We reach my house and stop right outside the door. I watch as Tristan paces back and forth against the sidewalk. “Maybe I’ll stay a couple more days,” he suggests. “How would you feel about that?”
“I think I would like that very much,” I say, and I let him into the house.
ANNA
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CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
In that elusive slice of morning between getting another drink and getting breakfast, hard metallic pings and the smell of alcohol wake me up out of a deep, deep sleep. Is it raining whiskey? Am I in a sauna? Confused, I open my eyes and look around the small, dark space. No, I’m in my room. Snow is melting and dripping from the rooftop, the radiator is working overtime and an empty liquor bottle has spilled a little onto the floor. My confusion is replaced with an inexplicable feeling of doom and a dire need to drink water. The doom I cannot explain away, but I can hydrate, so I roll out of bed and crawl over Tristan to get to the door. I tiptoe to the kitchen in my underwear, trying not to wake anyone up. I make a stop at the bathroom too, since I am already out. By the time I get back I’m wide awake, and my body is buzzing with the need for a cigarette. Tristan is sleeping through all of this, even the cat-like screams the computer makes while warming up. He is passed out face down, mounds of long blue hair spread out across the pillow like a river, his arms covered entirely in tattoos. He looks sexy, and I should probably go back to sleep. And I would, if it wasn’t for this feeling I can’t shake, like the reoccurring dream I have where I am driving my parents’ old car down a hill and the breaks don’t work. So instead I head to MySpace to see if anyone is online. Truthfully, I just want to talk to Zoya more. And I’m in luck, as she happens to be online. It’s daytime where she is.
<<ANNA>> Hey. How are you doing?
<<ZOYA>> Hi! I’m good. I’m getting ready to go to work. What are you doing up so late?
<<ANNA>> Can’t sleep.
<<ZOYA>> Why? What’s wrong?
<<ANNA>> Nothing. Never mind.
<<ZOYA>> Tell me!
<<ANNA>> It’s not a big deal… but I have to move in a few days, which I’m sad about.
<<ZOYA>> Oh, I’m sorry.
<<ANNA>> That’s okay, don’t worry about me, I’m sure you have enough problems.
<<ZOYA>> That doesn’t mean you can’t have your own. Can you stay with your parents?
<<ANNA>> Frankly I would rather live with my grandparents than my parents. They’re way nicer to me. No, they’re not an option.
<<ZOYA>> I don’t get it. You all seem so happy in your photos.
<<ANNA>> Everyone seems happy in photos. If they looked sad, they’d throw the photos away not post them online.
<<ZOYA>> Not here. Haven’t you seen any photos from the USSR?
<<ANNA>> Oh yeah, that’s true. I remember my dad telling me how strange it was to come here and have everyone smile at him. For years he thought Americans were all crazy.
<<ZOYA>> What is Pavel like, anyway?
<<ANNA>> He… Works a lot. Loves my mom. Really into the whole “family” concept.
<<ZOYA>> Why is family in quotes?
<<ANNA>> A real family accepts each other’s differences. Or they pretend to, at least. Not my dad. Everything has to be his way. You either become a sad sack doormat or you have to blow up everything, like my sister did.
<<ZOYA>> Your sister that’s in Israel? I tried messaging her too, but I never heard back.
<<ANNA>> She’s religious, so she doesn’t really go online much… I’m not sure she even knows what MySpace is.
<<ZOYA>> How did she end up there and you’re here?
<<ANNA>> She never got along with my parents. They fought constantly. Then she had some problems in college that she didn’t deal with very well. I think she would have gone anywhere as long as it wasn’t here, but she happened to go on birthright on her winter break.
<<ZOYA>> Are you two close? I’ve always wanted sisters.
<<ANNA>> Not really. When we were kids, maybe.
<<ZOYA>> Why not? She isn’t nice?
<<ANNA>> It’s not that… She isn’t mean to me. She’s just not… present. I don’t know what it is. We’re too different maybe.
<<ZOYA>> Well, like I said before, you are welcome to come to Chernovtsy anytime you want. I will show you a good time.
<<ANNA>> Really? You aren’t just saying that to be polite?
<<ZOYA>> Of course. That’s what family does, isn’t it?
<<ANNA>> I may take you up on that. One day, when I have some money. I need to get a job or something.
<<ZOYA>> You’ve never had a job?
<<ANNA>> Oh I have. I’ve worked on and off since I was fourteen. But my parents insisted I focus on school so they are paying for my rent right now. Does that make you hate me?
<<ZOYA>> No, I don’t hate you. I only wish I could have that kind of support.
<<ANNA>> Your mom wasn’t supportive?
<<ZOYA>> We were best friends. But no, not financially.
<<ANNA>> You probably won’t understand, but you are probably better off. Money is just paper.
<<ZOYA>> That sounds like something only someone with money would say.
<<ANNA:>> We were never rich, Zoya. My most expensive pair of pants were like twenty dollars.
<<ZOYA>> Sorry. Forget I said that. Shouldn’t you go back to bed?
<<ANNA>> I should… But there’s another reason I’m awake right now.
<<ZOYA>> Does it have to do with a boy?
<<ANNA>> Yes, haha. A cute one.
<<ZOYA>> Well, just be careful. You don’t want to end up like me, haha.
<<ANNA>> I’ve been meaning to ask you… are you speaking to the father of your baby?
<<ZOYA>> At the moment, no.
<<ANNA>> Does he know about your condition?
<<ZOYA>> He knows. He told me to get rid of it. Like mother like daughter, I guess.
<<ANNA>> Wait. What? My dad told your mom to get an abortion?
<<ZOYA>> That’s what she says.
<<ANNA>> No way.
<<ZOYA>> Yes, she did.
<<ANNA>> I don’t believe it.
<<ZOYA>> Only two people know what really happened. One of them is dead.
<<ANNA>> You don’t understand. My dad loves kids. He’s a REPUBLICAN.
<<ZOYA>> Maybe now he does. In Ukraine, there are no republicans. There are only communists and traitors.
<<ZOYA>> I’m sorry Anastasia. I shouldn’t have said that. Forgive me. I don’t mean to make things hard for you.
<<ANNA>> You’re wrong about him. He’s not the monster you are making him out to be.
<<ZOYA>> You’re right. You know him, I don’t. We’ve never had the pleasure of meeting. I’d like to remedy this, but he doesn’t. Did you get the DNA kit, by the way?
<<ANNA>> No, not yet. Did they tell you how long it would take?