“To whatever you want to ask,” he said.
“Shouldn’t you let us ask the question first?” the principal said.
“No.”
Ruby scratched her belly. She was allergic to stubbornness.
“Alex, we are barely surviving,” the principal said. “Savage is about to tell the president our secrets, the kids haven’t been in a classroom in months, and your ex-girlfriend is kicking our behinds. Every day, five twelve-year-old kids have to stop another end-of-the-world scenario. They’ve been depending on luck more than they should, and yesterday the luck ran out. Lisa kidnapped the president’s daughter.”
“She’ll bring Tessa back once she realizes what a brat she is. Serves her right.”
“What do I do about Savage?” the principal asked.
“Prepare for the worst.”
“He’d listen to you.”
“I said no.”
Ruby stepped forward. “So you’ll let old bullet-head tell the government about us? You know what that means, right?”
“If they come, run,” Brand said. “Destroy the Playground. The self-destruct password is ‘Maxwell Smart.’”
“You’re also turning your back on Ms. Holiday!”
Brand turned to face Ruby. His eyes were full of anguish.
“Ms. Holiday is sick,” Ruby said, her voice shaking. “She must still be infected with the villain virus, and you walked away from her. She needs your help!”
Brand shook his head. “Ms. Holiday is not suffering from any virus. She was spying on us.”
“That’s not true!”
“Yes, it is, Ruby,” Brand said. “When she went rogue, I wanted to believe that she was sick or being manipulated. But we searched her house. We found fifteen different passports, seven different birth certificates, and detailed notes on the Playground, you kids, and me. The Lisa Holiday we know is really Viktoriya Deprankova of Novosibirsk, Siberia. She’s the daughter of exiled political activists. When she was fifteen, she robbed her parents, stole a car, and drove it cross-country with a professional thug named Lars Corsica. They got married, but when they were arrested for the stolen car, Lars told the Russian police his bride was responsible for a dozen crimes he had actually committed. Viktoriya was sentenced to fifteen years in prison. After the verdict, she was approached by a member of the Russian secret service, who offered her a way out of jail—she could become a spy.”
“You’re saying she was a double agent?” Ruby said.
“They trained her to be one of us. She learned English, went to college, was even a cheerleader, and then a librarian—as American as apple pie.”
“But I thought we were getting along with the Russians,” Ruby said.
“We are, but old habits die hard,” the principal said. “I’m sure we have deep-cover spies in their country, too.”
“Regardless, she wasn’t real and neither was our relationship,” Brand said. “Everything was a lie and I was too stupid to see it. That’s why I can’t help you. I can’t trust my instincts anymore.”
“Did you know this?” Ruby asked the principal.
The principal nodded.
“OK, so she’s a bad guy,” Ruby said. “That’s another good reason to help us. You can’t just run off to some cabin and grow a hipster beard and go whah! whah! whah! on your stupid oboe!”
“I’m not going to be lectured by someone whose biggest problem is whether her mom is going to get her to soccer practice on time.”
Brand turned back to the lake. Ruby couldn’t believe it, but the bravest man she had ever known had thrown in the towel.
Frustrated, she marched back to the Jeep.
“Well, that’s that,” the principal said when he got into the driver’s seat. He started the engine and drove back down the overgrown driveway.
On the drive back, Ruby gazed out at the countryside and rubbed her swollen feet. She was allergic to disappointment.
Tessa followed Miss Information through the halls of her huge underground lair until they reached a thick steel door labeled UPGRADE ROOM. She watched her new boss place her hands on a green glass screen next to the door. The glass flashed, and a moment later the door slid open.
The room was completely empty except for a silver podium.
“What’s this thing?” Tessa asked.
“This is where the magic happens, and that’s the magic wand,” Miss Information said.
She pressed a blue button on the podium. Red laser lights danced across the walls and swarmed over Tessa’s body like bees on a flower.
“What’s going on?” she asked.
Miss Information grinned. “You’re being scanned for your biggest strength.”
“STRENGTH DETECTED SUBJECT IS TWO-FACED,” a voice said.
“Hey!” Tessa cried. “Is this some kind of joke?”
The robotic voice ignored her. “SUBJECT TAKES GREAT PLEASURE IN DECEPTION SUBJECT IS A BACKSTABBER SUBJECT IS A CHAMELEON SUBJECT NEEDS MORE THAN ONE FACE SUBJECT NEEDS MANY FACES PREPARE FOR UPGRADE.”
“Here we go,” Miss Information said. “I’m going to step out and monitor from the hall.”
“Wait! I—”
But the woman was already through the door.
An observation panel opened in the wall, and Tessa could see her new boss in her bizarre mask waving to her like Tessa was about to ride her first roller coaster.
“INITIATE UPGRADE?”
The question repeated itself over and over, but Tessa could not answer.
“If you want to do this, you need to say the word begin,” Ms. Holiday instructed. Her voice came through a speaker mounted on the wall.
“What if I don’t want to?”
“There’s nothing to worry about, Tessa!” Miss Information said. “This is going to help you get your daddy back.”
“INITIATE UPGRADE?”
The woman could be a nutcase. Or this could be an elaborate revenge from the director of the CIA; he was still mad about that wedgie she gave him. But … what if this was real? What if this woman was really offering Tessa her greatest wish? She might look like a fool later, but it was worth the risk.
“Yes, begin!” Tessa cried.
Tubes attached to dozens of fearsome tools dropped from the ceiling and wrapped themselves around her body. She was yanked off the floor and held aloft like a fly caught in a spiderweb.
“Um, is this normal?” Tessa asked.
Miss Information gave her a thumbs-up through the window.
Several large hypodermic needles sprung from the ends of the tubes, which moved dangerously close to Tessa’s neck. “I’ve changed my mind. I don’t want to do this!” she said.
“Ruby, please, calm down. This will be over soon, and afterwards we’ll go out for frozen yogurt. Do you like frozen yogurt? What a silly question. Everyone loves frozen yogurt!”
“My name is Tessa,” she shouted.
“Of course it is,” Miss Information said. She seemed dazed. “What did I just call you?”
“Ruby,” Tessa said.
The woman clamped her hands on her head and buckled over as if hit with the worst headache anyone had ever experienced. Tessa watched her fall to her knees and cry out.
One of the needles went into the side of Tessa’s temple, and she felt like her head was on fire. As the room turned black, she heard her new boss say, “This part might hurt a little. Just keep thinking about that yogurt, sweetheart.”
Tessa didn’t know how long she’d been asleep—a day? Maybe two? All she knew was that when she woke up, she felt different. Her skin felt tingly and alive. It was as if every pore was suddenly aware of its own existence. It felt very good, but it scared her, too. What had that machine done to her?
Miss Information barged into the room. “Wakey, wakey! Let’s give these superpowers a test-drive!” she said.
Tessa sat up and narrowed her eyes at the woman. Who was behind that mask? What did this woman really look like? What was she hiding?