I lift the nappy to find the filthiest looking mushy substance known to man. Fuck, I can’t even begin to describe what colour it is.
After wiping his dirty arse and sliding a clean nappy underneath—just like Alexis showed me—I hold out the folded-nappy-of-death for Alexis to dispose of.
I then lift Brayden’s bottom to position him correctly and wipe his little fella clean. Just as I am about to secure the clean nappy, a fountain of yellow baby piss hits me square in the face.
What. The. Fuck?
I hear Alexis muffle her mouth with her hand, and even though my eyes are closed and painted with urine, I know she is about to burst into laughter.
“Did our son just piss in my face?” I state calmly.
Alexis, still trying desperately to stifle her outburst, croakily responds. “Um...yes, yes he did.”
“Right. Do you wanna hand me a towel, or a wipe, or a fucking tissue?” I ask, still keeping my tone calm.
“Sure.” She lets go of her bottled outburst and cracks up laughing. “I would love to.”
Seconds later I feel her wiping Brayden’s piss from my eyes, followed by my lips and the rest of my face. And, now feeling that it is safe to unseal them, I pry one eye open at a time to find one happy little boy squirming around underneath my hand.
“You think that’s funny, don’t you?” I ask him. “Pissing on daddy like that.”
“You need to keep his Mr. Doodle covered with either the nappy or a towel AT ALL TIMES!” Alexis reaffirms as she leans down and kisses Brayden’s head. “Otherwise this little cheeky critter will give you a golden shower. Won’t you?”
“Speaking of shower, that’s where I am headed now,” I declare as I walk toward the ensuite.
“Bye, Daddy,” Alexis calls out from behind. I turn around to find her holding Brayden and waving his little hand at me. “Thanks for changing my nappy.”
“You’re welcome, baby boy,” I reply with a laugh. “Anytime.”
After a quick shower, I soon discover it is almost time for my appointment with Chelsea. As I make my way down the stairs, I find Alexis sitting on the floor with Brayden lying on a bunny-rug beside her. She is holding a brightly coloured caterpillar-looking thing not too far from his face.
“Boo!” she coos at him, after pulling it away quickly. “I can’t wait for you to smile for the first time, BB. Something tells me you will have a smile like your daddy.”
BB? I thought we dealt with that shit.
I quietly and purposely walk up behind them. “BB?” I question, while firing an interrogative expression her way.
She startles a little and looks up with an uh oh-I-just-got-busted look. “Um...yes! Baby Brayden.”
Realisation dawns on me. “That is why you wanted the initial B, isn’t it?” I ask, impressed.
She giggles, revealing her plan. “Maybe.”
“You never seem to amaze to me,” I say, shaking my head with a smile. “Listen, I have my appointment with Chelsea now. I want you and Brayden to come in to the office while she’s here.”
“I really don’t want to,” Alexis murmurs without looking at me. “We are happy here.”
The buzzer to my office sounds and we both look at the speaker. Why we do this...I’m not really sure.
“Please, I want to show off my son...and the amazing woman who gave him to me.”
I hear her make a ‘pfft’ noise, and her confident demeanour from seconds ago is now gone. It saddens me.
“Sure, if it means that much to you,” she says with clear distaste as she slowly gets up from the ground.
Walking toward my office, I’m ready to put Alexis and Jessica’s theory to the test. Surely Chelsea isn’t as bad as they say she is.
Heading straight for the door, I open it to find Chelsea seated in reception, brushing down her dress and fixing her hair and makeup. Instantly, I pick up on her effort to make herself presentable. Normally I would find this preparation an honourable quality, something that all employees or business associates should make habit of doing before a meeting. This time though, I see it more as an attempt to impress me on a different level.
My newfound insight surprises me.
“Good afternoon, Chelsea, please come in.” I stand back and hold the door open for her, remembering what my mother had always said about being a gentleman. ‘Chivalry is only dead if you, yourself, kill it.’
Expecting her to walk in like I directed her to, I’m shocked when she instead stops and places a quick kiss on my cheek. “Hi, it’s nice to see you again. I feel we haven’t caught up in such a long time.”
Okay, that kiss was unprofessional and certainly not called for, considering my fiancé is in the room and has just recently given birth to our son.
Worried that because this particular experiment is proving Alexis and Jessica’s thesis correct, I quickly give Alexis a glance to check I haven’t upset her any further. I honestly did not see Chelsea as this brazen before now. Shit! Have I been that blind?
Expecting to see Alexis resembling a cartoon character with steam billowing out of her ears and nostrils, instead, I see a withdrawn woman who is extremely uncomfortable.
Chelsea follows my line of sight toward Alexis. “Oh, hello, Alexis, I didn’t know you would be here,” she says with a sweet but somewhat bitter tone of voice.
“Well, I do live and work here, Chelsea...,” Alexis replies just as bitterly sweet while cradling Brayden in her arms. “...And, this is my fiancé’s office, so I’m bound to be around aren’t I?”
“Yes, you are,” Chelsea replies curtly. She looks back at me, appearing to wait for my instruction as to where we should sit.
Thinking that she would have acknowledged Brayden by this stage, asking how he is...heck, even asking what his name is, I’m surprised that she hasn’t. Maybe it’s because he is in Alexis’ arms, and approaching her would be awkward due to their obvious animosity toward each other.
I decide to put that theory to the test too and take Brayden from Alexis. “Chelsea, this is Brayden, Alexis’ and my son,” I say proudly, stepping up right beside her.
“He’s cute,” she replies, giving him a quick smile then focussing back on me. “But then again, he is your son.”
I furrow my brow, her flirting obvious and quite frankly pathetic.
At this point, I’m pissed off. Pissed off because one: I’ve been so fucking blind and because of that it has hurt Alexis. Two: I fucking hate it when I’m wrong. And three: the way she just treated my fiancé and son in front of me was nothing short of appalling.
Moving away from Chelsea, I pass Brayden back to Alexis and kiss her with a purposeful show. When I’m done, I turn back around and ask Chelsea to sit in the seat in front of my desk. She does but not before shooting Alexis a subtle scowl.
Sitting down opposite her, I steeple my hands in front of me and prepare myself to potentially lose an old friend. “Chelsea, I’m going to have to let you go,” I say neutrally.
“Let me go wher—“
“Your behaviour, especially today in this office, is unprofessional and quite frankly embarrassing. I made it exceedingly clear that we were nothing more than friends a long time ago, and honestly, I’d hoped you could work here with a proficient, friendly and skilled manner. Clearly, you can’t. And that being the case, I’m sorry to say that you’re employment with Clark Incorporated is now effectively terminated.”