Ellis Weiner
Atlas Slugged AGAIN
The “Secret Sequel” to the Towering Masterpiece
A Parody
EDITOR’S INTRODUCTION
1. The Work
A subject of speculation and rumor for decades, Atlas Slugged AGAIN (ASA) is the so-called “secret sequel” to the monumental Atlas Slugged (AS), by Annyn (rhymes with “hannyn”) Rant.
ASA has acquired an almost Grail-like status among the devotees of Rant’s work, the phrase “Where is Atlas Slugged AGAIN?” having become metonymic shorthand for an expression of futility or eternally-deferred salvation. The following exchange, recently encountered on a Rantian web site, is typicaclass="underline"
HRORK22: When will society ever be free of the parasides that steal our Freedom and pallute everything for us producers?
DOMINIQUEFRANK1: LOL. Where is Atlas Slugged AGAIN?
It is to such readers that news of the publication of this work will be particularly welcome. But why “secret sequel”? For two reasons: “Sequel,” because AS re-visits the characters and situations first explored in Atlas Slugged, published in 1957 by Fandom House. But “secret,” not only because Fandom declined to publish Atlas Slugged AGAIN, but because word of its very existence has been suppressed and denied from the moment its editor first perused the manuscript—a decision supported (albeit reluctantly) by the book’s author.
How the manuscript—the only one extant, as far as I know—came into my possession is worth a brief recounting.
In fact, it was delivered to my door by the mailman, in an ordinary manila envelope addressed to me. Inside I found what appeared to be an indisputably authentic document: a sheaf of pages, not printed with a computer’s uniformity and precision, but hand-typed on a manual typewriter, bound by two crossed rubber-bands, the title page of which bore the publisher’s official stamp noting the date of receipt (November 24, 1968). Attached by paper clip was a computer-printed letter reading:
Mr. Ellis Weiner: I saw your review of Atlas Slugged on Amazon and decided that you should be the one to take custody of this, which has been in my possession since 1968. At the time, I worked as an editorial assistant to Annyn Rant’s editor at Fandom House. My boss had been the original editor of Atlas Slugged. When a messenger delivered this sequel, my boss (who had not been expecting any such thing) said, “Hot dog!,” told me to hold all calls, and shut himself in his office.
When he emerged two hours later, his face was white as a sheet. He handed me the manuscript and said, “Burn this. And let us speak no more of it.” I laughed and said something like, “Well, I don’t know about ‘burn.’ But I’ll dispose of it.” I took the ms. but curiosity got the best of me. I hid it in a drawer until I could smuggle it home that evening.
The days that followed were full of crisis. My boss contacted both Ms. Rant and her agent and told them that publishing ASA would be “career suicide—for all of us.” His principal objection—supported by Fandom House’s legal counsel—was that one character in particular was so clearly modeled on an actual, living person, that that individual would have “a damn good” case to bring suit against the publisher, the author, “and any poor bastards in the immediate vicinity.” The upshot of such a suit would, he felt certain, not only result in substantial monetary damages, but in a complete recall and pulping of all extant copies of the book. Not only would Fandom House suffer, but so would Rant’s reputation, and probably Rant’s personal life as well.
Ms. Rant—who as you know was a highly intelligent and determined woman—at first insisted the work be published. But after several days, she, too, began to think the better of it. In the end, she agreed with my boss, and sent a formal letter withdrawing the ms.
When I read it at home I was saddened to think about its suppression, as it seemed to me to be a perfect sequel to Atlas Slugged. As for the “new” character, I was not at the time as familiar as I came to be, with the man on whom he was (so clearly) based. At the time I simply took it on faith that my boss and our lawyers knew what they were talking about. And so I held onto the manuscript but never mentioned it to anyone. In fact, I actually forgot about its existence until recently when, packing for a move to a retirement in Arizona, I came across it again.
I do not know if Ms. Rant kept her carbon, and if so, who has it now. So this may be the only copy left.
I leave it to you—a proven fan of her work—to decide whether to destroy it, turn it over to her estate, or arrange for its publication yourself. I apologize if this places an unfair burden on you, but as I said, your review of Atlas Slugged on Amazon was so positive and insightful, I decided this poor orphaned work could have no better guardian. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
So touching was this letter, and so intriguing an opportunity did it present, that I couldn’t find it in my heart to inform the writer of it that in fact I had never reviewed Atlas Slugged on Amazon. But a brief glance at that web site confirmed that “Ellis Weiner” had given the book five stars, and had reviewed it thus:
THIS BOOK IS GREAT!! IT IS MY FAVORITE BOOK. THE PHILSOSOPHY (sic) IN THIS BOOK WAS VERY INTERESTING. IT SHOWS THAT BECAUSE THE UNIVERSE EXISTS YOU SHOULD USE YOUR MIND AND BE INTELLIGENT AND NOT LISTEN TO STUPID PEOPLE! NO ONE SHOULD DO ANYTHING FOR ANYONE ELSE UNLESS THEY GET SOMETHING IN RETURN BECAUSE THAT IS THE ONLY THING THAT MAKES SENSE.
After several hours of Googling and other detective work I discovered that the Ellis Weiner who had written this review was a ten-year old boy from Sherman Oaks, California. (It was merely one more strange facet of this tale, that there should be anywhere on earth another person named “Ellis Weiner.”) As I had, for decades, been published as an author and co-author of various books, as well as a writer for many magazines and a national blog, I could hardly blame the person who had sent me Atlas Slugged AGAIN for assuming that its Amazon review had been written by me, and not a fourth grader fond of his Caps Lock key.
So I decided to return the manuscript (after reading it) to the person who had sent it. But I discovered that the envelope had no return address, and the signature at the end of the letter was indecipherable. I made a token effort to research who, in 1968, had been Annyn Rant’s editor, and who had been his assistant, but both inquiries yielded nothing.
I could, of course, have delivered the manuscript to the Annyn Rant Society, or to a university, or to Fandom House. But, frankly, I didn’t want to. I was one of the few people I knew who had actually read the entirety of Atlas Slugged, and I found the possibility of being associated with its legendary sequel to be too tantalizing to relinquish.
So I arranged to have Atlas Slugged AGAIN published. The present text is a complete rendition of the manuscript as I received it. Apart from the routine correction of typos, nothing has been edited, excised, or added.
Before proceeding, however, it might be helpful to place the characters and events covered in ASA in context.
2. The precursor: Atlas Slugged
Atlas Slugged was Annyn Rant’s second major novel. (Her first, The Figurehead, dealt with the theme of personal genius, set in the cut-throat world of tall ship design.) At the center of AS are five principal protagonists: