The people in my neighborhood were no doubt wondering what I’d done to cause this, so it would be best if no one in full plate armor and satanic regalia, wielding a sharp pointy stick, came knocking on my door in broad daylight. You can only use the medieval re-creation excuse so many times before people start to ask uncomfortable questions about where you’re sheathing your sword at night.
So, back at home, I hung out with Chatterbox as I waited for Longinus to arrive. To lighten the mood, I popped a Nasty Savage CD in the player. Me and the zombie head rumbled our way through Fear beyond the Vision. Chatterbox, sans balls, or anything from the neck down for that matter, provided the air raid siren falsettos. For a head without lungs, he sure could belt out the tunes.
We’d just gotten into Metal Knights when my senses pinged on my gate becoming active. I shut the CD off, much to Chatterbox’s wailing chagrin, and willed the portal to receive our guests.
A few seconds later, Longinus moved down the hall, his arms tucked in front to keep them from becoming wedged against the walls. Karra was a little ways behind him. Chatterbox glanced at them, then lowered his eyes, his chin tucked as though he were attempting to bow.
Even more massive than I remembered, Longinus moved with leonine grace, his wild mane of black hair flowing down his back. As he entered the living room, he straightened out and it was like having a door slam in my face, the light dimmed in his presence.
The deep bronze of his face made him look like he was made of rich leather, his dark eyes ageless. He took a moment to look me over, then smiled wide, his face coming alive above his thick black beard.
“Triggaltheron.” He proffered his hand and I took it, his steely grip a humbling experience. “I had not expected you to seek me out so soon.” There wasn’t any censure in his tone, but I suddenly felt guilty like I’d called a girl before the three day rule was up.
Suddenly unsure, I cast a quick glance at Karra and saw an easy grin brightening her lips. She winked and it did a lot to assuage my uncertainty.
“Well, neither did I, but it seems a couple of rogue archangels had other ideas.” I waved them to a seat, hoping my sofa would survive his bulk.
He laughed softly, letting Karra take her seat first. Once they were settled, I plopped down in my old Lazy-Boy, which let out a loud squeak.
“I presumed your call had something to do with that mess up there.” He gestured skyward. “While I knew I’d returned to a different world, I would never have imagined a Heaven overthrown by Gabriel.”
“Times have changed, and not for the better. At least in the old days, you knew who the bad guys were. Nowadays, it’s every supernatural for himself.”
Longinus nodded and settled back with a chuckle. Karra slipped into view, no longer blocked by his barrel of a chest. I found myself staring at her, the past washing over me in pleasant waves that prickled my skin. She met my eyes with a sweet smile and leaned forward, her lithe body uncoiling. My face heated, I looked back to her father before my body found another way to show its appreciation.
“I wouldn’t have come to you with this, but I had nowhere else to go. Gabriel’s war is turning the world on its head and I need to stop it before it tears Earth apart. I need some information that might help put an end to it all.”
“I’m loath to involve myself in the affairs of Heaven, but I will honor my pact to you and tell you what I can.” He stood and paced to the middle of the room, his face sullen. Karra’s expression seemed to echo his. “I cannot, however, bring myself to assist you directly. Though the old order has been cast aside, I have no forgiveness in my heart for those of the Kingdom.” His steely gaze settled on me. “With that in mind, ask of me what you will and know that I will answer truthfully in gratefulness for your part in my resurrection.”
I didn’t even bother to sigh, having expected no less. Things never came easy when you had to deal with demons, no matter what they said they’d do for you. “I need to know where the earthly remains of Adam are buried.”
While I knew I might be blowing my favor and breaking a part of my promise to Asmoday, there were more important things to consider. Besides, he was a demon…he’d understand getting screwed, even if he didn’t appreciate it.
Longinus looked at me through narrowed lids. “An unexpected request, for sure.” He stared at me for a moment longer, and just when it became really uncomfortable, he continued. “You seek to enter Eden?”
No point in lying, I answered, “Yes. I hope to offset the balance and help Uriel and Forcalor drive Gabriel away from the Garden and out of Heaven.”
A crooked smile fluttered to his lips. “For certain, a valiant plan, Triggaltheron, but there is something you must know before you throw yourself upon the willing spears of your enemy.”
That sounded positive.
“As it is, the Tree of Life struggles to maintain its integrity. The insertion of additional forces into the Garden may well be the tipping point that sounds its knell.”
Hey look, another challenge. Never enough of those in my life. I sunk deeper into my chair, rubbing at my temples. “Will the storms worsen?”
He shook his head. “They will end with the Tree’s death.” He paused and I could imagine the guillotine slicing down. “However-” Kchunk! “-the ruin of Earth is the least of our concerns. Should the Tree of Life fall, the children of Heaven and Hell will suffer for its destruction.” A slow, deep sigh oozed from him. “We will all become mortal.”
It took a second for his words to sink in, my mind unwilling to register their meaning. Thoughts tumbled from my mouth, in no particular order, and I took a second to string them into a coherent sentence. “We’d be human?”
“Not quite, though certainly close enough that the difference would be negligible. We would fall sick and age, become infirm and die as all mortals must. Though we’d retain our magic, it would be limited by the frailty of our bodies, its use a grindstone upon our remaining years. Given the aggressive nature of our kind, we would likely soon become extinct.”
My stomach churned as I thought about that, my head spinning like I’d been on a three-day binge. While I didn’t have a whole bunch of power to give up, my magic humble and only recently acquired, I had gotten damn used to the idea of living a long, sexually-unfulfilled life. As rarely as I got laid, another eighty years just wasn’t gonna cut it. That’d be like three more times.
“So now, all I have to do is figure out a way to end the war in Heaven in order to stop the storms from devastating Earth while at the same time, I have to keep the Tree of Life from dying or we become mortal.” I sank further into my chair, my brain threatening to commit suicide by leaping from my eyes. “Maybe I missed the memo, but I don’t remember being promoted to the savior of the universe. I sure as Hell didn’t get the pay raise or the sexy spandex outfit.” In it just as deep as me, I looked to Longinus, hoping he’d throw me a bone; one that didn’t require me to get on my knees. “You’re willing to bet your immortality on me succeeding?”
He smiled and shrugged. “I am not the man I was once, Triggaltheron. The cold embrace of Death has sobered my perspective. While I do not relish the loss of my strength, I believe I can find peace growing old with my daughter.” He turned to her, his smile beaming off his face.
Karra hugged him quick and mussed his long beard playfully.
The sweetness of it almost made me gag. I hid the look of disgust as they turned back around, cheese plastered all over my face.
Though I couldn’t fathom the changes that had turned Longinus from conquering lion to sedate lamb, I had to respect his decision, even if I didn’t like it.
After he’d given me the location of Adam’s grave, I thanked him and prepared the gate for their departure. Longinus ushered Karra toward the backroom, his hulkish form blocking her from sight once more. It was just one more disappointment piled on top of an altogether shitty day.