Barry do his work.”
“That doesn’t mean he doesn’t need help.”
“Not from you.”
“Just leave it, Vi.”
I looked into my brother’s hard face for a few seconds then I turned away, swallowing and thinking maybe it wasn’t good we were so close. Maybe it wasn’t good I loved him like crazy and he felt the same way. Maybe it wasn’t good Melissa thought the world of me and my girls.
I pulled in a breath, let it out and took another sip of wine.
Then I let it go. I had no choice and I knew it. Sam was stubborn, always had been, so I whispered, “Tell Mel to come down with you next time, yeah?”
“Will do,” Sam whispered back then changed the subject again. “Who’s the big guy next door?”
My eyes moved to my brother. “What?”
“Big guy next door with the blonde chick? She your neighbor, is he or both?”
“He is. Joe Callahan.”
“Good neighbor to have,” Sam remarked.
I felt my eyebrows inch together. “Why?”
“Looks like he could crush a rock with his fist.”
“Why does that make him a good neighbor?”
“Also looks like someone you do not want to mess with.”
Sam wasn’t wrong about that.
“Again, why does that make him a good neighbor?” I asked.
“People don’t let shit happen in their ‘hoods that shouldn’t happen. He’s your neighbor, that asshole thinks to mess with you down here; I figure this Joe guy’d wade in.”
The thought of Joe Callahan getting involved in my troubles sent a chill up my spine. “Let’s just hope that asshole doesn’t think to mess with me down here.”
“He does, you should have a word with this Joe.”
That was not going to happen.
“Sam –”
“Maybe I’ll have a word, explain things, ask him to keep an eye out.”
I leaned forward again and snapped, “Don’t do that.”
“Why not?”
“Just don’t, okay? Seriously.”
My brother watched me then asked, “You got a problem with this guy?”
“No,” I lied quickly. “He’s just not around very often and I came down here to escape that whole mess. I don’t want everyone in my business.”
“Vi –”
“I don’t, Sam. If something happens then I’ll talk to Colt. He’s a cop, lives across the street. He’s a good guy, a good cop. It’ll be fine.”
“The dude who had that serial killer after him?”
“Yeah.”
Sam shook his head. “Christ, he’ll just love it if that asshole bleeds into his town after that mess went down.”
Sam wasn’t wrong about that either.
“Can we just enjoy your visit and not talk about this shit?” I suggested.
“We can after you answer one question.”
I sighed again then asked, “What?”
“You need money?”
Sometimes it was irritating how well my brother knew me.
I did need money. Things were tight, not to the point where food wasn’t on the table but to the point where it was a constant, nagging worry at the back of my head because I could give my girls what they needed but not a whole helluva lot of what they wanted and that sucked.
“I’m good.”
“Yeah?”
My voice got soft when I lied, “Yeah, Sam. I’m good.”
“Okay, then you use that two grand I set on your nightstand to make yourself a pretty garden.”
I felt my eyes get wide and my mouth drop open but I didn’t speak.
“And you can’t refuse it,” Sam continued. “It’s from Mel and me and Mel’ll go ballistic, I come back with that money.”
“Sam, I can’t take that.”
“You don’t, I’m up shit’s creek with Mel.”
“Sam –”
He leaned forward again. “How many times you and Tim bail me out, hunh? How many?”
“But –”
“More than two grand’s worth, a fuckuva lot more.”
“I can’t –”
“Payback, babe.”
“Sam –”
His hand came out, hooked me around the neck and pulled me across the space between the kitty corner chairs so my face was in his face.
“Payback,” he whispered.
I pressed my lips together to fight the sting of tears in my eyes. Before Melissa, Sam had been a wild one, always doing stupid shit, always coming to Tim and me to bail him out and we always did. Even though it had been years and we never expected anything in return, Sam would feel that weight pressing on him. It would live with him, right under his skin. He needed to do this, I knew it, so he could work that weight out from under his skin and I needed to let him.
I pulled in breath through my nose, nodded and I watched my brother smile.
The next morning, Joe’s truck was still in his drive but his house was quiet.
The morning after that, the morning Sam left, Joe’s truck was gone.
“Shit, Vi, sorry, I got a callout,” Colt said after he flipped his phone shut and shoved it in his back jeans pocket. He was seated at the barstool next to me at J&J’s Saloon.
I looked down at my mostly finished cranberry juice and vodka. It was my third; Morrie was currently making my fourth. I hadn’t moved from my stool for awhile so I didn’t know the extent of my drunkenness but I figured, since I didn’t drink much, I was closing in on pretty smashed.
“That’s okay,” I told Colt who was my designated driver seeing as I came to the bar with him and Feb after she caught me getting my mail from the mailbox after coming home from work. We’d called our hellos then she’d suggested I go in with her and Colt to J&J’s for a night out.
I’d said yes because it was Friday and on Fridays normal people went out to have a drink, socialize, unwind.
I’d also said yes because Kate was out with Dane and she’d asked for an hour extension on her curfew because there was some party she just had to attend. All the other kids had later curfews and she explained she’d look like a dork if she had to be home by eleven. I’d allowed this because I was a moron. I knew this party wasn’t about kids sedately drinking punch and discussing possible college applications they wished to submit. I just hoped my responsible first born would act responsible. I also hoped her boyfriend, Dane, who seemed more into Kate than she was into him (if that was possible), would take care of my daughter.