"You're getting pale," Atlas said. His voice startled me. I was curled up in the chair in the corner of his office with a book.
"That's what captivity does to you," I threw back.
"Come," he said, standing and coming over to me.
Confused, I followed him down the hall I only been down once the night I had arrived. He opened the wide doors and we stepped into a large living room. It was bright and open, contradictory to Atlas. The exposed wood beams and wood floors reflected the afternoon sun that poured in through the tall windows.
Outside, the lake sat waiting for me. It was calm and beautiful. I smiled when we stepped out and I felt the sun and wind on my face. The only sounds were from the birds and the trees swaying. I walked to the railing and looked down into the water. I felt Atlas behind me but I ignored him. I wanted to be alone for just a second, even if it was only pretend.
"Will you ever let me go?" I asked when I couldn't bear the silence any longer.
"No, Stella. I won't."
"Will you just keep me here forever?" I asked. The thought made my throat tight but it was better than the alternative.
"Would that be so bad?" he asked as he stepped closer to me. I could feel his chest on my back even though he wasn't actually touching me yet.
The hairs on my body stood on end. He always made me feel so aware, and every sense was heightened. The first night I met him in the club, I loved the feeling. It was exhilarating and, for the first time in a very long time, I actually felt alive. Now, it was terrifying. I felt like an animal about to be eaten. I felt dead, not alive.
Atlas gently trailed his fingers down my bare arm and goosebumps followed in their wake. I fought to keep my breath from quickening. My body's reaction made no sense to me. It was a mixture of curiosity, pleasure, and fear. The emotions swirling made me dizzy trying to figure them out.
"You know what I want from you," he said in my ear.
What was it that he really wanted from me? Was it the answers to his questions? Was it my body? I gave up hope that anything I did would earn my freedom. I grew up in a family that was familiar with criminals like Atlas and his "family." I knew too much. I was a risk and could never walk out of this lake house.
"I can't give you what you want," I whispered.
"Sure you can," he said as he quickly backed away from me. "Let’s make a deal. A trade if you will."
"A trade?" I asked as I turned to look at him curiously.
"Keep in mind, dear, that I really don't need to be nice to you. Only out of respect for your brother do I refrain from chaining you up in my basement and torturing the answers from you."
My eyes widened because he issued that threat with such ease, without so much as blinking. He was being completely honest, and torture didn't seem like something he felt very guilty about.
"To be honest, I would actually enjoy that very much." Atlas licked his lips and looked me up and down. "But I will offer you an alternative."
I crossed my arms over my chest protectively. It did nothing to make me any safer.
"Here's is the deal. You answer one question and I will give you one freedom of your choice, within reason."
I chewed on my lip and mulled over the options. How hard could one question be? One freedom could save my sanity. It was tempting to think of becoming less of a pet and more of person.
"I want to be able to come out here or stay in my room instead of sitting in your office," I said.
"Deal. If you answer me this," he started and made eye-contact with me. "Did you see your parents murdered?"
I swallowed as the memories flood back in. "Yes."
Atlas nodded once. "You are free to go between your bedroom and this deck."
I exhaled in relief. One answer. One more day.
"Stella, I am a man of my word. You may think I'm dirt, but I live by a set of morals and loyalty. If you start to believe that, this could be a hell of a lot easier."
I tilted my head to try to see him in a different view. He looked the same. Powerful, strong and deadly. Even in his own home and alone, he dressed as I always saw him. He wore dark slacks with a collared shirt. When I saw him the first time, I almost drooled over him. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I must have thought he could be someone who could protect me.
"I'll be inside," he said. I nodded and before he left, he came and leaned into my ear.
"Don't fuck this up, Little Star, or I will slit your throat."
With those parting words, he turned and left me alone on the back deck. I stared after his wide shoulders as he slipped back inside. I saw the shadow of one of the guards in the living room. I wasn't truly alone but I could pretend for a while at least. I wouldn't jump into the lake and try to swim to safety like I had thought of too many times.
I watched the sun go down that evening. I spent hours watching the fish and bugs while humming to myself. I forgot what it was like to be outside. It wasn't something I had necessarily enjoyed before, but now it was something I wouldn't take for granted. I barely noticed when the air turned crisp. I never wanted to go back inside, but soon I started to shiver.
I opened the sliding door and walked into the living room. The lights were dim and the large fireplace on one wall looked cozy and inviting. Knowing Atlas, he bought the place for the secluded location and not the features like the hardwood floors and beautiful stone walls. I wanted to linger but didn't know if that was allowed, so I decided to head to my room.
In the hallway, I saw the light from Atlas's office. One of the guards, Tony maybe, stood in the hall near the kitchen watching me. I put my head down and turned the direction of my room. A hot shower sounded soothing. Tomorrow, I would be able to go back outside. Maybe I could bargain for a book or magazine. Even the newspaper would keep me occupied.
I was almost to my room when another figure came out one of the bathrooms. I froze for a second before walking again. Another day, another guard. This house was crawling with hardened criminals and killers. My dad would have loved busting into this place.
"Well, what do we have here?" the new guy asked.
I kept walking, deciding that was probably the safest option. I didn't need any more trouble tonight after having a decent day.
"I asked you a fucking question," he bit out and grabbed my arm roughly. The stranger yanked me back to him and pushed me to the wall.
"I was just going to my room," I told him.
"Is that so? Maybe I should come with you," he said with a sickening smile.
I shivered from my head to my toes. My heartbeat quickened and every muscle tensed in my body. A heavy feeling settled in my stomach as alarms rang in my head. Something bad was going to happen. I tried to break from his hold but he held me tighter. I could feel the bruises forming under his fingertips.
"Let go," I begged, trying to hide how scared I really was.
"I don't think so. Now I see what has Atlas so busy he can't meet with me. He got himself a new toy," he growled and he pushed me harder to the wall with his body.
"No," I argued. I could smell the cigarettes and whiskey on his breath and it made me sick to my stomach.
"Your pussy that tight?" he asked and I almost threw up all over him. "Maybe I should see what the all the fuss is about."
He wrapped one hand around my throat to keep me in place while his other hand grabbed my thigh and pushed my dress up to my waist. I bucked against him and tried to scream but I didn't have enough air in my lungs to make a sound. He was choking me and tugging at my clothes while I was helpless.