Having no other choice, I reach into my pocket, take out my phone, and dial Jessica. She answers after only a couple of rings. “Bryce, Dear. How’s fatherhood treating you?”
“Hello, Jessica,” I state while watching Alexis’ reaction. “Fatherhood is wonderful, perfect in fact.”
Alexis closes her eyes briefly and sucks in a long winded breath.
“Lovely. How can I help you? We are not scheduled for a session until Thursday. Do you need to see me earlier,” Jessica asks, hope in her voice.”
“Actually, yes. I would like you to come over today, if possible.”
“I can organise that. Is everything alright?”
“Well, I’ll leave that up to you to decide. Alexis is...let’s just say displaying signs of angered frustration. She won’t talk to me about it, so I’m a little concerned.”
“Oh...you didn’t just go there,” Alexis hisses, her fiery glare incinerating me on the spot.
I glare back at her, determined to sort this shit out. I’m not having one of the happiest times of our life marred by her pent up and unwarranted feelings of jealousy toward Chelsea.
“Okay, I can be there in around an hour,” Jessica informs.
“Thank you. See you soon.”
I end the call and put my phone back in my pocket, my stare never wavering from Alexis.
She accelerates her strides even more, practically punching the button with her clenched fist. “I can’t believe you just insinuated that I am not coping well after giving birth. Firstly, you have no right. Secondly, I am dealing with mothering our gorgeous son just fine thank you very much. To even imply that I cannot handle him or—“
“I’m not implying that at all.”
“Then what was that?”
“You need to talk about whatever it is that is pissing you off. And if you won’t talk to me about it, you can talk to Jessica. You should be exceedingly happy at the moment, but you aren’t. I don’t want you to look back at this time and have any regrets.”
She hits the emergency stop button on the treadmill and comes to a halt, slumping over the arms rests. Taking deep breaths and looking overly exhausted, she wipes her brow with a towel.
After a few seconds of catching her breath and bearings, she steps off, grabs her water bottle, and has a long drink before walking up to me. “I have no regrets...none at all, none where you and Brayden are concerned. I never have and I never will,” she says quietly, hurt evident in her voice.
I watch her walk back inside before stopping at the bassinet and smiling at our son. The love she projects for him is obviously genuine and in abundance which just confuses me all the more. Then why is she so unhappy all of a sudden? I take a deep breath and pray to God that Jessica will figure it out.
Just over an hour later, I let Jessica into the apartment.
“I like what you’ve done with the place,” she admires, grinning at the now baby-fied surroundings.
“Yeah, feels more like a home now.”
“So, where is she?”
“Up in our room with Brayden. Just go straight up.”
“You sure? I don’t want to start a session with an already irate patient, it’s much more work on my part.”
“It’s fine, she’s feeding. I’m sure she won’t mind.”
Jessica winks and squeezes my arm before giving me a tight embrace. “Congratulations, I’m so proud of you. And don’t worry, I’ll get to the bottom of whatever is bothering Alexis.”
“Thank you,” I reply while watching her make her way up the stairs before I head for my office.
As I sit down, I’m instantly made aware that the baby monitor on my desk is switched on due to hearing the sound of Alexis’ voice singing “Baby Mine”. As her words filter from the small portable speaker in front of me, I am transfixed by the indisputable love she projects as she sings them. I could sit here forever and listen to her heartfelt words to our son—it’s so mesmerizing.
“Excuse me, Alexis. Sorry, am I interrupting you?” Jessica says, her voice also now sounding through the speaker.
I go to switch the baby monitor off but pause with my hand on the button, not being able to bring myself to do it. It’s my excessive curiosity and basically having to know every single detail which prevents me from doing so. Instead—as my conscience goes to war with itself—I sit and continue to listen.
“No, that’s alright. I’m just settling him for sleep,” Alexis informs.
There’s a pause for a moment and I hear some muffled sounds.
“Oh, goodness, he is just a perfect little angel,” Jessica coos.
“Isn’t he just? Here would you like a cuddle?”
“Do you not want to put him down to sleep?”
“It’s fine. He basically lives in Bryce’s arms, so he’s used to it.”
“Well, in that case, I’d love to.”
There’s another pause in discussion and some more muffled sounds.
“My, oh my, does he look like his father.”
I hear Alexis giggle. “Yes, he sure does.”
This statement has me grinning from ear to ear when my phone rings. Annoyed by the interruption, I buzz Abigail. “Abigail, can you please hold all my calls until further notice.”
“Certainly, Mr. Clark,” she responds, the ringing ceasing immediately.
“Thank you.”
I hang up and continue to listen to the monitor.
“So how’s everything going? Is he feeding well? Are you getting enough sleep?” Jessica asks.
“Now, Jessica...you wouldn’t be here to find out if I’m suffering postnatal depression at all would you?” Alexis asks with a playful tone to her voice.
Jessica laughs and it has me a little perplexed. That is exactly why she is here.
“No, Alexis. Well, that is why Bryce asked me here. But no, I just wanted to see your handsome and incredibly adorable little son.” Traitor! Fucking traitor!
I’m just about to get up from my desk and march upstairs to demand she put her skills—that I pay her considerably for—to use when she continues speaking.
“...However, seeing as I am here, and seeing how you are clearly not suffering from postnatal depression, do you want to tell me why Bryce is so concerned? Obviously you have given him reason to be.”
Clever woman, why did I doubt her?
“It’s my own insecurities, Jessica,” Alexis sighs. “I’ll get over them.”
“Insecurities about what? You look great. You’re healthy, you’re—“
“I look great? Pfft, I have a long way to go to get back to the weight I was happy with. The weight I was when I met Bryce.”
She has a long way to go? Fucking bullshit! She looks as stunning as ever.
“Alexis, I’m not going to stand here and tell you that these insecurities about your post-baby body are ridiculous, because they are not. Nearly every mother to have just given birth feels this way, it’s quite normal. What I will say though, is give yourself a break. You will get back to the weight you want to be, in time.”
“I may not have time,” Alexis mumbles so softly that I can barely hear.
“What do you mean?”
“Nothing, it’s nothing. Look, I know I will never be a skinny supermodel and I never want to be. I was happy with my curves and being a size twelve. After all, I am 37 years of age and a mother of three. It’s just...I want to get back to that weight as soon as possible. I don’t want to risk—“
Alexis cuts herself off.
“You don’t want to risk what, Alexis?”
Leaning in closer to the monitor, I strain to hear what she is so worried about.