Forcing myself to shower, fear started to sink in. I was scared of what I saw last night and what it meant. What would happen next? Why didn't I pull the trigger? I wanted to and I knew how to. I just didn't pull it. How could my conscience spare my family's killer? Part of me knew that if Sal hadn't killed him, I would have. I wanted to and that scared me more than watching his blood spatter everywhere. I screamed not because of the familiar sight of spilled blood but because of the overwhelming feeling of relief that had washed over me in that moment.
I walked the quiet halls in search of Atlas. I had too many questions and it didn't hurt to just come out and ask. There wasn't much they could do to me anymore. I had no leverage to keep myself safe, and they had no reason to punish me, or keep me alive. The house was quiet and I froze when I came to the living room.
It was clean without any sign of what had happened in here just hours before. I could smell a trace of bleach much like after Hector. A lot of death happened in this little lake house. So much blood had been spilled. Would I be the next person to paint these floors with their blood? Could I just be washed away with bleach like I had never existed?
I found Atlas in his office, alone. He watched me closely as I walked inside and closed the door behind me. Neither of us spoke and I looked up at the painting of the constellation in the sky. When Atlas first told me the story of the Titan who led the war against the gods, I thought the Titan was foolish. How could I feel bad that he was eternally punished for picking a fight he could never win? I understood now.
"You scared, Little Star?" he asked, his voice low and level.
"Yes," I whispered.
I was scared of him and myself. The person I was becoming was someone I didn't know. I was scared of the way he made me feel. I was terrified of what would happen next.
"Are you going to kill me now?" I asked Atlas, turning to look in his eyes.
He stood and I noticed he was in jeans and a white shirt. I had never seen him dress down and it surprised me. Atlas came around his desk and leaned back against it.
"I made your brother a promise to protect you," he said.
"So you'll let me go?"
Even as I said the words I realized how crazy they sounded. How would I just walk away and pretend nothing had happened. I had seen too much and knew too much. They could never let me go and I would never be able to move on. I wasn't sure I would want to.
"You know I can't do that," he said quietly. "The war isn't over yet."
Atlas hung his head and when his eyes met mine again I saw something I had never seen before: regret. A chill ran down my spine.
"You leave here, they will find you and kill you. I can't let that happen."
"Why not?
"Several reasons," he said, standing and circling me while I stood in the middle of his office. "That would be breaking my promise. If it came down to me or them getting you, I would be easier on you. They will torture you. But there is one main reason I will keep you."
My heart hammered in my chest because I wasn't sure if I wanted the answer. I didn't know if I could handle his truth.
"Why?"
Atlas stopped in front of me and placed both his hands on the side of my face. Tilting my face up to look at his, I saw a fierce determination in his eyes.
"Because I want to keep you. I'm still not done," he growled.
His lips crashed to mine and I clung to his forearms. He held my face tightly but not enough to hurt me. It was a gentle touch coming from him, but his lips were hard on mine, taking what he wanted. I gave into him, knowing he owned it all already.
Our tongues danced and tasted each other in slow motion. His possessiveness over me should have scared me or pissed me off. Instead, I felt safe and warm. I clung to his broad shoulders and wanted to be underneath him. I needed to know that I meant something more to him than a pawn in his games.
Atlas grabbed the back of my thighs and lifted me. Wrapping my arms and legs around him, I held on tightly without breaking our kiss. He walked me down the hall and I vaguely realized it wasn't the direction of my room. When he reached forward and opened a door, I pulled my lips away to see where I was.
We stumbled into a large bedroom with a window overlooking the lake letting the sunlight in. A huge bed with a black iron frame stood in the center of the room. This had to be Atlas's bedroom. In all the weeks I had been here, I had never seen where he slept. This was a rare glimpse into the man who controlled my life.
Atlas backed me up to the large bed and let me fall onto the soft covers. He stood above me, looking over my body. The familiar burn and heat grew inside of me. I reached for him and he willingly came, leaning over me. His lips found mine again and he took his time, like he was savoring my taste. Atlas had never taken his time before, seeming to always be driven to take me against his better judgment. I always let him against my better judgement.
His lips moved down to my neck, kissing and sucking the sensitive skin lightly. His shirt was off and tossed somewhere. I pushed my pants down my legs, kicking them off. He licked over my pulse point where I was sure he could feel my blood pumping. I titled my head back, giving him access. My eyes opened, and I looked up to the iron headboard as he drug my panties down my bare legs.
"No ropes in here," he whispered on my collarbone.
My head spun as Atlas flipped us, leaving me on top of him. My hands rested on his hard chest as his hands skated up my shirt. I lifted my arms so he could slowly pull it over my head. Atlas lifted his hips, and pulled down his jeans. I was on top of this strong and naked man. Someone who never relinquished absolute control was underneath me, under my hands.
My fingers tickled and explored his chest, arms and hard stomach. His skin was warm, smooth and soft under my touch. Atlas hissed as I smoothed my fingers over the V that led under my thighs. His muscles were tense with impatience and I smirked down at him. I could make him squirm, too.
"Not funny," he growled.
Done with waiting, he lifted my hips and placed me over his hard cock. Our eyes locked as he let go and I lowered myself down on him. Slowly, painfully, and perfectly. I let out a long moan as he buried himself inside of me as deep as he could. Once there, I waited before finally moving.
As I rose and pushed myself back down on him, something took over my body. I was loud and in control, taking from him as I wanted. My back arched, my hands held my sensitive breasts, and sweat collected on my skin. Letting go, I used my instincts to lead my body.
"You are so beautiful," Atlas murmured, his eyes hooded as he watched me ride him.
I felt beautiful. I felt amazing, alive, and energy buzzed in my veins. Atlas flexed and stiffened inside of me, hitting deeper than I had ever felt him. Unexpectedly, I was coming and screaming his name, totally lost in the wave taking me under. Large hands gripped my hips and Atlas thrust hard a few times before his own release hit him.
I fell to his chest, sweaty but satisfied. His heart was pounding in my ear and I fully relaxed. When I woke some time later in the darkness, Atlas was asleep and I was curled into his side. I looked up into his face. He looked younger and more innocent when he was sleeping. I could forget about all the bad things he'd done when I looked at that face.
Slowly and silently, I climbed out of his bed. I grabbed his white tee-shirt from the floor and pulled it over my head. My bare feet padded across the cold floors quietly as I left his room. The house was quiet, dark and cold. I almost turned to crawl back in bed with Atlas but my spinning mind needed space.